Refined Ingracia

Kabanata 38

Truth

Williams heavy arms weighed on my stomach as I was struggling to escape from him.
He is a light sleeper so I know he was awake but don't want to get up. I poked his arms several times and there was no response.

We're lying on the small single sofa so we're pretty close together. He was on the front if I pushed, he'll fall down.

Last night after giving a breastfed to my babies I'm too sleepy to go back to bed, I close my eyes after and when I wake up and it's like this now.

I have a bit of space so I can move a little  I'm sure half of his body hangs on. Gosh how can he sleep in his state.

I woke not because it was morning but because it wasn't comfortable. My knees are folded just like a fetus and his. How possible as big as him fits with me here.

I glanced at the clock past ten of three o'clock in the morning.

I feel his hot breathing in my nose. That's how close we are.

Reluctantly, William releases his hold.

"Why, they are asleep?" He answered with his husky voice in the morning.

I offered my hand and William quickly took it and intertwined with mine.

I was showing him to get up not to..

I roll up my eyes, so clingy of him.

"Aren't you tired with your position?" While i rub my thumb over his skin. He looked at me lovingly.

"Let's go back to bed then, I can't sleep there without you." His lips pull up in a faint smile. He is sleepy.

I stared at him.

William said he loved me. He proved that many times. And I believe him. But there was still part of me feared of what would happen if every time he was away and an accident happened again, what if  it with my children. I feared that on my chest. I don't think I can accept it if bad things happen to my babies I might die. I imagine such a scenario in my head and my heart is tight with pain.

I have doubt form in my head. What if..

"When are you going to tell me what really happened on your business trip." I started to ask him.

He groaned and closed his eyes.

"A month William? You didn't tell me." I ask near a whisper.

I find myself staring at his chest where my head leans on where I shuffle in another breath.

"You didn't ask either." He says it wasn't a big deal.

This is the reason why I had my early birthing with our children. Did he ignore that fact? I think a part of my sanity had slipped into chaos.

I kicked his foot instead he laughed. He knows that I am dead serious asking.

"What really happened?" I sternly ask.

"Don't laugh after you hear this." He whispered after a moment.

Is this some kind of a joke?

He looks into my eyes, and the emotion of him that I was looking for he showed to me, "i am so angry to all of them, how the fuck they trust that without prior investigation first and I can't believe dad takes that easy, I am not forgiving him. He is getting lousy with his people."

He continues in a deadpan. He looks too ecstatic about it and he sighs.

"It was a five year old kid, hacking international code security."