LOVELORN

56|Unveiling & worries

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MY DAD had never expressed anything negative about queer people. We'd never discussed it much, but on the rare instances the topic had shown up, he had seemed supportive.

Regardless, there was a difference between your daughter having a girlfriend, and some person you had no close relationship to being queer. Realistically, I knew he would never hate me for liking women, but there had nevertheless been a nagging worry in my head the whole day.

Naya and I had decided the other day we'd tell him on Saturday. Well, Saturday had arrived and while I'd been a bit nervous the days leading up to it, today the worries settled deep in my brain. Every time I tried to open my mouth to start the conversation, I'd shift the topic and ramble about something else instead. Patiently, Naya would squeeze my hand and send me a reassuring smile every time I tried and failed.

She had stuck by my side the whole day, which wasn't unusual for us nowadays, but I'd been extra clingy today. We'd been home the whole Saturday watching shows, doing homework, and trying to work up my courage to go into my dad's room and just tell him.

"We can do it another day if you're not ready," Naya reminded me for probably the tenth time as we sat on our bed, our fingers intertwined.

"No, it's okay. I just need to snap out of this ridiculous anxious state. I feel silly, it's not like he'll care. Or at least I highly doubt he will," I said with a sigh.

She pecked my forehead and held the back of my neck, looking into my eyes. "It's perfectly normal to be nervous. You shouldn't feel ridiculous for it."

I fixed my gaze on her necklace. "Yeah. It's just that we're so close, he's been my rock my whole life and I don't want anything to compromise that. What if he sees me differently after?"

"It's okay to feel scared, but it'll be fine. I know it will be. I've never met as great a man as your dad, something like this would never damage your relationship."

After a tender kiss, Naya drew me into an embrace. My tense muscles relaxed, arms going around her waist, head finding the familiar place of her neck and breathing her in. She always smelled like home.

"You're probably right," I mumbled, suddenly feeling sleepy in her arms. "I could lowkey go for a nap right now."

"Do you want me to stay or...?"

I snorted and sent her a dumbfounded look. As if there would ever be a time I wanted her to leave. "Don't ask stupid questions. If I ever answer no to that, someone has possessed me and you should get an exorcist. How am I supposed to sleep without you? I've been spoiled, I need your presence now to sleep."

After kissing my cheek, her lips settled into a smile. It was a common occurrence nowadays to see her lips quirked up into a smile of joy or serenity. I savoured the sight of it every time, just as I drank in the sound of her bubbly laughter. Seeing her happier than ever brought me an inexplicable kind of bliss, warming some part of my soul that was reserved for her.

It filled me with so much gratitude to get to witness her grow, to be allowed such an intimate proximity to her thoughts throughout her journey. Naya had reaffirmed that she wanted me to support her, not to take the full weight of her emotional burdens. It was intrinsic for me to want to do so, but we were working toward forming a healthy bond. Part of that included learning how to accept that I couldn't heal all her wounds—all I could do was hold her hand and be there for her.