Two Years Ago...........
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"N-No. P-Please tell me that's not true." I cried to the doctor as he told me my devastating results. I had been waiting for these results for weeks and to finally hear them be the exact opposite of what I wanted was brutal.
"I'm sorry, Ms. Jenson. The results imply that you have ovarian reserve. To put it simply, the walls of your ovaries are going to severely struggle to hold onto an embryo and with your endometriosis mixed in with that, it will be very hard to conceive at all. There is nothing I can do to fix that. Again, I'm so sorry." He sighed sadly as he handed me tissues to blow and wipe my nose and eyes. After I finished making myself look halfway decent, I got up from his office chair and nodded at him in thanks before I made my way out the door and to my car.
So I just learned that I'm not biologically capable to carry any of my future kids. I am heartbroken. All I've ever wanted, since I was young was to be able to carry my own kids and have a family of my own but it looks like that won't be possible anymore.
As soon as I pulled up to the front door of my big ass house, I practically ran to my room and laid in the bed for hours; sobbing.
'What have I done to deserve this?' Was my last thought before I dosed off to sleep.
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It's been a couple of days since I found out I couldn't have kids. I told my mom about it last night and by the end of the conversation, she did make me feel better about myself and was very supportive of me. She even came over last night and made me chicken noodle soup and dumplings to cheer me up.
Mom and I have always had a close relationship. She's been so supportive of me since day one. As a kid, I was the exact opposite of everyone else. I was very reserved and introverted. By the time I got to middle school I fell in love with art, particularly painting. Painting gave me a way to express my emotions and my thoughts when I couldn't put it into words myself. When I got to high school, Mom quickly realized how advanced I was in my painting abilities and moved me to a private art school that focused on my main studies but also the things I was good at. That decision allowed me to explore my abilities to its fullest and later on, I got accepted to one of the top art schools in Italy with a full ride scholarship.
When I graduated college in Italy, I fell in love with the country and decided to move there permanently with my mom. My mother was a foster child so she doesn't have any other family. It's just her and I. If you're wondering about my father, I don't know much about him at all, just that he was also a foster kid and he fell in love with my mom at a young age. They got married, then later on they had me. He died when I was three so I don't necessarily remember him. Sometimes I miss him though.
Right now, I'm currently working in my art studio, like any other day, finishing a realism painting that a wealthy client of mine ordered not too long ago from me. This painting didn't take me long to do, maybe a week give or take. Though now I'm just doing finishing touches and adding small details to it.
After I finished art school, I had a huge number of satisfied clients. I had already left art school and was a well-known painter all around the world. Since my final project during my senior year, an art show that the school hosts for the students at the end of the school year, count as a grade, people—especially wealthy people—have been seeking to purchase my artwork. I've been an established artist and one of the best-selling painters in Italy and the US ever since that art exhibition. The crazy thing is that people, till this day, don't know what I look like. I have managed to stay hidden. Just how I like it. I don't won't all the attention on me, life is better normal. So even though I go by an alias, and live in a decent sized house—don't let that fool you because I am now a very wealthy woman.
I can't complain much because I couldn't be more grateful for all the opportunities I've been given and without my mom I wouldn't be where I am today.
Despite knowing that, I'm very much at the point where I just want a family. Not a man. A family. I'm not against dating or anything but I've been ready to have kids for a minute now. I'm a twenty five year old woman who can do it on her own. I want to call someone home. I want to give my unconditional love and care to another. To have a baby to call my own. I want to give them a life they deserve but after hearing the news today at my doctors appointment, all my hopes and dreams have gone down the drain—or that's what I thought anyway........
Turns out, I just had to be a little patient.
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