With all the makeup retouching and pretending, it can't mask the heaviness in the air.
Everyone went back to their tables. Yeri was staring at me. I know she heard it already, and for the first time, she didn't ask anything. No questions and no unsolicited advice.
She just smiled warmly and tapped my chair, signaling me to sit closer to her. We just sat in each other's presence, not saying much. She helped me embrace this silence and pain.
The show resumed, and Jisoo disappeared from our table. I assumed she was consoling Seulgi.
I lost interest in finishing this event. I want to go home and cry so hard that I fall asleep from exhaustion.
Now I don't know how to tell this to Wendy—where to start or how it happened.
As the long minutes pass by, they are now announcing the winners in each category, and my heart is pounding. Now, on to the next category: Best Actress in a Drama Series.
The storm that happened backstage and the anticipation for the winner announcement is playing a fight-or-flight game in my brain, and it's just too much.
And there it is...
They called my name!
My name! Best Actress in a Drama Series!
I looked stunned as the cameras captured my astonished face. I stood up, fixed my white cold-shoulder sundress, and started to walk up the stage.
Their roaring applause grew louder as my heartbeat faster.
I told myself, 'I'm an actress, I can pull this off, right?'
With a genuine smile, I thanked our lovely team and management, but it felt incomplete. I have this award made of bronze and gold with a marble base, but the person I wanted to celebrate with was hysterically crying backstage over me.
I am surrounded, but I feel isolated. No cheers could make this limbo tolerable, but I am grateful. I am grateful for the standing ovation, the thunderous cheers, and the recognition.
The whole world is watching, but all I can think of is... 'I wonder if Seulgi is watching. I wonder if she's proud.'
And so, I did cry when I got home.
I cried myself to sleep.
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Brighter Than My Porch Light
FanfictionFalling in love provides a sense of purpose and happiness, but Irene keeps losing hers. Her pain intensifies to the point that it radiates down her heart and into her inner soul. There are times it gets so bad that she wants to rip her heart out, qu...
