new years day (a tayvis fanfiction)

please, ive been on my knees

taylor swift's pov

the silent awkward car ride back to the hotel made me feel all kinds of terrible. my face still puffy and damp from my tears.

i glanced over at travis, and saw a tear roll down his cheek. he never cries, at least not in front of me. the velvet ring box stuck out of pocket. looking at it, then at his defeated face felt like a knife to the heart.

he slammed the car door and walked towards the hotel without even looking back at me. i sped up and called for him. "travis?" i called. he didn't even look back. again i said his name.

"please i just want to talk." i said as the tears began to pour out. usually these are the words coming from his mouth, but this time it was me.

"what taylor? what could you possibly want? you've already humiliated me in front of millions of people. i love you okay? and i want to continue loving you for the rest of my life and that's not going to be possible if your okay with just casually dating even though im the father of your child." he yelled. it felt like a bullet hit me in the chest. i'd never thought about it like that.

he then turned away before i could say anything and ran towards the hotel. the small velvet box fell out of his pocket. i picked it up. it took a moment to open it, i was scared. i opened it and saw a gorgeous gold ring with a large gemstone and our lucky numbers, 13 and 87, carved on the inside.

i admired it for a moment before putting it back and slipping the box in my purse.

i walked in the room and saw travis sitting on the edge of the bed with his head in his hands. "travis. please let me explain."

he glanced up and subtly nodded. i began to pace around the room searching for the words to say.

"it's not you. it's not that i don't want to marry you. to be honest, im scared of the commitment that comes with marriage. i'm scared it means i'll have to throw my career away, throw everything i've ever worked for away. i love you travis. i'm sorry i did that in front of so many people. i was being selfish and i realize that now. i will make sure that video doesn't get out, okay?" i wiped the tears rolling down my cheeks.

    i walked over to the bed and set the velvet box down. "the ring is gorgeous." i muttered. "you think so? they didn't have many gold options." he chuckled. i then sat next to him and took his hand.

      we just sat there for a moment in silence, neither of us knowing what to say. "so, will you marry me?" he broke the silence. "yes." i smile. he proceeded to wipe the stray tears off my cheeks and our lips met.

     he slid the ring on my finger, it fit perfectly. before heading to sleep i made sure to call tree. "tree? i'm sorry it's late but this is really important. there's a video of something that happened tonight between travis and i and i need you to get them taken down." i sort of yelled.

      "yes, i've already seen it and contacted basically every news website." she replied, sounding tired. "thank you, you're truly a saint. also im getting married. anyway bye!" i laughed.

     "what? tay-" i hung up before she could continue. travis and i bursted out laughing. "i can't wait to tell my mom, she's going to pass out!" i giggled.

—————

     i ran towards the door of my moms house and walked in. "gracie!!" i yelled. the bouncy toddler came running in. "mommy!" she giggled and jumped into my arms. "i missed you so much sweet girl!" i attacked her with kisses.

     travis came in shortly after. "daddy!" she giggled and gestured for me to set her down. "come here munchkin!" he picked her up and spun her around. ever since we watched the wizard of oz, gracie was prominent that travis calls her munchkin.

     "nana make cookies!" she ran towards the kitchen and showed us the platter of sugar cookies decorated with pink icing and sprinkles. i brought my mom in for a hug before telling her the news.

     gracie went back in the living room to play and we thought it was time. "mom, we have to tell you something." i took travis's hand.

    she nodded and i showed her my hand. she saw the gorgeous ring and her jaw dropped. "taylor! you're getting married?" she hugged me tight. "shh, i don't want gracie to hear."

     "when are you going to tell her? taylor she's two i don't think she knows what marriage even is." she explained. "i know, but we're going to tell her when we're ready." i smiled.

     i know gracie doesn't understand, but she's starting pre school next year and we don't want her going around telling people before we do. we're not sure we're going to share it with the internet just yet, there's some things i like to keep private.

      "mommy! i color picture!" gracie yelled for me. "ooo, let me see my little artist." i sat on the floor next to her. "a strawberry!" she struggled to say the word but managed to get it out. "did nana give you some strawberries?" i asked and looked over to my mom. gracie nodded and started on another picture.

     i was petrified of gracie being allergic to something so we've been giving her new things slowly. i specifically told my mom to not give her anything new because god forbid she had an allergic reaction and i was on another continent.

     i spoke with my mom about it and somehow she didn't get why i was so upset. gracie has so many health concerns and i just want to be careful. am i being a helicopter parent? i could barely go four days without her.

    travis calmed me down after my slight disagreement with my mother. "i just don't want to lose her like aria.." i hadn't said her name in a while, it even surprised me. "i'm sorry, i shouldn't have said that." i laid down in travis's lap. he stroked my hair and calmed me down. "i love you tay."

authors note:

sorry i didn't update for so long ive been on vacation. this chapter was erm, something..