new years day (a tayvis fanfiction)

therapy

travis kelce's pov

     i was trying to slowly creep out of bed without waking the sleeping princess next to me. i moved my arm from around her but she quickly grabbed it back and groaned.

     my every movement woke her. "stay, please." she whined. "princess i have practice." i muttered, even though in my mind i wanted to stay. recently she's been a lot happier. i don't want to leave her alone in hear with her thoughts.

     she tugged at my shirt attempting to pull me back into bed. "tay im sorry i really have to go. you and gracie could come and watch if you'd like?" i offered, though she never wants to come to practice with me. i know gracie would love it though because she gets to run around the field when we're done. and all my teammates love her.

      "i'm tired. please travis." she pleaded and looked at me with her captivating blue eyes. "taylor, i can't miss any more practice. please come with me, it will be fun." i placed a kiss on her forehead then helped her out of bed.

       she definitely wasn't happy about going but it would be better then sitting at home all day. i grabbed gracie and got her dressed then told her the surprise. "yay!" she squealed and went to go alert taylor.

     i followed after gracie to go check on taylor. she was sitting on the floor of our walk in closet. "baby? what are you doing?" i asked and crouched down next to her. "i have nothing to wear." she muttered and looked down.

      she had plenty to wear, a full closet full. i tried to pick her out an outfit but she turned down everything. eventually we settled on an old t shirt i gave her when we just started dating and a pair of jean shorts.

      gracie talked to herself the entire ride there. she's finally getting the hang of more words and im so proud. i was starting to think something was wrong.

      we arrived at the stadium and everyone was so surprised to see taylor. of course my coach gave me some shit for missing so many practices but i explained everything and he felt bad.

      gracie made sure she said hi to all my teammates, they adore her. i got taylor and gracie set up in a seat to watch. she still wasn't in a great mood but i was proud of her for going out.

      practice was coming to an end and i went to grab taylor and gracie so she could run around. i swear she never runs out of energy. "you okay?" i put my arm around taylor.

     "i'm fine, thanks for making me get up." she smiled and laid her head on my shoulder. we talked and watched gracie run around.

     she went up to coach reid and pointed and said "mustache!" and giggled. "guess what? your daddy has a mustache!" he pointed to me and the blonde toddler came running towards us.

      she couldn't stop giggling. "what's so funny?" taylor crouched down to get on her level. "daddy has mustache!" she laughed and pointed to me.

      we allowed her to run for a little while longer to get her energy out and hopefully take a nap when we get home.

taylor swift's pov

     i came home and put gracie down for a nap. i finally got some much needed quiet time. travis met me in the living room after his much needed shower.

      "taylor, what is going on?" he joined me on the couch and took my hand. "you were doing so well. what happened?" he asked. i didn't know what to say. i just sighed and looked down.

     "i can't stop thinking how it's all my fault! i should've stopped when i couldn't get pregnant because it was a sign. a sign telling me that it was all gonna go wrong and i didn't listen!" tears streamed down my cheeks. my shirt sleeves now soaked. travis still never let go of my hand. i just started panting, almost like i couldn't breathe.

     i felt like someone was closing my airway, i tried harder and harder to get a breath. my heart started pounding and my entire body was shaking.

     my mind started to picture what my life could've been like, two little girls running around. then i saw someone take aria away. i tried to scream but nothing came out. "taylor!" i heard travis's voice but it was muffled.

      eventually i could breathe again. i was still in shock from what happened. "travis.." his name escaping my mouth faintly. he rubbed circles on my back trying to calm me down. "what happened?" i looked around and became aware of my surroundings.

      "taylor you had a panic attack. but you're okay now. why don't you take a nap?" he offered and draped a fuzzy blanket over my limp body. my face still wet from the tears.

       "we will talk about it later. get some rest, tay." he kissed my forehead and went to get gracie.

     i woke up to see gracie sitting on the living room floor playing with some toys. she noticed i was awake and ran over to me. "mommy!" she laughed and tried to climb up. i helped her and sat up. "sad?" she asked and pointed to my puffy eyes and tear stained cheeks.

      "yeah, i guess mommy is sad." i played with her soft blonde curls. "i make you better!" she smiled and went to grab two ponies.

     she handed me the purple one and kept the pink as its her favorite color. we played for a while and she actually cheered me up. she can always make me forget about my problems.

     travis soon came in, "dinner's ready!" he shouted. gracie took my hand and guided me to the kitchen. i put her up in her high chair and travis set out the food.

      i picked at my food as i wasn't very hungry. "can we talk now?" he said. i looked up and gestured to the toddler next to us. "she's not listening. but tay, we have to talk about this."

      eventually i gave in. "has that ever happened before?" he asked and put his hand on top of mine. "a few times. mostly before or after tour. most recently, after the breakup." i mumbled the last part. i hate talking about anything that has to do with joe.

     "has it ever been that bad?" he kept asking questions, it felt a little invasive. "yeah.. the last one was really bad." i began picking at my food again. "tay, please hear me out okay. i want you to start looking into therapy. we can find a good therapist and-" he began rambling on. i cut him off before he could continue. "no! i'm not venting to a stranger! you are my boyfriend, you are supposed to be there for me!" i yelled and stormed off.

      obviously i didn't mean it. he is always there for me. but it feels like he's telling me he can't handle my problems or something. i've had plenty of panic attacks and i know how to deal with them, i don't need some stupid therapist telling me how to live me life..

authors note:

jeez tay he wants to help u. anyway do u think gracie was paying attention