Brighter Than My Porch Light

Falling in Love With a Familiar Melody

The award show is about to start, and backstage is chaotic, with everyone scrambling outside and running here and there.

In the hallway, I bumped into Jennie, who was consulting the production crew about her solo performance.

She graciously smiled and said, "Hi!"

"Hi! Nice dress. Oh, you look majestic!" I complimented, admiring her attire from head to toe.

She playfully showed off her dress by spinning halfway. It's a red, sparkly sequined dress with long satin gloves, exuding a fresh and elegant vibe.

I looked over at the production crew, who seemed deep in discussion with her manager.

"You know, technical issues," she said, waving her hand mid-air, dismissing their commotion. "Anyway... how have you been?" She shifted the focus to me and gently rubbed my arm.

"Hmm, good, same old bananas. A whirlwind of happiness and stress," I quipped.

"How about you? I heard about your new album and... you and Lisa," I added, giving her a mischievous smile, inviting her to fill in the blanks between my pauses and subtle tease.

She bows her head and bites her lower lip to stifle her laughter.

"Haha, yeah, yeah. I know, I know. Your instincts were right, blah blah, me, and Lisa," she jests, slightly bobbing her head from side to side.

I lean on one leg, cross my arms, and wait for her to spill the beans.

"Sometimes we're just too blinded to see that the thing we've been praying for is already in front of us, if only we look intently and carefully," she shares her insights, trying to piece them together.

She was tongue-tied at first, blushing and shy, but when she finally found the words, she excitedly explained.

"It's like the sugarless strawberry pie in your fridge that you've been intentionally skipping because you want something sweeter. But one day, you notice it looks scrumptious... So, you take a bite and have an epiphany that it's the healthiest, most delicious, and flavorful pie you've ever tasted. Something you never thought you needed... Ahh, I'm being cheesy now," Jennie laughs.

I nod and laugh along with amusement, implying I'm invested and happy for her. She hits the nail on the head: if you don't listen to the universe, it will shove it down your throat.

"Hey... don't be so cleverly scornful in case it happens to you, haha," she smiles, waving her finger at me like a warning.

"Oh, hey, I didn't say anything. Haha, the way she treats you, she's everything you've ever needed. I get it. The intention of feeling carefree and stress-free. I get it, okay? Haha," I laughed out loud, raising my palms in the air in a surrender gesture.

"It's like you and Seulgi," she pointed at me. "Me and Seulgi?" I asked in surprise.

"Well, when our relationship started to dwindle, I thought, I can't give you what you need... but Seulgi can," she gave a slight pause in the conversation, allowing me space to understand what she was saying, but I'm just lost.

"But what do you mean..." I was interrupted by her manager calling her across the hallway.

"It's like when you..." Jennie said while trying to carry the end of the dress, then continued, "... were jealous of Lisa. Your hunch was right. You can't give me what I need... but Lisa can," and she rushed away.

Hold on. She knew? She knew?

"How did you know?" I yelled from a short distance.

"Seulgi told me before we broke up," Jennie exclaimed.

"Break a leg!" I quickly waved goodbye. "Haha, thank you! See you out there!" And off she goes.

My mind is shrouded in chaos and questions.

Seulgi told Jennie while we were still together... and I just found out now.

Isn't that a betrayal of trust? Isn't that the basic principle of friendship?

Was that the reason Jennie got upset? Was Lisa mad at me? Was I the laughingstock then?

Why does everyone keep mentioning Seulgi? I wonder if she's okay?

The questions run deep.

I don't like people trying to meddle with my relationship. People can rant and whine about their relationships, but it doesn't mean others should dive in and fix the issue for them.

They're family and friends who love us and give advice, but they're still bystanders who are not directly involved.

And Seulgi has known my perspective on relationships for years.

I called Wendy and updated her before going to the spotlight outside.