Fated Or Doomed

Deprived

Liv

         

      I kept my time by just taking care of Connie. She was sore most days, yet she argues that she doesn't need any help. She did this the first 2 days. It was really to get her mother to leave.        

      Since then it has been just Connie and I. I've kinda been using her as an excuse to occupied myself. I do anything but drill to my insanity. And the small edge I get when I think of my mate. I have to stop and restart my system. I will wipe my tears and continue doing anything to not think. And when there's nothing to do. Or Connie goes off to do it herself. I nap. And nap. And just nap.      

      She says I'm mule and avoiding things now. And Yes. I am. I can't stop thinking of how much I screwed up. I made everything worst and I don't think I can fix it. On top of the news of my mates derailing. Any news from anyone about my impossible shit just never clear the air. It makes it thicker.      

      I just want to turn into a bat and hide.      

      I finish cleaning one side of the apartment while Connie cleans the other. She has been clear to her normal activities now. The doctor just tells her to take it easy. And I try reminding her that. But she says she's fine and so far, so far she has been fine.       

      "Okay we are all done." She cheers.        

      I look around and see we had not only clean. We rearrange her place too. Connie kept ordering for a new change. So new this here and old this there. Out with this and flip that.        

      "Can we rest now?" I pouted a bit.

      Connie smiles a wicked kinda way. I shake my head knowing she wanted something else done. "No, Connie."    

      "Oh yes, come on." She jumps.   

      "Sleep girl. We need sleep and rest. My body hasn't been to the gym to do this much crap." I whined. 

      "Just come and sit bitch." I head to her. She pats the rug. "Ass down."        

      I do as she instructed but in a moody way. "I'm gonna help you get your clarity Elizabeth."    

      My eyes widen sharply at her. Questioning her really. "If you're gonna tell me the same shit everyone else has. I need a day to reboot. I can't just walk back as if I didn't shatter things worst. Or make worst by going back. It's too mess. And living on either way doesn't make sense." 

      Connie tilts her head. Her soft blue eyes stares me down. With her hands out she awaits.

      "Ugh fine."

      I take her hand and wave hers right over the candle that sits between us. It is wrap in a yellow and white thread. Telling me she plan for this casting.

      "I'd been practicing. No blood, just hold my hand and empty your mind. Warning it will burn. Sorry." She smirks at me.

      I gave her a quick side curl. Not caring much over the pain.       

      I see Connie focus on the candle. And the yellow flame burns and pops to a dark red blood flame. A deep indigo color wraps around. Her blue flame spark from the edges. It dances so beautiful. I was in awe to see it. I could only smile proudly at my best friend's gift.        

      "Okay. Like I said. Empty your mind. And you will see what you mostly need. It's what you need to help you go forward with things. Just say his name. And you'll see the truth of life with him." I question her a bit more. She only scowls at me for resistant. "Just come on Liv. I've done this a few times. It's like therapy."