Fated Or Doomed

Mask Or Truth I

    Liv
   
    I can't fucking deal with this shit right now. They won't even let me talk. They had already made their claim about me. And they demanded we take orders from them. They believe the fucking worse. They didn't care for what we had to say. This was a joke to them. False on ever aspect that is of us. As if the rumors and upscale of it all is the truth. It some kind of plot to come by.They don't see this is real. They don't even try. Just shive us down to keep the act of the big wolves. As if they can control us or me. I knew the law and I am aware theres tricksy within it. They think we just do this for power or that i'm using Travis and the whole fucking pack.
   
    Ugh I can't think of what else they planned to say. Travis tried to stand up for us and it only pissed them off. Them storm out the room. I know that had to be a bad sign. Travis try to convince me that this was just a test. And if it was, I failed. Right after I grab gamma and left.
   
    Gamma and I walk into the spell room. No matter how bad I wanted to throw and break stuff. I just get myself ready to transit. I set all my stuff up as every word the elders say repeats in my head. I mark the ground and boil my herb. Took my drink to minus my bond. Gamma hasn't said a word since we left the alpha and beta. We gotta a good bond where she knows me even before she takes her oath. No words she can say will help right now. She knows all my mutters are vile lashing out. I quickly chug down my drink and place it down.
   
    "Do you really think this is a good idea right now? We can do anything." Sarah says.
   
    "I don't want to be here right now. I can't. I have shit to handle in here." Pointing to my head.
   
    "Luna?" She asked. Here eyes spoke concerns but I can't care right now.
   
    I walked over to my spot and lay down. Gamma takes her chair where she been seating and reading her baby books.
   
    "Don't wake me up unless its time." I demand. She nods. I chant the last words and my eyes close. Leading me in a pitch of darkness.
   
    Opening my eyes i'm in a room fill with blank frames all around. I walk all around. An onimus breeze hits me. An annoying sound of wind chimes echos. Creeping around as chill hits. "Haha. You're not funny."
   
    I hear a soft laugher behind me. Turning around I see the other me. And the room, its now a field of nothing. I stand on the top of a hill. A autumn coat of field.
   
    "Creepy huh?" She smirks back at me.
   
    "No. Now can we just.."
   
    "No!" She said.
   
    I huff loudly. "Don't start. I'm not in the mood for your shit. I just need to know.."
   
    "The truth." She finish for me. "Aren't you tired of all of this. Can't you see how useless it is. Aren't the boys not satisfying enough to just go on with reality together. If you want the truth. Theres something I can do." She walks down her chair. Walking down to me with a mirthless smile. "You keep this up and you can face the truth from the one person you know will never lie to you. She has always told you the truth."
   
    "Fuck off with this shit." I push through the field. "Your talk about pain and all isn't working. I had enough people telling me i'm a mistake and an evil creation. You are no different."
   
    "Poor Travis." She pouted. "What kind of mate does he have when she can't even face her truth. She has to come here to get some kind of comfort he can't give her. And still she a shell as always." I push over and speed to face her. My eyes darken red. She gives me a snickering grin.
   
    "I'm not playing this pathetic game with you. I just.."
   
    "You want to end it all. And it can't end unless you are no more." My spine straighten when I heard her voice. My other self smiles wicked at me. And I turn to face the voice that has always haunted me. That always been that little voice in my head.
   
    "What the hell are you doing here? I killed you." I grunted.
   
    Crossing her fingers she flips her hair and walked proudly to me. "I may be dead Elizabeth. But you are just as dark as the day you set your own mother on fire. I told you how good that evil felt. And how great you will destory everything. So give it up." Sage says softly.
   
    "Get out! I don't need to hear shit from you!" I yelled. My anger taking over. My hands engolfed in magic. Powering orange and purple light.
   
    "Oh I can go but you know i'm always with you." Been a long time, I face my mother again. Even in my nightmares. She still there. "Any bad feeling. And good guilt you have. Its me. Your dear mother. I'm proud of you Elizabeth. I can't wait to see all the blood you will.."
   
    "I'm nothing like you." She chuckles at me. Her proud smile was uneasing. "I do whats best for my people and my family. You did what was best for you. Your image and all. You were a monster."
   
    Sage chuckle at me. "If i'm the monster. You are the canny devil that cast such wick things. A beautiful figure of darkness."
   
    A soft chuckle bubbles out. "Nice insult. You'd said worst."
   
    "Sure. Tell me this. Yet over time you say you grew. Why you harmself in your mind still? Is it cause the aching knowledge your mate needs better." She tilts her head with a pout. "Ooh daugther of mine, do remember what I told you." She says all this in a fake motherly voice.
   
    "Just shut up. I came here because I need to." I slap her hand away as she tries to reach for my cheek.
   
