Fated Or Doomed

Home II

      Liv
     
      The walk into the room was different. It was like we were strangers again.
     
      Once the bond started to flow back into us both. It kinda felt wrong to touch them. I can tell they felt the same. Just the grace of our fingers sent huge sparks that jerk back.
     
      Flashes of my darkest thoughts interurpts.
     
      I walk slowly to the bed and sat at the edge. I watch as Travis head to the bathroom to clean himself off. Blood and sweat still on him. Myself? I couldn't gain the engery to change at all. I just stare down my dress. Touch the almost dry blood that he washes off.
     
      "I fucked up. I ruin us." I whisper to myself.
     
      When Travis came out the bathroom. He looks at me with a unfaze look. Still holding a look as if i'll disappear.
      I hold up my hand. Handing him a new shirt and pants. He walks over and grabs them. He only thank me in a grunt.
     
      I scout myself more on the bed. Feeling the sheets that spoke a lost of home. I wanted to smuttier myself in them but I wasn't sure if my mate would want me to.
     
      Bring my knees to my chest. I stare at nothing as I await for them. The floor makes a sound follow from their steps. Then the bed creaks. He sat in front of me. Placing each hand on my knees.
     
      I couldn't look up at them. All I felt at the moment was grief, guilt, and shame of what I done.
     
      "You're real little witch." I said nothing to the throbbing pain in my heart.
     
      Travis takes my hand. Sqeezing it tight. I slightly look up at them. His eyes were glaze over.
     
      "What happen little witch? Why?" He ask me in such hurt.
     
      My heart started to pump hard and I try to talk. He scouts closer and grabs my wrist. "I was just..I didn't feel any sense of acceptation to your love. I wasn't worthy of you, the pack, the coven, of life." I said softly.
     
      "It was us. We won't what you needed. We were less." His eyes glow and I see Malcolm and him speaks in one.
     
      I shook my head no. "It was me. I had so much bad that I couldn't see the good. Even when you went in my mind with me I saw all the evil that lead to my panic to our fallen. And all you did was smile with cons of joy you fantasies."
     
      "We asked to much of you." He removes his hand and drops his head. I felt agony when he did.
     
      "It wasn't you. It was me."
     
      "No it was us. I felt it. I thought I was doing good for you. Better even. I still do and in any awaking moment I wanted the freshest blood to savor you." I knew what he meant when he said those words. I knew the threat he held over himself.
     
      "Boys." I said softly and he brought his head up to me again. "I was healing and you gave me something I was never use of. It frighten me because I wasn't sure I can keep it. My life has relentlessly shown me I lost any good I touch. And I couldn't bare to lose you. I had to heal and find something to know my own worth. I have spend my entire life of, even now in terror. I didn't know how to treasure my wolf." I frown so hard my lips quiver.
     
      "We made it all worse for you. I wanted nothing more than to keep you alive. We would do anything. Hell Elizabeth you didn't had to run off and shut us out like that." I see a anger linging out. And I deserve it.
     
      "Did your single trip help you. Did you find your propose without us?"
     
      "Every single day was agony, it was..I don't know how to explain it really."
      I thought of how I can explain to them that it wasn't some cold feet. That it was more than that.
     
      I brought my knees down and cross my legs. I grabbed their hands in mine and they search me at my moves. It was the only way I can explain to them.
     
      "I am gonna show you. Everything I felt and what happen. I'll even be able to feel yours. That way we can understand the last 2 weeks of hell we had."
     
      "2 weeks, 3 days, 12 hours, and 48 minutes." He said so distress.
     
      I nod and close my eyes. I assume he follow when I felt his hand tighten over mines.
     
      "Is this a witch thing?"
     
      "I don't think so." I replied as I take a deep breath. I knew this way we can understand each other more. Not in forgiveness but in a way we can heal and reconnect.
     
      I hope.
      In a quick flash through our minds. We were able to sense what the other did along with what went through their mind. At any state they challege the other knew. It brough such a agony pain I dig my nails into them. Steading my shaking palms.
      From the moment we stand before the elders to the moment we lead here. Everything came out clear to us both. And in a gust of wind it flash black when it was all over.
     
      I gasp to the horror they saw. A tear drips down my cheek when I knew what they have been through because I wasn't the luna they thought I was.
     
      I open my eyes to see them staring down my arms. He rubs over both of them. Searching. He look up at me in a anger.
     
      "What did you do Elizabeth? How could you even.."
     
      "I thought after accepting the pain and every stage my life has been. Being happy because of you was selfish to have. I thought if my existent was the problem then I should do something about it."
     
      He shook his head in a disappointment. I had to look away from them.
      "Being half vampire heal your cuts. It was slow and painful but you still knew it wouldn't kill you."
     
      "I.." I gasp as I stare at the clean skin that once bleed out. "I thought you'll be better off because of everything my existence itself was causing but.."
     
