Pursuing from the Shore (Sun Rays Series #2)

CHAPTER 18

Trigger Warning: depictions of suicide and its aftermath. reader discretion is advised.

Chapter 18

Sinabi ko ang lahat ng nangyari kay Mama. I emptied out every detail of what happened, feeling the weight of Renzler's struggles as if they were my own too. Seeing Mama's tears, I couldn't help but share in her pain, wishing I could have been there to protect and watch over Renz myself.

I was blaming myself too. I couldn't help but to be bound by guilt because I was the one who's supposed to be there... yet I became reckless and I wasn't able to notice Renz had been suffering like that.

"Sorry, Renz..." Mama's voice trembled, trying to conceal her loud cry.

Binabantayan namin si Renz dito sa kuwarto niya. He's been sleeping for nine hours now. There has been no sign of him waking up since last night.

I find myself feeling agitated now to find a way to stop him from causing harm to himself again. Being responsible for everything feels like a weight on my chest. If anything bad happens to my twin... I'm afraid that the second half of myself would be ripped away.

"Mama, kailangan na natin siyang dalhin sa propesyonal, please," I desperately uttered, feeling a heavy lump in my throat.

"I know, Red... Pero kailangan muna n'yang gumising..." Hinaplos niya ang buhok ni Renz. "Pumasok ka na sa school, baka ma-late ka pa. Ako na ang bahala rito."

Umiling ako. "Ma, hindi. Dito lang ako, kailangan ko rin siyang bantayan."

"Red, hindi ko naman pababayaan ang kambal mo. Sige na, gumayak ka na," she insisted with her desperate eyes.

I didn't argue any longer as I nodded slowly. I just found myself heading out from Renzʼs room before prepping myself to go to school. I even completely forgot to eat breakfast, and I couldn't even focus on that. My thoughts are consumed with concern for Renz. Nothing else seems to matter right now more than him.

Binuksan ko ang phone ko para tignan ang mga messages na ngayon ko lang nakita. Including Davin's messages after the dinner with his parents.

Isa pa 'yon sa iniisip ko. Attorney Velazco's words totally caught me off guard, and I couldn't seem to digest what he meant. Just the thought and the mention of the name of the bastard man who tore our lives apart, especially Renz's, brings back an ember of my hatred towards him. Hinding-hindi ko siya mapapatawad.

"'Neng, ano ba! Huwag ko munang tumawid!"

Naramdaman ko na lang ang paghigit sa akin ng isang ale na pulubi kaya gumilid ako sa kalsada. My heart pounded in my chest as a horde of vehicles sped by on the highway, taking me unaware at edge.

How reckless of me. Sa dami kong iniisip ay hindi ko namalayang tatawid na ako ro'n.

"Thank you po. Pasensya na..." mahinang sabi ko sa ale.

Nang wala nang masyadong sasakyan ay tumawid na ako.

Mabilis lang akong nakarating sa school. Nang makapasok sa room, naabutan ko ang klase ng first period.

"Good morning, Red. Late ka ngayon, ah?" bati ni Asther.

"Uh, yes, may nangyari lang sa bahay," mahinang sagot ko. "Si Edo?"

He pouted. "Absent again."

He tilted his head while intently looking at me, as if observing my expressions so I quickly looked away and pretended to listen to our teacher.

"Nga pala, nagpunta si Davin dito kanina noong maagang-maaga pa. Hinahanap ka niya yata," he brought up.

"I'll let him know that I'm here."