    Her expression slips. "No. You came here because you can't face reailty. You need some kind of reassurance. Gosh you need to stop that childish shit. Grow up!"
   
    "Stay fucking dead then!" My hand falls to ground. Cracking the earth as it splits into. Myself and Sage guffaw at me.
   
    "He will not love you forever. No one can. You were alone then and your more alone now. Powerful creature like us can't find love. You can match so little if you have say mate. But what good is it to them. They can't match us. Your wolf needs better. But who am I to say. You already know this. Otherwise you wouldn't be here." Sage works herself back in with her tricks.
   
    Next thing I know. I'm back in the cellar. I don't react as I had move on. But seeing her walking atound. Flashing of weapons. It trigger me. I feel pain all over.
   
    "I'm not a kid. I moved on and I found people who love me." I whisper to myself.
   
    "Do they really? You'll be surprise how fake people can be. Not everyone is meant to be with their mate. And you know that." I look up at her. I'm on my knees. She towers. And I feel just as I did then. As if nothing has change. 
   
    But it has.
   
    A huge whip hits me. My jaw clench. I get trap in the past as I tell myself to let her rant. "Whatever spell you thought will work. It will break. You have. No true love. No fated mate. You traped him. He knows it. You for sure know it."
   
    Another hit and a tranch of blood pours under me. I can feel it. Looking down all my all scar reshowsed. "Its not real." I tell myself.
   
    "Of course its not." She squats to face me. "Let him go. Leave. Everyone is better. Safer when your gone. Wasn't your father alive when you were dead."
   
    "That was you." I softly whisper in pain.
   
    "It was you!" She yell. I try to get up to attack but I was chain down. My arm sting from some kind of poison. "Death, pain, loath, destrucation. Thats why you were born. Its your destiny. Thats your mate. And you can't reject that."
   
    Sage goes on talking all my failures and no matter how much I try to get her to leave. She pops back up. Taunting me with all my anxiety thought. I just kept my eyes to the ground.
   
    "Quiet. No noise. Silent tears." I repeat. Just like then. Soon I know she'll leave. It always work.
   
    "You want the truth. Your afraid. Admit it." Myself tells me.
   
    "How about you admit the truth. Thats what i'm here." Gasping for little airs.
   
    "You want to know? The whole truth?" I nod. Sage smiles at me. Whispering soft words in my ears. Claiming all my darkness. Like she a puppeteer.
   
    "Yes. I have to know how everything will play out." I look away from my mothers uncomfortable smile. I don't like her being proud of me. She can't play the good mother card.
   
    She gives me a smug look. Switching her hand over. Sage vanished. Turning the room back to what its ordinary scene. The cold air welcome me. "You will cause the pain and misery of not only those you love. Those you claim to protect and lead. Not only the world. So if I do this. You'll feel it. All of it. My only deal."
   
    I stood up. Letting my eyes dry before any tears try to drop. The freezing ice peels my skin. "Fine I don't care. I want whats best for everyone. I can handle pain."
   
    Another soft chuckle burted in the air. And all around I see numerious of things. She continues to play with my thoughts. Never giving me a clear answer. Little hints will come too. I mark it down to not forget. Hearing familiar voice grasp my attention. I can't caught the words they say. But my body was hits and I almost fall. Gunshots come into and  I look all over. A burning feeling get me. Screaming burting as I call for the names. I bent over as my belly hurts. My insides are on fire. I drop to my knees. The over bearing pain and emotions taking over me. I can't breath as I cough over and over again. Little stings of cuts prick at me. I feel attack but no attacker. In quick sight all I see is distrucation. My worst nighymare. Bodies I can conforim show. My eyes begin to burn. My vision turns red as blood covers. Bodies on the ground don't move. I can't hear anything living. Screaming, pain, blood, anger, greed. It spread around. No escape. Its all flashes again and again.
   
    "No, no, no." The land destroy and gone. It was hard to make anything out. "Its a lie. Your lying!"
   
    "Am I?" She asked.
   
    "Your fucking with my head!" I shouted. Blinking my blood eyes.
   
    "You believe in fairytales too much. You can't save everyone. Your the bad guy remember. One person, one choice, thats your outcome of it all." Her voice doesn't sound real. Its in the distances.
   
    Displaying whats happening. A figure runs around her. Pushing, shoving, hitting, and then stab. She pull the blunt object. The pain too real. The blood falls out. I grip the object that wasn't there but the pain was. The pool of blood under me was.
   
    "I'll be fine. I can save them. I can." I chanted.
   
    "You can barely save yourself. Your doom. And you will doom them as well." She smiled with her fangs. Licking her bloody hands.
   