      "But what now baby? Tell me." He coos and I look to their eyes to find the courage I needed to say. Something I never could do before them.
     
      "I fought to believe the impossible. It felt so unrealtic that I argue with myself over what I have done. I'm sorry it took me so long to know that no matter what you will always be the one constant in my life. I just couldn't held you up to it. And in doing so I almost lost Connie when I try to sense some kind of realty. I feel back and when I couldn't do it anymore it was you who kept me alive and I had no choice but to just make our impossible possible."
     
      In such a quick move Travis jumps over me. He bring his body between my legs. I cup their face when I felt such a butterfly feeling to their lips on mine. The battle of his tounge against mine was long doing.
     
      I couldn't breath when he parted from my lips. I was lost and wonder what this means.
     
      "I'll do it all over again. Even this week. But know this little witch." His tone sharpen and I know he was serious.
     
      "This was and will be the only fucking time i'll ever let you have some freedom quest. Mates are not you come to me and we face it together." He adds.
     
      "Boys.." I try to talk but he stops me.
     
      "No litsen!" He shouted. I shut my mouth. "There is no fucking next time. Because I will come for you. I don't give two shit what I have to do. But i'll bring you home again each time."
     
      He said this in a promise. And I believe his every word.
     
      I smile widely at them. "Normally before we met I would slap you for even saying such a thing. I'm not a prize. Or some trophy wife you can lock away."
     
      His eyes shifted and I chuckle to them. I wrap my arms over their neck and flip him over so I saddle ontop. "I don't like this type of alpha asshole mess but with you it fucking gets me wet to hear it."
     
      He grabs my hips and I felt a small buldge below me. His was was intrigue by my words while his eyes say it was deeper than rage love he had for me.
     
      "You just never had the right man in your life."
     
      I go to kiss them but held me back. I took my arm down. And they wraps them back over.
     
      "No more okay. If we're gonna do this then we're fucking doing this forever. Things are changing. And once the wedding and ceremony happens. A lot more will change."
     
      I nod amd try to jump off him. He grips my hip amd brings me back. My head snaps.
     
      "I'm not gonna be sweet forever Elizabeth. I wasn't raise like that. I was shown to bring my killing brought home to hang before his mate. I will prove to you every god damn day how worthy we are of you. And even so it will never be enough. Because your love and ours combine is never ending. Got it." Every word he said took a piece of mind.
     
      "And I will do the same. I wasn't given anything so percious without a fight. So I will fight. And fight my sweet wolf. I will always make it back to you. At any darkness. Mine or yours." I promises to them.
     
      "Good baby. Now we have an understanding."
     
      I watch as his lips slowly curls over and its contagious. Everything slows down and begin to normalize. Their amazing scent over takes the room. The feeling of home hits. And I knew this was where I was always meant to me.
     
      Travis grin widen dangerously when I felt a playful tug. My eye widen when he wraps his whole body over mine. Rolling us over the bed.
     
      "Aahh your home. Your fucking home baby! God damn it your home before I killed someone." He sings.
     
      I chuckle heavily at them. "You dogs are my kandle."
     
      He kisses me all over and I was shower with love. I do what I can to tease them back. In a small moment. Until a small ache hits. I felt so guilty. Pulling away I still feel like I lost them.
     
      I stare out the window. Watching each gray cloud float by. "You and Malcolm mean everything to me. I'm healing and you two help we realize I don't have to be afraid of it. I don't have to be stuck in my past anymore."
     
      I hear the bed creak as they stood up. I feel them getting closer to me.
     
      "You heal us. You have no idea what darkness we have deep down. But you heal us little witch."
     
      In the moment one thing pop in my mind. Its my guilty secret and i'm not fully sure of. I thought for a second I tell him.
     
      "Boys?"
     
      "Mmh huh."
      As my lips part to tell them about my fertility. I shut my eyes and held it back. I couldn't tell them just yet. What if it was a false test. A delay of my vampire side or something. I can't hurt them more after what I already done.
     
      And I didn't. I kept this to myself. At least for a bit more longer. And one day, a good day. I will tell Travis and Malcolm that we could and if not.. It changes nothing.
     
      "I love you my sweet wolf."
     
      "I love you my little witch."
     
      It doesn't change anything.
     
      Travis
     
      All I wanted was to stay here and never let her go. I wanted to basket in her scent that left long ago. I couldn't bare myself to leave her side. I just couldn't. Not when she was gone for so long.
     
      Things seem off when she return to the room. We talked and she had this way to express everything from underneath.
     
      Goddess she was more than life than she credits herself. If only I knew how to show her. But fuck I will try. My love for her is a deep greed.
     
