Fated Or Doomed

Home I

Travis

     

      In the lost of everything. Inflicting pain upon myself and others has been my only sense of relief. And it never seems to end. It just keeps on going and going. It begins to get harder to let go. At times I will get a small respite to just stop and take a breather. Yet the relief I crave never comes. I get the urge to just estrange to my own asylum.   

      After time and time I bring the crowd to excitement like never before. They scream and shout. Cheering on the gore show. I couldn't be more proud to see how far my warriors have grown from their last matches.     

      But now it is my turn to show them how it goes. "Who's next?" I shouted. I walk around and one brave warrior walks up tall and lean.     

      "Me Alpha." He was bulk and large just like me. I see a well match among him. We nod in a swear agreement.  

      Coming to a stand, we begin. At the lost of every step and every hit. I crave the need to hear the cracks of his nose. The gasp to increase around us. I wanted to feel his pain through me. And the split of my rough skin cracks even more.  

      My mind is at lost during our match. It was hard to tell whether it was me or Travis who fought. But our anger was who fought. Not us. At times I wish I let them take me out. I wanted nothing more than to lay flat on the ground and allow the darkness to eat me up.   

      Alphas don't stop.

      We get lost in the phantom until a voice screams through. The crowd semi breaks out and I hold the man there. More shouting and the people move. Letting the man go, I punch the wall behind him. I squeeze my hand and blood ooze through my grip.    

      The unrealistic sound of the voice coming in after all the footsteps faded away. The door slams and I feel I am not alone.

      I smell nothing but an appalling sweat and pain my taste buds had in days. As the voice spoke its first words. Travis and I pause in the sense of us snapping the sweetness.

      It comes more intense and I couldn't take it anymore. I couldn't accept it is as it is after so long. The abandonment was worse than battle scars I'd adore through my years. This wasn't how it should be. I had fucked up everything in my life and that was fine.

      When the voice step closer I couldn't, when my snout smells its intoxicant scent. I couldn't accept any of this. I want it now as I did from the first time I sniff its scent. But as the same time. All of this apart, I felt I couldn't be granted its presence.

      Maybe Goddess was telling me I was a fuck up and I wasn't the man to have it all. And I was so fucking close to have it all until I fucked it up and lost the intoxicant scent. Now it felt like forever. I thought it'd be forever until I smell it again.     

      "Is it real Malcolm?" Travis was still lost in the battle of our faults. Strapped down in the pit we made.

      Why come now. She seemed better off. And even now I wanted to strangle every person to get to her. I wanted to wrap my hand around her throat to consume what she has taken away from me. 

      "She's back." 

      I knew in some way she'll kill me. I knew it. Willingly. The place and how wasn't this though. I thought during my abyss of darkness itself will kill me in time. Now I guess she prefers to do in person.  

      I'd love to say in a grin I will still die for her. I will be happy to have this last encounter and be kill in her undoing. I will still fight and watch her green eyes mold in my rage of love for her.