    Flash of home, once it was good. Safe like reailty. She see good. Little good. But dark clouds and red skys cover.
   
    "This is what you want. Can you make it? Can you make it?"
   
    "Just show me." I demand.
   
    Little goes by and a small pinch of hope comes. She see pass the blood. The hopes of what could. "The people? Their not dead?"
   
    "Make up your mind? Not everyone lives?" She sighs. She begins to circles me.
   
    "Lives what? You keep changing it." I hold on to my aching belly.
   
    "Am I? Or is this the same event? Your move, your call can change its play. But does the end change?" She flashes away.
   
    "Just show me damn it!" Groaning in pain as more blood seep throw my already blooded hands.
   
    "Will you stop coming then. If I do as you demand LUNA. Stay in the present and live your life. Escaping here isn't good for you. You know what will happen if keep this up." I ignore her. Looking around me. All the images. "You need to stop it. Don't come back. Just deal with whatever comes. Theres no cheat cheat Elizabeth. Go be with Travis if you want to. Just live. Stop coming back here."
   
    "Fine! Just make the images clear!" I shouted.
   
    I turn to see her smile at me. And I thought she would do as I ask. "Times up. You're fucked."
   
    I scowl at her. I go to open my mouth but the room faded to darkeness. "What no!" Spining around I fall to the ground. Depth of darkeness eat me whole.
   
    My eyes pierces open. I jerk up and gasp for my first breath. I pull myself up quick. "Gamma what the hell. Why you pull me out. I was..oh shit."
   
    I sprang up quicker. Walking over my cast. My inside frozen a bit as I see Travis in rage. More than ever. He held gamma hostage by the throat.
   
    Travis eyes in rage more than I ever seen. You can see his teeth bare in the anger. "Want to explain before I take it out on her."
   
    "Travis its nothing. Let her go." Stepping towards him and gamma.
   
    He growls. Feral flashes in his eyes. Gamma whins in pain as Travis hits her head agaist the wall. Squeezing her throat more.
   
    "Travis stop! Leave her alone! She hasn't done anything wrong!" I yelled at him.
   
    "She didn't do her job. You won't breathing!" In that moment I knew I had sweared up. I was wrong in so many ways. My spell didn't work. How?
   
    Gamma whisper a plead. But he didn't care. He wanted answers."Stop it Travis!"
   
    "She sat there with your heart almost stopping! What kinda of gamma are you. You did not protect your luna!" He yelled at her.
   
    I started to panic. I can feel my stomach building bile as I see his anger being taken out on her. I couldn't let this be. I know I promises to say nothing. But I had to spoke up.
   
    "Travis she pregnant!" I yelled with a crack in my voice. Only way he will hopefully let her go.
   
    He turn to mets my eyes. Questioning my words. Looking back at gammas feared pleaded eyes. He looked down to her belly. Focusing on his hearing. A faint heart beat. Musted of echo through. He finally lets her go.
   
    Gamma instantly coughing for air. Rubbing her throat as the purple bruise come to sight. "Get out." He growled. Gamma looks at me for approval. I nod quick. "I said out!" Screaming at us. I flinch a little. Gamma rushes out. And I feel completely at fault.
   
    His shoulders heavy up and down. I call his name. Only to have him become frenzy at me. "What the hell were are you doing?"
   
    I fix my face. "What do you want? You shouldn't be here." I walked over to my mess. Fixing my herbs once again.
   
    Travis stomps towards me. "Don't do that. Elizabeth?"
   
    "I'm busy. I'm alive. I'm fixing it. You can go now." He slam his fist to the table. I stop my hands from moving and just sigh. "Don't stop. I can't right now."
   
    "You can't?"
   
    "Yes I can't. I'm have work to do. And so do you. Just leave me alone." I walk off to my sink. Bent down to grab a blood bag.
   
    I heard Travis follow. He stands next to me. "I came here to explain the kiss. I would never betray you. But instead I come and find you near death and you don't even care to ask?"
   
    I look up to him. The word kiss stops my motion as I stood up slowly. I took a little breath before I can lash out. "I wasn't dead." I close the cabnet. "I didn't ask about the fucking kiss because I can't feel the bond when i'm in a state. I took a drink to hide it." I confess.
   
    "You what?" He asked in a light anger.
   
    "Oh don't what me. Clearly you and the elders have talked. You kiss your girlfriend. You could of keep it up." I walked away. Travis grab for my arm and yank him off. "No. I was in a spirital purgatory while you just find your.."
   
    "She fucken kiss me! I throw her out!"
   
    I fake pout at him. "Oh should I be happy now. You ended your shack. Go back to her. I'm going.."
   
    His eyes glow as Malcolm surface. Growling so loud the room shock. A few items fall to the ground. I say nothing but cross my arms.
   
