If You Let Me

I Love You

I woke up in a hospital bed, my mother sitting next to me. "Mom, what's happening." I say. My mom's eyes shoot open and she starts crying. "Sky, I asked you not to do it to me again." She sobs. "Mom where's Drei?" I ask, remembering the events that happened. "He's in ICU. Annie is with him, you need to rest my child." She says, trying to stop me from getting up. "Mom I need to see him please." I plead as the tears start falling from my face. My mother looks at me and hesitantly nods.

I made my way to the ICU ward. I saw Annie sitting beside his bed. "Annie, I'm so sorry." I say as I hug her. "Its not your fault Sky." She says as she also starts sobbing. "The police says that it was a drunk driver. He lost control of his vehicle and ran you two off the road." She says. "How is he?" I ask. "Its not looking good Sky." She says. I look at her and I just started crying. "He can't leave us Annie. I need him." I sob. Annie hugs me and tries to console me.

I calmed down a bit and suddenly his machine started going haywire. "Somebody help." Annie screams. I just stand there, looking at the scene unfold before my eyes. The doctors came rushing in and immediately rushed him to the operating room. "You need to wait in the waiting Area, I'll come to you with any updates." The doctor says, ushering us out if the room.

Annie and I have been sitting here for hours, and still no word from the doctors. My doctor came to me and told me that I was okay, my ribs are just fractured. I didn't care about myself at the moment. All I cared about was Drei. The doctor suddenly walked through the doors. "We've stabilised his vitals, you can go see him again." He says.

I get to the room and see Drei laying in the bed. Annie had to go home since she had to get some rest. She's been here all night. I walked over to Drei and sat by his side. "Drei, if you can hear me, you need to listen carefully. You can't leave me, I need you, you brought sunshine to my life, you gave me reason to believe in life again, you can't do all that, and just die on me. I won't let you." I say as I feel the tears rolling down my face. "Drei, please I need you, I want you, I love you." I sob.

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Annie walks in and sees me by his side, "it all going to be okay." She says. I can't believe that, not when the man I love is laying here,unconscious, refusing to wake up. I looked up at Annie, and saw her eyes glistening. She was trying to be strong, but in this moment she didn't need to be strong, her son was laying here. She needed to show her emotions, anyone would understand why she's crying.

I was deep in thought, looking back on all the times me and Drei were together. I was Happy every time I was with him. I was pulled out of my thought by the machine making a loud noise. I went over to the machine to see that his heart rate in no longer there. The machine Flatlined. I felt my heart shatter at the sight. "No, please." I cry. "Please help him" I scream. I look over to Annie who is holding her mouth, trying to muffle her cries. The doctors come running in and order us to get out of the room.

We sat in the waiting Area,  both Annie and I are in tears. The doctor walks out if the room and makes his way to us. The look on his face said it all. "I'm sorry, we've done all we could. Your son has passed away." He say with a sympathetic look on his face. I feel my knees give in and the doctor catches me. "No, no, no, no." I say as I cry. I look over to Annie and see her crying.

We make our way back into the room and see his lifeless body, just laying there. "Annie, I'm so sorry." I sob as I hug Annie. She gives me a tight hug and says nothing. I can feel my shirt being drowned in her tears. I don't care. She just lost her son. I just lost the love of my life. We both couldn't control our emotions. We eventually let go of one another. Annie kisses his forehead and makes her way out of the room.

I stand there, staring at his corpse. I fall besides his bed onto my knees. " "Why are you leaving me? Drei, you meant the world to me. I love you. I'll never stop loving you. How am I supposed to continue here without you? I hate you for leaving me. What did I do to deserve this? Why can u never just be happy. My happiness always gets stripped away from me!" I sob. I hear the door open, I don't bother to see who it is though. "My child we need to leave. "Mom why can't I ever be happy." I ask her. "I don't have the answers to that my child, but I do know that God always makes a way. You will get through this." She says as she hugs me.

My mother and I eventually get home and immediately go to my room. I didn't want to speak to anybody. It feels like my heart has been ripped out of my chest. My body was in pain. Everything was just not right. I Shut the door behind me and immediately collapsed onto the floor. I could feel the panic Attack coming, even through all these emotions. The only person that could help me through it was Drei. And now he's not here. I need him. I feel my breaths getting heavier and my vision starts to blur. I gave into the panic attack, and let it consume me till I passed out.

I woke up, still on the floor. I got up but my knees didn't allow me to fully stand up. I fell to the ground once again. I forced myself to stand up and made my way to the bathroom. I looked myself in the mirror and saw what I looked like. My face had streaks from the tears. Skylar you need to be strong now. For him and for Annie. You can't be so fragile. It hurts yes, but you need to push through. I know it's going to be hard, but you have to. The sun will shine again. I wash my Face and dry it. My eyes were still puffy, but there was nothing I could do now.

I made my way to my bed, and threw myself on the bed. The sun will shine again. The sun will shine again. How will it shine again if my sunshine has died? I put on some YouTube, to try and muffle my thoughts. I couldn't fall asleep.

I made my way downstairs to make a cup of milk and cinnamon. I pit the mil in the microwave and started zoning out. I was interrupted by someone speaking to me. "My child, it going to be okay." My mom Says as she makes her way towards me. "It hurts mom." I sob. "I know, it will get better." She says. "Why do the people I love keep leaving me? am I bad luck to be around?" i ask. "No my son, you're a joy to have around, you bring the light into everyone's lives." My mother says assuringly. We stay like that for a few minutes before she gives me a sleeping tablet.

I made my way to the room and put on a YouTube video. I felt myself give in to the sleeping tablet. I don't know how I'm going to Cope. He was the only person that made me feel like myself. Now I need to crawl back into my shell and isolate myself from the world again. It's the only way that I can stop myself from getting hurt again.