Refined Ingracia

Kabanata 38

Truth

Williams heavy arms weighed on my stomach as I was struggling to escape from him.
He is a light sleeper so I know he is awake but doesn't want to get up. I poked his arms several times and there was no response.

We're lying on the small single sofa so we're pretty close together. He was on the front if I pushed, he'll fall down. Last night after giving a breastfed to my babies I'm too sleepy to go back to bed, I close my eyes after and when I wake up and it's like this now.

I have a bit of space so I can move so I'm sure half of his body hangs on. Gosh how can he sleep in his state.

I woke not because it was morning but because it wasn't comfortable. My knees are folded just like a fetus and his. How possible as big as him fits with me here.

I glanced at the clock past ten of three o'clock.

I feel his hot breathing in my nose. That's how close we are.

Reluctantly, William releases his hold.

"Why, they are asleep?" He answered with his husky voice in the morning.

I offered my hand and William quickly took it and intertwined with mine.

I was showing him to get up but?

I roll up my eyes, so very of him.

"Are you not tired with your position?" While i rub my thumb over his skin. He looked at me lovingly.

"Let's go back to bed then, I can't sleep there without you." His lips pull up in a faint smile. He is sleepy.

I stared at nothing as I sighed.

William said he loved me. He proved that many times. And I believe him. But there was still part of me feared of what would happen if everytime he was away and an accident happened again, what if when I experienced next time is with my children. I feared that on my chest. I don't think I can accept it if bad things happen to my babies I might die before I accept that. I imagine such a scenario in my head and my heart is tight with pain.

I am not quick to respond to him this time because I want to ask him, that question remains unanswered.

"When are you going to tell me what really happened on your business trip." I started to ask him.

Hmmm. He groaned and closed his eyes.

"A month William? You didn't tell me." I ask near a whisper.

I find myself staring at his chest where my head leans on where I shuffle in another breath.

"You didn't ask either." He says it wasn't a big deal.

This is the reason why I had my early birthing with our children. Did he ignore that fact? I think a part of my sanity had slipped into chaos.

I kicked his foot instead he laughed. He knows that I am dead serious asking.

"What really happened?" I sternly ask.

"Don't laugh after you hear this." He whispered after a moment.

Is this some kind of a joke?

He looks into my eyes, and the emotion of him that I was looking for he showed to me, "i am so angry to all of them, how the fuck they trust that without prior investigation first and I can't believe dad takes that easy, I am not forgiving him. He is getting lousy with his people."

He continues in a deadpan. He looks too ecstatic about it and he sighs.

"It was a five year old kid, hacking international code security."