      I worried when she saw my darkest state that she would see I am not the alpha she wanted and rethink her return. I wasn't just an alpha when we met. I was blood thirsting manic to the world. When she creep in my mind she saw that. She felt that deserve of fear I live in my own creed.
      Seeing playbacks of how I rip myself apart. Skining myself aliving to feel again. How I watch her death take upon in a far and how I was the gatekeeper of it all. I held her life in my hand and took it away. That I was weak and she was the death I will never recover. I rip my heart out my chest again and again. Seeing her face last until my eyes close to the numbless feeling of her kiss. Her last words play on replay before she left that day. She saw it all end.
     
      I thought she wouldn't look at me the same. Displace a horror grimace expression to me. But I was wrong.
     
      She unserstood more than I thought. Elizabeth the one who got me more than I do myself. Our state of lost was killing us and there was no return. But Elizabeth was who brought Malcolm and I back as one. It was her. She manifested us to greater highs. Without her its nothing to me.
     
      I started to feel more sense of what she did. Even so I wish I had done better so she didn't had to feel such shame. It was us at the end. Her leaving and having such a heavy load upon her was on us. We promise to ensure we do whats better and no matter what we keep her close.
     
      I step closer to her as she parted from me. We had just a small happy moment until her mind infested her with more shame. I couldn't help but have a rage fill me when I sense it.
     
      "I know I don't deserve your forgiveness but know I made the sacrifice in .."
     
      "Sacrifice?" I said a bit angry. "What kind of sacrifice was that when you choice to leave the way you did?"
     
      She turn around and I couldn't help but flare my nose at her.
     
      "At the time when it was killing me it seem best."
     
      "Its wasn't best. You practically killed us. Your lucky we didn't.." I took one step and she follow.
     
      "I know you had every chance to leave and find your she wolf." Her eyes faded and it fuel my anger how she see herself and us.
     
      "No!" I step even closer. "I was one step away from burning this world to get you back. Thats the sacrifice."
     
      "I'm not use to giving someone control of my own healing and damage good. I been on my own since I was 5."
     
      We now meet our closer and the heat rips off us both. Hers were calm and green while mine was angry and red. "You had others. We were just not good enough until you left." Saying the words itself was bitter and I knew it.
     
      Malcolm surface as I fight myself on the bitter sweet words.
     
      "No!" She shakes her head. "I always pull myself out. Connie and Mason won't there at my worst. And this wasn't them." She claims.
     
      "You went to anyone but us at the time of need. I was wrong to think you wanted to try."
     
      "I'm here aren't I?" She press her body onto mine and I couldn't hold back. In a way I think she likes me this way. No fluff. No soft love. She needed the real hard one.
     
      I humm to her. Staring down her angle face. "Look my demons and failures have been mine,my whole life. All I known is them. So accepting any good and handing it off to you wasn't right. It was wrong!"
     
      "We told you we love you regardless of your past even now I'll still kill my beta for hiding you from me." Her eyes turn red and it drawn me to her. So I lean in and she kept her tone firm.
     
      "Fixing myself is my problem. I couldn't do that to you. I wouldn't!" I see a tear break loose. Seeing her this way loose my anger to her but more to her infested mind.
      "Trust us that we could!" I shouted.
      "Trust has nothing to do with it!" She yelled back. And I saw that pain in her eyes as did her body. I felt it earlier and she had this pain her whole life. My body shifted back to her words.
      "I will still fight to heal to be with you boys even if it kills me." Her eyes shifted back to her pure green hues.
     
      "I want to kill those demons for you. But you can't just hide away from us. Theres not a fucking place you can hide Elizabeth."
     
      "I ruin everything didn't I." Her words soften as her eyes turn a dark to light green. When her head drop and more fuel of red hits.
     
      I turn and punch the wall. Elizbaeth didn't flinch at my provoke anger. Out of anyone in my life she was only person who never flinch to me. Nor judge me for it.
     
      "You can no longer do such hierarchy without talking to us!" I shouted in more anger.
     
      "It was in good will. Its what I thought was meant for us all." Wrong wrong wrong!!
     
      "No that was for anyone but us!" My fist rolls and I see her hurt of eyes.
     
      My breathing shakes as I break down my little nerves. "You don't go off anymore. Rather I understand or not you don't make life changing decisions on your own. For fuck sakes you do not get to bottle up shit. You are our prophecy and we will crawl through every corpse body we lead to ensure you! Elizabeth, you will stay as our fucking mate because you are fucking ours. No one else's, ours! We crave for that. No we fucking desire that Elizabeth!"
     
      We step inches away from each and we look dead in our deep loveful eyes. The air thins between us with every word we spoke. "We are not the little boys you use to be with. We are here for you and we are not leaving. Theres not a thing in this world that will make us turn against you."
      Fuck everyone to hell. All I needed and desire was her. All of her.
      "I will say the same to you alpha. I know you been protecting things from me. You mean well. But I can deal with a lot more than.."
     
