Double The Love

Chapter Forty: Second Chance

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            "I'm sorry, Jordan." He said for the millionth time already.

I sighed as I continued to pace around the living room, "I know, Gio. I know your sorry." I replied as he sat on the couch with his hands on his head.

"Could you maybe please stop pacing?" He spoke desperately.

I closed my eyes and sighed again before I stopped pacing and took a seat next to him on the couch with a good distance between us.

After a beat of silence I finally spoke up. "How can I trust you again? This relationship won't work if I can't trust you and I'm struggling with that at the moment. How can I trust that you won't put our daughters or even me in danger again?" I said as my eyes began to shine with tears. It was almost painful to say those words out loud for him to hear and I know it hurt him to hear them.

Gio's pale face looked up at me with desperate eyes. He didn't look good. His eyes were bloodshot red and the bags underneath his eyes were prominent. You could tell he hasn't been eating or getting any sleep and I felt for him.

"No, Jordan. This is not the end for us. I know we haven't known one another or been together for long, but we've been together long enough for you to see that I love you and those kids more than life itself. I know I made a mistake and need to regain your trust again but I can't prove to you that I won't do it again if you don't give me the second chance to. I can promise you that it will never happen again." He spoke with determination.

I stayed quiet as I thought about what he said, looking down in my lap.

If you're wondering how we got here, it was because earlier tonight Gio had called me again and I had finally answered the phone after debating with myself. I knew in my heart that I had to hear him out, especially with my girls asking me to, so I cautiously agreed for him to come over, even though it was almost midnight. Over the past two and a half weeks of ignoring Gio and needing space, it's been really hard on me. I knew then that it was time to hash things out.

I love Gio, I really do but I just don't know if it's worth risking mine and daughters' lives for? My girls could've died or even something worse could've happened to them. I just don't know if I would be able to take that pain again. What makes this situation even more difficult is the fact that it could happen again because of what he does for a living.

His job is dangerous. Being a mafia Don screams danger, and if I were to be with him again I'm basically making my daughters a target and causing them to have a higher risk of getting hurt again or taken again.

I don't want to be the person to blame if something were to ever happen to them again because I had the option to stay away from Gio and didn't take it.

I love our daughters too much but I also really love Gio.

Am I a selfish person if I go back to him?