If You Let Me

Fire and desire

Our trip flew past, and we were now spending our last day in Hawaii. Drei and I had grown closer over the last few days. Although, I still felt awkward around Noelle; I had to clear the Air. I searched around the house for her, and eventually found her by the pool.

"Noelle, can we talk?" I ask. "Sure baby." She says walking up to me, giving me a kiss. Where did THAT come from? Since when does she call me 'baby'? "Noelle." I say looking at her. "What's wrong?" She asks. "This needs to stop." I say pushing her off me. "Why? Aren't we happy together?" She asks sheepishly. "That's the thing. We aren't together." I say uncomfortably. "The truth is, I have feelings for someone else. And I feel like it's wrong of me to drag you along." I say honestly. " Who is this person? Is it Drei?" She asks. I nod my head in agreement. "I saw the way you look at him, like he's the most beautiful thing in the world. I wish you could've looked at me the same way." She says, clearly forcing a smile.

"I didn't want it to come this, I really did enjoy spending time with you." I say assuringly. "I hope we can still be friends?" I offer. "Oh Sky, we're always going to be friends. You're always going to be mine, I will do whatever it takes to keep it that way. We were made for one another, can't you see?" She says forcing herself on me. What is happening to her? "Noelle stop!" I demand as she tries to kiss my neck. "You will be mine Sky, one way or another." She says as she grins at me. I slowly back away, still confused about what had just happened.

I make my way into the house, I run to Jade's room to tell her what had just happened. I make my way in, I slam the door shut. I pace around the room, and Jade gives me a weird look. "She's crazy" I say pacing around the room. "Who are we speaking about?" She questions. "Noelle! I went over there to end, whatever it is that we had going, but she didn't want to. She told me that she'll do what ever It takes to keep me." I say, still pacing.

"She probably going to kill me" I say as I realise what's happening. She Psychotic. "Okay relax, maybe she just genuinely likes you?" She suggests. "Nope. You should be seen the look in her eyes. When she said whatever, she meant WHATEVER. I need a restraining order right?" I say, slightly panicking. "Sky, relax. The holiday's over anyway. You don't need to see her again after this." She states. "You're right." I say, as I slowly climb onto her bed.

I eventually forgot about the while Noelle situation, and I went to the beach. I wanted to have my last swim. I made my way into the water. The waves crashing onto my body, it felt so relaxing. I swam a bit more, before I went to sit on the beach and watch the sunset. I was just looking back on how much Fun I've had this week. We were all so happy. We went go karting, Ice skating, we went to the casino, watched movies, and overall just had fun. Everyone had the brightest smiles when we were together. I'm going to miss this.

I feel a tear roll down my face as I rember the reality that waits for me, once we return home. The fact that I knew I had to face my father again. Even if I didn't want to, I knew that some way, the universe would find a way to bring him back into my life.

My thought were interrupted by someone's voice speaking to me. " Are you okay?" Drei asks. "Yeah; I'm just thinking about what waits for me once we get home." I say looking at the sunset. "And what would that be?" He says as he sits down next to me. He positions my body, to face his. "Just family drama." I say. "Well, you know you can talk to me about it right?" He states. "I know." I say as I lay my head on his chest.

We sat there until the sun was completely gone. The sky was now filled with stars. I look at Drei, He's perfect, he deserves so much more than me, why is it that he wants me? "Drei." I say. "Yes?" He turns to me. "What do you see in me? I mean you can literally get with anyone, why did you choose me? I mean I don't have a nice body, my face has all different types of marks, why me?" I ask softly. "Because I don't look at those things. I look at your heart. I look at what type of person you are. I don't judge anyone based off their beauty. Some people have the prettiest faces, but the ugliest hearts. You just seem to have both a pretty face, and a pretty heart." He says as he starts smiling.

"I don't know if I'll be able to do this." I say honestly. " Where is this coming from?" He asks. My eyes start to tear up. I want this so bad, but for some reason, I don't know how to continue, yes, I want him, but at the same time I don't want to hurt him. "I don't think I'm ready." I say softly. "Its okay, I'll wait for you." He says assuringly. "But I can't let you do that, what if I never come around? And you end up passing up all your chances at happiness? I wouldn't be able to live with myself." I say as the tears threaten to escape.

"Skylar, I don't know what you want from me anymore, one moment you act as if I mean the most to you, and the next you tell me you don't know if you still want me." He says as he gets up. "Drei, please, I don't know what's wrong with me, but I can't let you leave me. I need you Drei." I say as the tears start falling down. " You see? That's where the problem lies. I don't want you to need me. I need you to want me. He says as he looks at me. I stay silent.

I don't know where this outburst of emotions came from, I guess it just feels like, I'll never get to have my perfect ending. And honestly I'm tired of it. I've dealt with this for way too long. Putting other people's need before my own. Always trying to please people. That got In the way of my happiness. It had me questioning every decision that I thought would benefit my own life. I suppressed my emotions all these times, I couldn't express it because it was a sign of weakness, well in the eyes of my father. I felt like my father gained more power over me every time he saw me cry. That's why I don't cry infront of people.

However, I've cried a few times infront of Drei, never once did he make me feel the way my father did, I mean, yes he was the cause for one of my outburst. That didn't mean anything to me though, he's shown to me that he's sorry. I felt safe around him. I felt okay when I was with him. So why did I still fell the need to pit up a facade for other people? You know what? Fuck it.

"I want you Drei. I've always wanted you, and I'm going to try and show you that I can become what you deserve." I say as he turns back towards me. He msfe his way over to me and our lips connected once again, this time we both didn't want this to end. This Time we weren't trying to hide it. It was reciprocated this time. Everything was different this time. I felt my stomach do a few flips. The Kiss was sending shockwaves down my spine, THIS was the kiss I wanted to experience with him. Not that kiss that we shared the first time. Fireworks were going off in my heart. My heart has won. I'm at peace. My body is at peace.

We eventually pulled out of the kiss and stared into each other's eyes. His were filled with so much fire and so much desire. One could easily see that he was genuinely happy. And then he did something that made fall to my knees. He smiled. That Beutiful smile, the one that has never left my mind. The one that made everything disappear for the moment.

We made our way back to the house, and started packing, so that we could go to the airport. I truly enjoyed my holiday. It was something special. I never want to loose this memories that were made here. Never.

We eventually got to the airport, and waited for our plane to depart. We made our way over to McDonald's before leaving, since we didn't want to buy those expensive snacks on the plane. The flight was once again empty, but I didn't dare sleep. What if Noelle decides to kill me in my sleep? I'm okay thanks. I just started enjoying life. Maybe if she came before I met Drei, I wouldn't have minded, but now? I don't feel the need to die anymore. There's just some days where it feels like everything just gets too much. It feels like I can't anymore. And I was scared that feeling was going to return once I get back home.

It broke my heart to know what's waiting for me once this plane lands. I felt a hand squeeze mine. I looked over to Drei and realised that I don't have to face this alone. I never had to. I just needed someone to show me that. The anxiety suddenly disappeared, when Drei rested his head on my shoulders. It made me feel safe. He was calming so much raging seas within me, and he doesn't even know. This makes me feel at peace. He is my peace.