      "Thats the point Elizbaeth you don't have too. Let us be there for you. Every time you push us it hurts. And I won't let that happen again. We do it together and.."
     
      "I got it!" She shouted.
     
      She turns back to the window. I feel her overwhelm. I met her back to my chest and I run my hands down her shoulders. Leaning her head back. She stares up. "You boys are protective and possessive I know. And I can be too so don't be surprise when I also bark out of control. I can match yours a lot worse." She warns me.
     
      I smile wicked at her. "You my little witch." I wrapped my arms over her tiny body. "You attract me more. Every second. My darkness has match yours. Thats magic." As we spoke our lips brush along her ear. I feel her body shiver under me.
     
      "Maloclm?"
    It was prefect how she can tell us apart. Even in anger she knew. It was Malcolm these last few minutes.
     
      "I'm not asking nor do I want your forgivness." My brow twist to her words. "I want a chance of life with you. I want to brand the world you brought me to and create our own. Despite the hell that tries to swallow us. But.."
     
      She swallow her word and turns to face us.  She runs her hands down my torso that craves her warmth. My heart cage in her light. Malcolm lips part. "Say it baby. Just fucking say it." Still a linger of anger lace.
     
      "But only if you will take me back. Only if.."
     
      Malcolm gives her no chance but takes her lips into his unto ther plump and red. He holds her hand back from tugging onto us. He wasn't so easy to let it fall back.
      "Don't you fucking ever go behind our backs again. We been gentle but I see now you don't obey by that unless rewarded so."
     
      She nods in a smirky grin. Malcolm pulls her in and kisses her head. She wraps her arms over our large body and everything falls back into heaven. "I am gracefully happy goddess answer my prayers and guided you back to our arms."
     
      Next few hours we fall into our ways as if their won't broken. Time stopped and resume after our fight. Yet in her cute witchy ways she praise my demands as she contributed her owns. Fucking goddess o mighty I fallen in love with her again. We both had the same fear. And in time we just have to be more open and understanding to make this work.
     
      I knew she needed space. It kills me to do it and I fought from burning that bridge that was already breaking down. But she also needed us.
     
      I needed to just be there for her and bring her into my world that I know she can handle every aspect of it all. I know she strong and she may not heard it. But in her mind when I was lost in the glory. I saw the small glance of what she fear I just thought it was a lie. Or maybe I thought it was mine and I didn't want her to know.
     
      She told me the truth. And the bond rekindle between us. Now that I look to my witch I see so much more light. She started to fight through all her fears.
     
      I did all I can in our time to ensure her that I do it all to keep her with us. I knew my words may seem a bit harsh but I meant every word. I will not stop until I have the life we deserve together. She will stay as ours no matter what.
     
      "I don't give a fuck how it makes me look. You are ours." I whispers into her ears.
     
      "I am yours." She replies.
     
      Night falls and sun sets over time for us. I cage her in my muscular legs to keep her from leaving. She tease me in a fight over pillows, she falls over and I see her face prelong. When they flow in her head she comes to me. Telling me the sharp pain in her chest. I find a way and she release a breath until they disappear. I kill the last bit of destress she carries in our grasp.
     
      Since her arrival we stay up. We couldn't sleep. Hell it felt so unreal to be thogether again. Almost feeling it was lost for good.
     
      The night we spoke of it all. Every last secret we handle. Every demon we fought alone and more. Yet I still never told her about the note. That I need more time before she knew.
     
      Laying kisses over her body. She repays with warmth of her own. We took a moment and gather it all.
     
      I call the wedding planner. Elizabeth wanted to restart the date. She was ready. But the call wasn't in our hopes.
     
      I caress Elizabeth arms when the new hit. We could only have a date at the end of the year. Its been Elizabeth's dream of a sunny wedding in a warm temp.
     
      I try to convince the planner but she said one entry was open and she was with the client now. She couldn't make promises. Elizabeth was sad and try to put a smile for me. She accept that we had to wait now.
     
      Yet things wasn't all a lost. We were able to keep her ceremony date. So we focus on that as much as we can. That it will be one thing after another.
     
      "Can the ceremony still happen without us marring?" She ask.
     
      I let a small chuckle out. "Of course baby." She nods and I see she will weddle in her head about it all.
     
      I press my myself between her. Looking down her body as she seats at the edge of the bed. I brush her hair down.
     
      "I'm gonna go off to the library."
     
      Those words felt like bullets striking us. Right when we had heal we were hit again.
     
      "Its too soon. She can't do this now. She gonna.."
     
      Malcolm growls in feral he couldn't talk. I roll my fist at the idea of her destroying her mind again. She need to rest and stay. Allow herself to build up to the life we over barrel in her.
     
      Why throw herself back so soon. Its only been a day