Dive into Temptation [ManxBoy]

61. New Years Kiss

A/N: This chapter is kinda repetitive and needs some editing but it's decent enough to publish. Here you go.

~*~

I sank to the bottom of the pool, the water pressing in on me, the world above a distorted blur through the rippling surface. The only light came from the flickering evening lights around the pool, casting eerie shadows that danced in the water. Occasional blasts of New Year's Eve fireworks erupted in the sky, their vibrant colors piercing through the water and lighting up the underwater world in brief, brilliant flashes, each burst of light momentarily breaking the darkness with a dazzling array of colors.

For a fleeting moment, I felt a semblance of peace, a rare calm amidst the chaos that had recently consumed my life. An emotional void had carved itself into my chest, where anguish once raged, only a hollow numbness remained. Dominic was back to being his charming and playful self, acting as if nothing had happened—as if he hadn't raped me and then threatened to hurt Lily and the baby if I left him.

Thankfully, Dom had refrained from more violence since the incident in his office. I realized I was safe as long as he felt secure in my feelings for him, as feigned as they may be. It was only whenever Dominic's insecurities flared, whenever he sensed the slightest chance of losing me, that he seemed to unravel completely, losing himself entirely to violence.

I harbored a deep hatred for myself for staying with Dom even now. I knew I should just tell Lily what had happened and show her his threats, but fear paralyzed me. I had no idea how far Dom would go to keep me in his life. He had joked about wanting to keep a chain around my neck and lock me in a basement, and the terrifying part was that I now believed he was insane enough to do it. The thought of his threats against Lily and their unborn child left me nauseous with unease.

Plus, if I had to show Lily his threatening messages, I would also have to expose the flirtatious relationship Dom and I had over text. Some of my messages clearly shot Dom down, but others were teasing, playful, or even sexual in nature. The thought of her seeing how foolish I was to play along with him in such a way filled me with shame and regret. I couldn't bear the humiliation of revealing my own complicity in his twisted game, and Dominic had no qualms in reminding me of my own part in it all.

I had started to consider suicide more seriously after the initial idea crossed my mind. The thought of not existing was an alluring one and I longed to close my eyes once and for all, escape the torment, the endless deceit. If I took my own life, I'd never have to face the unbearable disappointment in Lily's eyes if she ever learned the truth. But I wasn't brave enough to follow through. The fear of pain loomed large, and I wanted an easy escape, but it seemed impossible without a gun.

In the past few weeks, I had felt an overwhelming sense of isolation, despite Dominic sneaking into my room every night. Being around Lily only amplified my loneliness. It felt like I was stranded in a void, with no one to lean on, no one who could possibly understand the torment I was enduring. The isolation was suffocating, especially in my self imposed exile as I did my best to avoid both Lily and Dom throughout the house. I was trapped in this endless cycle of solitude and secrecy, feeling utterly abandoned.

Life was agonizing without the lock on my door, leaving Dominic free to invade my room whenever he pleased. He was indifferent to my feeble attempts to push him away, though I rarely tried anymore, paralyzed by the fear of what might happen if I resisted again. I dreaded the thought of him forcing himself on me once more. So, most nights, I lay there, numb and hollow, as Dominic took what he wanted. Afterward, he would hold me while I cried, whispering empty apologies and making promises I knew he could never keep. The emptiness and betrayal clawed at my soul, leaving a constant despair and helplessness churning inside me.