Brighter Than My Porch Light

Memories Run Deep

I went to work looking disheveled. I even parked my car in the wrong spot. I was steps away when I realized it, so I had to go back.

I got my folders, blazer, tumbler, and two heavy bags. My eye bags are screaming as my pores break apart. I'm thankful for talented makeup artists who can blush away stress and contour the pain away.

Lisa parked her car adjacent to mine. I forgot she's driving a Range Rover Sport. We used it for road trips before, with Jennie and Seulgi, when everyone was younger and had plenty of free time.

Lisa is the sweetest person I've ever met. She hugged me the moment she got out of her car. I struggled to hug back with my stuff in my hands, so I used my head to lean over.

I was checking out her car, and she said, "Jennie wants it pink, haha, so..." She laughed and gave an 'oh well' expression.

It's matte pink from the roof to the bumpers. I chuckled.

"Oh, it's still very nostalgic," I said, referring to our past road trips.

"Oh yeah... driving around town, going to the nearest lake for a picnic. We weren't always online or drowned with work, haha" She touched the surface of her car door, reminiscing.

"Life was more of an adventure, right? Biking around the block, playing board games... oh, those were the days." I described our bondings that faded. It's like walking down memory lane with Lisa today.

She gave me a nod with a sad smile while playing with her car key.

Technology has done many great things, but it has also taken some away. Our job provides food on the table, but it has also taken some of the sunshine from our lives.

We were more 'alive'  back then.

"We should do it again!" Lisa voiced happily. She's that bundle-of-joy friend who's quiet but never runs out of energy.

"But if... but only if everyone is ready and in a better state, of course." She decreased the volume of her excitement. She was referring to me and Seulgi.

"We will, haha," I nodded, smiling, and playfully bumped my shoulder against hers.

I hope we will again.

Lisa pointed at the stuff I was struggling to carry in my arms. She offered some help, and I gladly said yes.

"Heartbreaks, huh," Lisa whispered, giving me a sad smirk while reaching for my bags. I'm unsure why I have two bags; I feel disorganized lately.

"Is it too obvious?" I asked, standing in front of her while she tried to fix the strap of my bag on her shoulder.

"Yeah, kind of. You stopped replying to everyone, you show up at work looking like a mess, and you stay quiet in the corner... Yes, people talk." Her eyebrows raised while nodding nonstop, indicating that words and gossip spread fast and reached her and Jennie.

I felt like she wanted to ask further but thought it would be disrespectful of boundaries, so I proceeded to spill.

"I lost two. Seulgi drifted away, and Wendy and I... things were so bleak," I said, trying to find the correct term.

"Oh, if it's indifference, you know it's really over." She muttered; she starts to walk with me.

"I don't think Seulgi is floating away. Have you talked to her?" She quickly added.

I shook my head.

We walked towards the building entrance. She wanted to help me until I reached my floor and settled. She had a contract signing meeting below my floor.

"Wendy was almost the one, but we didn't listen to our intuition, and we wasted each other's time," I sighed deeply as we waited for the elevator.

"Not sure what else to say, but I know it gets easier the more time passes." Lisa gave me a warm smile.

After reaching my floor and settling and organizing my things, she gave me a goodbye hug. As she walked away, she turned around and said,

"Hey, call Seulgi. Maybe she's waiting for you. She didn't block you, I mean, come on, it's Seulgi, haha." 

Lisa laughed out loud, and she was right. Seulgi can't block anyone; she's too kind.