alive in hurt

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TW: Content is about self harm. Might be disturbing to some.

In the quiet of the night, I feel a need,
To cut the same spot, to make myself bleed.
A place on my skin where I find relief,
From the stress and numbness, from silent grief.

The pain is a friend, a way to feel,
A proof that I'm alive, that this is real.
Each cut, each tear, is a fleeting cry,
A reminder of why I do this.

The world feels distant, wrapped in fog,
But here, in pain, I touch the life within.
A mark, a story, a sign,
That I am here, that I can endure.

Though it hurts, it's a strange solace,
A way to find myself in this lonely space.
In the pain, there is a glimmer,
A sign of life within the dark.

So I return to that same place,
Finding comfort in pain's familiar face.
In each laceration, a whisper,
A reminder that I'm alive, that I can still feel.

***

PS: I don't know why I engage in sh, but it makes me feel...alive, real, almost. It's like I've lost the ability to feel anything else so I just convince myself that I'm alive by experiencing pain.
I hope that makes sense, lol.

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