Lost and Found || Buddie

Chapter 10

It had been a month since Shannon found out Buck's feelings about her husband and things weren't awkward between them. Instead it actually brought them closer somehow. The two did everything together, much like Eddie and Buck did when they two were together, only Buck didn't have feelings for Shannon, that was the only difference. Whenever Eddie would call, Buck gave Shannon and Christopher their privacy to talk to him but Shannon also gave Buck privacy to talk to him as well, giving him knowing looks.

Today, Maddie was at the Diaz apartment for dinner with Buck, Christopher and Shannon. The two women were left alone in the kitchen while Buck had Christopher outside, the man stating they had a scavenger hunt to go do. "How's he been?" Maddie asks Shannon, referring to her brother. She hadn't been able to talk to him much lately, her work schedule was packed.

"He's been doing good actually. I think therapy's helping and I honestly think the bond he has with Christopher helps a lot too." Shannon smiles fondly. "Eddie was right. He had said before Buck was found that him and Christopher would be close."

Smiling widely, Maddie leans forward in her chair at the table, watching as Shannon put the finishing touches on dinner. "I'm glad. He's really good with him." She says. "Have you two talked anymore about his feelings?"

Shannon shrugs her shoulders, putting a pan of lasagna in the middle of the table. "What's there to talk about?"

"Um, maybe the fact that he's got feelings for the man that you're married to?" Maddie points out, raising an eyebrow at the other woman. "It doesn't bother you at all?"

"No Maddie, it doesn't. Maybe it would have years ago, I've seen the way Buck looks at Eddie and that should be a problem, but it's not. I've also seen the way Eddie looks at Buck and the way he talks about him like he hung the moon and stars." Shannon stops, looking at Maddie before continuing. "Eddies never said it out loud before, but I think the feelings are reciprocated."

Maddie's jaw drops and she's speechless, had she heard the other woman correctly. Before she could ask, the door opened and in came buck and Christopher, the four year old giggling away. "Something smells great in here." The man smiles and walks into the kitchen. "Everything okay? Why does it look like you've been given very shocking news?" He questions, pointing at his sister.

"Nothing Buck, it's okay." She smiles and gives Shannon a look as to say they'd finish their conversation later, but they never did. After dinner Maddie had to rush off as she was on call at the hospital and they needed her.

Once everything was cleaned up, Shannon picked up Christopher and turned to Buck who was walking to the living room. "I'm going to put Christopher to bed, and then we can watch more of Grey's anatomy." She smiles at him.

And normally the man would be down for that but he looked at the time and frowned. "I've got an early shift at the cafe in the morning. We can watch tomorrow?" He offers, and the woman nods.

"Of course. Sorry I kind of forgot you're working now." She laughs softly. "Well, goodnight Buck. Don't forget Eddie is supposed to call tomorrow."

But Buck doesn't forget, he never forgets. He looks forward to the calls from his best friend. Shannon keeps telling him he should bring up his feelings and he just can't. He couldn't do that, especially not over the phone, not ever.

"Hey Buck." Eddie's smile could be heard through the phone as Shannon handed it to Buck and left the room, letting him have some privacy. "Shannon says you're doing good, says you've got a job now?"

"Yeah, I'm doing better." Buck hums and sighs softly. "It's nothing spectacular but it puts some money into my pockets I guess. I've actually been thinking about becoming a firefighter." He speaks. He hadn't brought it up to Shannon because he wasn't entirely sure yet, he wanted his best friend's opinion before he did anything drastic.

"A firefighter? Buck that's-" the older man stops mid sentence and Buck thinks the phone died. "That's awesome, I think you'd be good at it. I'm proud of you, yknow?"

Buck's heart swelled with happiness. He hasn't had many people say they were proud of him. He thinks Maddie was the only one until this point. "Thanks. I guess that helped me make my decision. I thought you were going to tell me it was dumb." He laughs softly.

"Absolutely not Buck. But hey, I've got to go. I really am glad you're doing okay." Eddie tells him.

"Okay. I love you Eds." He blurts out and it's silent for a minute before the line goes dead. Buck wasn't sure that Eddie had heard him, he hoped he hadn't. He had no idea why it slipped out but he did. The two had never really been the kind of friends to say that to each other.

"Fuck." Buck breathes and walks into the kitchen where Shannon was, handing her back the phone.

"Everything okay?" She asks, raising an eyebrow and Buck just nods, and Shannon knows better than to push.

Everything was indeed not okay because the next time Eddie calls, he hangs up before Buck gets a chance to talk to him, and okay, maybe he was busy. But that most likely wasn't the case when it happened the next two times.

"What's going on between you and Eddie?" Shannon asks, grabbing the remote from Buck's hand and switching the tv off. "He refuses to talk to you and I've never known him to not want to. He doesn't even ask about you and I can't even say your name without him changing the subject."

Buck could lie to her and tell her everything was fine, that nothing was going on between the two men but he knew she would see right through him. "The last time I talked to him, I kind of said 'I love you' and I was hoping he didn't hear me but I guess he did. That's probably why he's ignoring me." He mutters, looking down at his hands that were resting in his lap. "This is exactly why i didn't want to say anything, because it would fuck shit up." He laughs bitterly.

The look on Shannon's face softened. "Oh Buck." She says and sits next to him. "He'll come around. I don't think you fucked anything up." She says.

Buck just shrugs and changes the subject. "You know how I told you I joined the fire academy? I graduate soon and I've already got a couple offers." He says.

"Yeah? That's awesome, Buck." She doesn't mention the change in subject. "Anywhere cool?"

"I've got offers for the 126 in Austin and the 118 in LA. And even the station here." He starts. "And I think I've made my decision."

"You're staying in Texas right?" Shannon asks, a worried look on her face. "You're gonna take the offer here." She laughs at herself for thinking that he'd leave Christopher.

"Actually, I've decided to go to LA. I'm going to join the 118. But I'll be back to visit and I'll call you and Christopher daily if I can." Buck explains. "I just, I need to get out of El Paso, out of Texas." He sighs. "And Maddie is coming with me."

Shannon understands but a part of her is upset. "Oh, alright. I guess I can understand that." She says and stands up from her spot on the couch, tears filling her eyes. "So Christopher and I are going to be alone again." She chokes and Buck feels horrible.

"Maybe when Eddie comes back you guys can move to LA too and we can all be together again?" He suggests and Shannon laughs Wetly, shaking her head before walking down the hallway.

The next few months are slow and Buck can't hide his anticipation for the move he and Maddie are about to make. "We're going to miss you, you know that right?" Shannon asks the two.

"I know. I'm gonna miss you too. But I need this." Buck says softly. "Give Eddie my new phone number in case he decides he wants to start talking to me again, but I won't hold my breath."

Shannon nods and pulls Buck into a bone crushing hug. "Don't forget to call."

"I won't. And you," he says, kneeling down so that he was on Christopher's level. "I'm going to miss you the most. But don't worry, I'll come visit when I can." He pulls Christopher into a hug and he can't help that the tears fall down his face.

It hurt to say goodbye to the little boy but he knew he'd see him again, or at least he'd hoped.