Drifting Through The Clouds

Chapter 23

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Chapter 23

I asked Cait if we could talk and she gladly said yes. Ilang beses ko na bang inuulit-ulit sa isipan ko na kailangang ako na ang mag-adjust? She doesn't know what I feel for her. Kaya dapat ako na. Hell! She doesn't even know a thing! And even if she knows? I know it will just become complicated as it is. She's gonna drift away from me.

Sobrang self-pity na 'tong ginagawa natin, Bea..

"Cait, what do you think of Deanna?" I asked without hesitation. Napapansin ko kasi lagi, eh. The way she looks at Deanna, and the way she smiles at her or whenever they smile at each other, it feels suffocating when I watch them. Pero wala naman akong masamang intensyon sa pagtatanong nito, eh. I just want to protect them.

Huh? Bea? Really! Protect them or you're just being selfish? You're just threatened na malaman mo na Cait could fall for her! She doesn't smile at you like that and you're insecure.. and jealous!

I know that she didn't expect this kind of question from me. It's all written in her face. "Huh? What's with your question?"

I only stared at her while waiting for an answer from her and she did. "She's nice naman and caring like you."

What? Like me? With comparison talaga?

"Iyon lang?" I curiously asked.

"Oo naman. Bea, Deanna's a nice friend. At saka, bakit ba? Bakit mo ba tinatanong?"

Hindi na lang ako umimik. Sino ba namang aamin, 'di ba? Ako nga hindi makaamin sa nararamdaman ko sa kanya, eh. I don't want yo talk about this anymore. Wala rin namang patutunguhan. And I was about to end the conversation..

"Huy, Bea..Were you thinking na may something between Deanna and me?"

She gasped when she realized that what she's thinking is right. "Oh my gosh? Bei, nakalimutan mo na ba? I have a boyfriend. May boyfriend ako!" giit nito.

Shit! Ano nga bang pumasok sa ulo ko? I should've kept mum about it! "Alam ko.. It's just that.." nahihirapan kong pag-explain. Sige, lusutan mo 'yan ngayon!

"That?" she impatiently asked.. "Naiisip mo ba na niloloko ko si KR?" she continued asking with calmness in her voice.

Umiling ako bago tumingala sa kanya dahil nakaupo ako ngayon sa edge ng higaan namin and she remained standing in front of me. "Of course, not." Why would I ever dare think na niloloko mo siya when everyone knows how in love you are with him? You're not that kind of woman, Cait.

"Eh, ano nga?"

"Kasi.. you don't smile at me like how you smile at Deanna kanina. It made me uncomfortable." I bravely told her. It's not like I'm telling her that I love her, 'di ba?

Since, I am brave today might as well tell her what's on my mind right now, right? "I might be sound selfish but gusto ko sa akin ka lang ngingiti ng ganoon. I don't understand myself either. Ayoko naman sarilinin ka bilang kaibigan, Cait, but.. I get jealous every time someone gets your attention and make you smile." Sanay akong sa akin ka lang tumatawa at ngumingiti ng ganyan!