new years day (a tayvis fanfiction)

i gave so many signs

tw: vomit

taylor swift's pov

      i was staring at the wall, completely zoned out. "taylor?" tree asks. "sorry what?" i'm put back into reality.

       "we're ordering lunch, what do you want?" she asks. "mac and cheese. thank you!" my stomach growls at the thought of food. mac and cheese is the only thing i've wanted to eat for these past few weeks. gracie enjoys it so i don't see a problem.

       kylie is still the only person i've told. i don't know how it's going to go with travis. he was so happy last time, but that's because it was intentional. this time, neither of us are ready. a baby is going to totally blow things out of proportion.

      the food arrived and everyone was sitting around the table. "jeez tay you look like you've never eaten before." tree laughs. i'll admit i was eating pretty fast, but i was starving. those hours between breakfast and lunch feel like a lifetime.

     as i'm about to put another bite of mac and cheese in my mouth a feel a wave of nausea come on. i dropped the fork and bolted to the bathroom.

       as i emptied my contents into the toilet i heard tree come behind. "taylor what's going on?" she comes in to hold my hair back. "nothing, just not feeling good." i carefully stand up.

        "taylor if you weren't feeling well we could've rescheduled the meeting. i'm gonna call travis to come get you." she placed a hand on my back and smiled before leaving the bathroom.

       i placed my hand on the small bump forming on my stomach. "hey little one, you are really trying to blow my cover." i laughed.

       i gathered my things and met travis in the parking lot. "im sorry she made you come here." i stepped in the car.

       "it's okay. but are you getting sick often?" he asked. my face went pale. how does he know that? did kylie tell him? "it's just been a few days, i swear im fine."

       "well i said i was fine and look how i ended up." he gestured to the brace on his knee. "please don't worry about me. i'm okay." i smiled.

       i looked in the back to see a very grumpy toddler. "did you wake her up to put her in the car?" i ask. "well i had to!" he says.

       "if you picked her up gently enough, she would've stayed asleep." i tease.

when we arrived home i felt the wave of nausea again. i covered my mouth and tried to let it die down. "tay? are you okay?" travis put a hand on my back.

before i could even say no, it all came up. this time i didn't make it to the bathroom. i threw up all over the floor. i felt like such a child.

"i'm sorry.." the emotions started to get the best of me. tears welled up in my eyes as i looked up at travis. "tay it's not your fault, go lay down i'll clean it up." he helped me up.

i laid in bed when the door creaked open. i could tell it was travis by the footsteps. he climbed into bed next to me, "gorgeous, are you ready to tell me what's wrong?" he wrapped his arms around my waist.

"i'm pregnant.." i mumbled. he didn't react to i assumed he didn't hear me. "travis, im pregnant." i said a little louder. i then turned to face him. "really?" his face lit up.

"you're not angry?" i asked. "of course not, im so happy for you, for us." he pulls me in close and our lips meet. i'm so thankful kylie talked some sense into him, i don't know if i could do this alone.

        "i actually have an ultra sound tomorrow." i smile. "i can't wait." he places his hands on my belly. i giggle at the touch.

———————

at the hospital i impatiently waited for them to call my name. my leg was bouncing up and down and travis placed his hand on my thigh to calm down. "why are you so nervous princess?" he asks.

"trav, what if they don't find a heartbeat?" i say with my voice trembling. "don't think about that. im sure our little peanut is perfectly healthy." he somewhat calms my nerves.

the nurse calls my name and travis and i intertwine fingers as we follow her. i put the gown on like so many times before and sit on the table. i then put my feet up on the stirrups as they usually start with the cervical exam.

"looks like this isn't your first rodeo ms. swift." she chuckled. "nope, this is our third. i mean second. we had a miscarriage a few months ago." i explain. even though i can talk about it without crying, it still hurts to think about. "i'm so sorry." she touches my shoulder then starts the exam.

       soon it was time to see our little peanut for the first time. she placed the cool gel on my belly and the screen flickered to life.

        a smile appeared on my face when i saw the blob that was our baby. "i can't believe it." i squeezed travis' hand and smiled. "hi peanut." he laughed.

      "looks like your baby is nice and healthy with a steady heartbeat. would you like to hear it?" she smiled. i nodded and she handed me the stethoscope.

      hearing the heartbeat made everything so much more real. i held travis' hand and squealed in excitement. they then printed out the photos and sent us on our way.

        "i think i'm ready to tell gracie." i stare down at photos. such a cute little blob. "she's gonna be such a great big sister, i can feel it." he smiled at me.

       we got home and said goodbye to our nanny. she truly is great, and gracie loves her. i sat gracie down and told her we have some big news. she's still only two so it's hard to her to keep a secret or even understand what's going on.

       i handed her the strip of photos and she looked confused. i wasn't expecting any big reaction from that anyway. "there is a baby in mommy's belly, and that's the baby right there!" i point to the blob on the photo.

        "that not baby." she points. "right now the baby is so tiny that it just looks like a little blob, but soon the baby will grow and be big enough to come out." i take her tiny hands and place them on my belly.

      she's still not understanding, so i try something else. "gracie remember how baby aria was in my belly, and she didn't get big enough to come out?" she nodded.

      "well this time there is a new baby in there, and let's hope it gets big enough to come out. actually when you were born you weren't quite big enough but you came out anyway, but they saved you." i smile, realizing i had never told her that before. those first few months were scary, i wouldn't wish that on anyone. she underwent so many surgeries and i didn't know if she was gonna make it.

       she placed her hand on my belly and then kissed it. "baby." she giggled. "good job." i smiled and gave her a hug. "you're gonna be such a good big sister."

authors note

thank me guys i fixed them