Chapter 18

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Bucks head was reeling from everything that has happened that night, from Shannon leaving Eddie to Tommy being an absolute asshole in front of friends to Eddie saying that he loved him. He wasn't sure what to make of that. Eddie didn't mean it, he was drunk and in his feelings. Buck hopes though, hopes that his best friend had meant the sentiment. He didn't want to dwell on it but he couldn't help it.

Buck rubs his palms against his knees and stands up, he walks out of his room and goes straight to Maddie's, doing the ridiculous knock that they had made up when they were kids, it just stuck. "Come in!" Maddie called.

Opening the door, Buck sees Maddie laying on her bed on her stomach, looking at her phone and- was she kicking her feet in the air like a teenager? She definitely was. "Are you talking to Chim?" Buck teases his sister and sits on the edge of her bed, playfully shoving her shoulder.

Maddie rolls her eyes and sets her phone down, a dopey smile on her face, cheeks flushing pink. She was clearly texting Chimney. "Maybe." She shrugs her shoulders. "What's up baby brother, how's Eddie?" She asks softly.

It was Bucks turn to shrug his shoulders because he really doesn't know. Eddie was good at hiding his feelings for the most part and Buck hated it. "I don't know, he's pretty upset and really drunk." He sighs heavily. "He told me he loved me."

Maddie's eyes widen and in the blink of an eye she's sitting cross legged next to Buck. "Are you serious?" She asks and that emits an eye roll from her brother.

"No Maddie, I made it up." He mumbles sarcastically and the woman shoves him, almost hard enough that he falls off the bed. "That's not very nice. I'm having a crisis and you almost made me fall off the bed."

Maddie shakes her head and glares at him playfully. "You deserved it, now continue please. Eddie said he loved you?" She asks, still not believing the words that came out of her brother's mouth.

"Yep." The man sighs, popping the 'p'. "He was drunk and upset so he probably didn't mean it. But Maddie, is it so wrong to hope that he did? I mean, when I was in El Paso he said and I quote "I think I love you." And then something about having Shannon and Christopher. Like, what does that even mean?" Buck said, exasperated.

"I think you two need to have an adult conversation, just not now since he's dealing with Shannon leaving." His sister points out. "Also, what the fuck was up with Tommy tonight? I thought he was a decent guy, but from what I heard that happened tonight, I'm not sure I like him anymore."

Buck groans and puts his head in his hands. The whole Tommy thing came back to his mind when Maddie brought it up. "I don't know Mads, he was drunk and apparently me talking to Eddie upset him."

"Yeah, no. You are not going to excuse his behavior because he was drunk. It was ridiculous and wrong, Buck." The older sibling shoots him a look that tells him she's being serious. "I love you and I'm going to protect you if I can, okay? Tommy said some shit and it wasn't okay." She continues. "He called you the name that literally nobody calls you anymore and I think I speak for all of us when I say we wanted to punch him right there."

"But he doesn't know why I don't want to be called Evan, why I prefer to be called Buck." The man cries, laying back on his sister's bed. He was frustrated, he thought Tommy had liked him but it was just a ploy. He had told the older man twice before that he wasn't interested in anything sexual yet, and that he didn't want to explain it, yet the man kept asking. "But it doesn't matter, I know. He shouldn't have said it. I probably won't be seeing him anymore anyway. I just thought he'd help me get over Eddie honestly."

Maddie's facial expressions go from angry to soft in a matter of seconds and she nods in understanding. "I've got your back baby brother, I always have and always will. Now while we're on the topic of Eddie again, you should invite him to LA, to visit or to stay." And that's got buck sitting up, raising an eyebrow at the woman. "Shannon's gone and he doesn't have much of a relationship with his parents right?" Buck just nods slowly as if to tell his sister to continue. "He needs a support system, Buck, and we could be that for him. You could be that for him."

"He'd probably laugh in my face if I asked him to move to LA." Buck mumbles, rubbing his hand down his face. "Plus, that's a big move for a four year old. And where would they stay while he's looking for a place?" He questions.

"He could stay here, Buck, him and Christopher are always welcome here. We'd make it work somehow. Just think about it, yeah?" She pleads, giving her brother her best puppy dog eyes and Buck groans audibly, catching it out of the corner of his eye. "Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go back to googling at chimneys dumb jokes like a schoolgirl."

"Yeah, I'm out of here." Buck fake gags and gets up off the bed, laughing at his sister. "Night Maddie, I love you."

Maddie smiles at her brother. "I love you too Buck." And with that Buck leaves the room and goes back to his, being left alone with his thoughts once again.

—-

Eddie woke up to Christopher crawling into bed with him early the next morning, the boy snuggling up to his dad. "Where's mommy?" He whispers and Eddie groans, both from the hangover and the fact that he forgot his son was most likely going to ask questions once he realized something was going on, the kid was smart.

The man wasn't sure what to say to his son, he didn't want to hurt him. "She had to take a trip." He lies and Christopher just nods accepting the answer. Eddie lies there cuddling his son for about half an hour before deciding he couldn't go back to sleep.

The man vaguely remembers his conversation with his best friend the night before, shit- he told him he loved him. Eddie hoped that Buck didn't hear it and if he did, he hoped he wouldn't bring it up when they talked next, which was bound to happen.

Eddie was lost, he wasn't quite sure how to navigate parenthood without Shannon but he was going to try his best for the little boy who was asleep next to him. Grabbing his phone, Eddie snaps a picture of a sleeping Christopher and absentmindedly sends it to Buck.

Almost instantly his phone dings.

Buck: My boy.

Buck: how's he doing?

Eddie's heart skipped a beat at that, his boy? He's never heard his friend refer to his son as that and he wasn't going to correct him.

Eddie: Why are you up so early?

Eddie: I don't know. He came in asking where mommy was and I lied saying that she had to take a trip.

Buck: because I have too much on my mind and can't sleep.

Buck: technically you didn't lie Eddie, she did take a trip.

Eddie: wanna talk about it? I could use a distraction.

Buck: Not really, no. I talked to Maddie about it last night. Just boyfriend troubles.

Eddie frowned at that. He wished Buck would talk to him, like he would've when they were teenagers.

Eddie: Oh, well I'm here if you need.

Buck: Thanks Eddie. I'm here for you too, always.

And without even thinking Eddie sends another text, the thought crosses his mind a couple times.

Eddie: Can Chris and I come to visit you and Maddie?

Eddie: We sure could use some time with our favorite person.

Eddie: And you can show Chris the firehouse, he'd love that.

Buck: Of course, you two are always welcome here. Just let me know when so I can let Maddie know and we can get things settled here for you two.

Eddie: Great, I'll let you know in the next couple of days.

Eddie sets his phone down and sighs quietly, glancing at his son. "I love you Mijo, and I'm going to do the best I can at raising you. But I'm going to need some help." He whispers, pressing a kiss to the boy's curls. Maybe Buck and Maddie could help him. He wondered if they'd be willing to, but that was a conversation he wanted to have in person, when they visited.

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