    "I wouldn't cheat on the girl I love most in the fucking world. She Mason's thing. We never had anything. But that doesn't excuse the fact that your hidden something. I thought you and gamma.."
   
    "Mason's thing?" His jaw tick form me interrupting him. "So you're gonna say you and this girl never had a thing before. Never once thought or did a damn thing?" I ask as I take a step into his space.
   
    He looks down at me. Thinking and then his face relax too much. And I ask what happen. "Years ago. I never had a thing for her. But the three of us were drunk and she wanted a three some. I said no. Mason was semi into it. So she just suggest a double hand job. Thats it. Nothing more. I swear. She isn't even allow on the terrory anymore now." He goes on to tell me everything that happen in his office.
   
    I just nod and turn back to my work. I ignore any feelings. "You can still go. Their right. You need a she wolf. Go."
   
    "Enough of that!"  He shouted.
   
    "No you enough!" I push him out my face. "I have to prove shit. Everyone expects something. If it was easier to leave and keep you and everyone happy without causing this I would. Everyone was happier before I came. And I told you that! You have no idea how it feels to know you are replaceable. Theres always someone better!"
   
    "You don't think I get the stress. I do, more than you think." I shook my head. "I been pressured all my life. And don't think our life was better or remotely happy than. Travis and I were lonely ass fuck. I live in agony thinking I'll never find you. And if I do, that we wouldn't be worth it. All that dreed build up for never looking. And it kills me for not finding you sooner. You are not replaceable to us. We are at lost."
   
    I couldn't say anything but look to the ground. I looked away and just kept going on with my things. I still feel at fault of everything. Even their's. I can feel them anger at me. And I know they can feel my utter failure. Something I hate. Even at night when my nightmares wake them up.
   
    "Now explain on to what the hell you were doing?" I ignore him but he got in my face. Grabing my spoon. Demanding answers. "You said spirital purgatory. What the hell Elizabeth."
   
    "Its nothing. I'm just getting answers. We all need them. It for us. Okay." I throw my hand out. Wanting my spoon back.
   
    He places it on the table. His chest crave in anger. "How long have you been doing this? How long have you been disconnecting from us?"
   
    "Malcolm its not.." He snarl as Travis surface back. Yelling at me to not lie. "A few weeks after my father's burier."
   
    He caulcates the days. Furry in his eyes as he adds it up. "Months? You been doing this for fucking months." I nod. I grab the spoon and contiune my spell. I have to go back. "Your done. No more. I can smell danger of this. You could of killed yourself."
   
    "I would of been fine. And you can't tell me what to do anyways."
   
    Travis breaks a few jars. Throwing them beneath us. Proving he doesn't want me doing this anymore. "Your my mate! Do you not get that!"
   
    "Of course I do. But you don't get it." I turn as hurt flows in my eyes. "Your not the talk of destruction. You wouldn't be the cause of everything bad. So if I have to do this to just figure what best. Then I will. Besides, its one more time and then i'm done." I dip my finger into the bowl and cross over my heart and forehead. I reconnect myself to the spell.
   
    "Do you not understand you can still die. Why can't you stop and be here." I say nothing as I try to walk off. He follows and grabs my hand, interlocking our fingers. He works the bond and god damn it I couldn't hide. "Don't! We can't lose you. We don't need more answers. But I be damn to let you drain yourself. If you love us, if you truly love us.."
   
    "Fine!" I shouted. "But I have to go once more. Then i'll stop." I stare back at him. Meeting his eyes that sends me in a heat.
   
    Yet his eyes darken. "Im going with you."
   
    I shook my head debating. But he won't give up. "I do love you. The both of you." I caress their face. Scratching the nip of his bread. "I just don't want you or anyone to resent me. I aready resent myself. Thats why I'm do it."
   
    I go to make him a drink. Chanting words. Picking up the last jar and we both it split in half. I makes a mark on his chest over his heart. "Just go lay down."
   
    He follows me. We stood there as I relight the candles. I take a deep breath. And he grabs my chin. I look up. Closing my eyes. I can't bare to see his eyes look at me that way. Can can already feel it. He leans in and kisses my forhead. "I get it. But nothing is worth losing you. You must get that."
   
    "Lay down." I say while he pulls away and obey. "Repeat my words."
   
    He does as I say. Reapeating each words as we lay down. I feel the connection flow between us. Both our breath shorten a little. The room darken as the spell takes place.
   
    "Hey! Don't you think your off the hook. We're still.." I snap my finger to put him to sleep.
   
    I was already beating myself up about everything. I'll deal with this shit afterwards. He'll be just as upset when we return.
   
    Chanting the last few words alone. We are both drafted away. Heading to the cast of it all.