Drifting Through The Clouds

Chapter 46

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Chapter 46

Bea's POV

"Sayang naman, hindi mo in-invite si Darling."

I smiled at ate MG's remark. All of them were asking me earlier why I did not bring Cait with me, and I just lied. I still don't know how to tell them about us. Even Jema and ate Ella had no idea what happened after that night. We've had a three-day tour around Barcelona but ate Ly and ate Den wanted to extend the trip.

I don't have anyone waiting for me.. I don't have anyone to come home to.

"Baka makahabol pa si Cait. We can go to Amsterdam first and then go to Paris after para may partner si Bea."

I tapped ate Ella's shoulder. "I don't think she's gonna make it." I awkwardly explained, looking away for another white lie.

Ate Ella and Jema just looked at each other. We finished having our dinner and went back to our hotel rooms. Some of our team will be flying back to the Philippines early morning so they are busy packing their stuffs including my roommate.

"Sato-san, are you all good with your stuffs?" I asked as soon as I entered our room.

She smiled at me and gave me thumbs up. Three days with Risa made me forget temporarily the pain I have carried with me after Cait and I broke up. I enjoyed our time talking about her favourite places in Japan. I didn't know that she's really interesting and fun to talk to. Kapag napapansin niyang tumatahimik ako, she would just smile and tap my back tapos magkukwento ulit siya. I do really appreciate her simple gestures.

I honestly did not expect that Cait would actually agree for us to go on our separate ways. Pero it's what I want, right? Tingin ko rin na this is for the best. We already stopped growing around each other, we couldn't even talk about our issues comfortably anymore, we couldn't even handle our extreme emotions at all that lead us to hurting every damn time.

I hope I can say that it feels right. I truly loved Caitlin, and I still do. God knows I still love her the same even after what happened. It will never change.. My love for her will stay for the longest of time here in my heart, but there's still a part of me hopes that fate will bring us back together again someday just like the air eventually bringing the clouds together. I just want to heal my heart first. I just want to get over with the fear and trauma I have been through. Because that's the only way I can start to love myself and give the love she deserves again.

Hindi ko na nagawang sumama kina ate Ly para ihatid sa labas ng hotel ang mga kasama namin. I guess I just can't stand to see people leaving.

"One glass of Margarita, please." I ordered at the counter.

As soon as my drink is served, I started to take a sip. It's difficult to toughen yourself when all you want to do is break down. But if I do that, would it help me heal myself? I think not. Kaya kahit nahihirapan ako, pinipilit ko pa ring mag-enjoy.

"Uy, Bei!"

Mabilis akong napalingon kay Pangs na kasama rin si Momo. "Drink?" aya ko sa kanila.