Chapter Forty-Seven: Why?

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A/N: I am not a doctor. Anything you read during this chapter is purely fictional and may not be accurate so keep that in mind. 

Continued....

Continued

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         I run out to my car with an unfamiliar quickness as I make the journey across town to the hospital cut in half, time-wise. My mind is racing all over the place, and I don't know how to feel or even what I'm feeling at the moment.

I'm afraid of the changes that I know are ahead and how they might impact our family. I'm scared that Jordan is worse off than the doctor told me and they just didn't want to tell me the truth about her current condition over the phone. Tears permanently roll down my face as I drive. It felt like I was underwater every time a fresh new batch formed, making everything become so blurry. Everything felt so real but so unreal.

Once I swiftly pulled up in the closest parking spot by the main entrance, I made sure to have a moment to myself. I took a few deep breaths and wiped my face free of tears as I knew how ridiculous I must've looked. I need to be strong for Jordan and especially strong for our girls as I know how much this is already affecting them. I don't like my father and the way he raised me but one thing that has always stuck to me, especially now that I have met Jordan and our daughters is when he once told me, "Il giorno in cui trovi l'unico e il giorno in cui hai figli, la tua vita non è più tua. Vivi per loro e solo per loro [The day you find the one and the day you have kids, your life is no longer yours anymore. You live for them and for them only]." I never truly understood what he meant by that but now as I take this moment alone in the car, it has finally hit me and now I understand. As a boy, I was taught not to feel but after I met my three girls, everything has changed so much—I have changed so much. Living for them is the only thing I desire to do now.

So for the sake of my family, I relax all the muscles in my face, just like I was taught. My face naturally becomes neutral as my eyes hardened with as much strength I could possibly muster up. I unbuckled my seatbelt, threw some sunglasses on to hide the redness and puffiness in my eyes and rushed inside to head straight to the receptionist desk.

There sat a typical young Italian woman at the front desk, typing on the computer in front of her as I approached."Ciao, mia moglie è stata portata dentro. Incidente d'auto [Hi, my wife was brought in earlier. Car crash]." I spoke bluntly.

The woman continued to type with her unnecessary long acrylic nails, paying no mind to me at all. "Yours and the patient's name?" She asked with a hint of annoyance in her tone as she smacked the gum she was chewing in her mouth.

I shook my head at her attitude; it took a lot for me to hold back. If it were any other day I would have killed her but today isn't about me and how I'm feeling so I decided, out of respect for my family, to keep calm and collected even though my anger was slowly rising at the woman before me. "Jordan Jenson, Sono [I'm] Giovanni Milani." I let her know as I took my sunglasses off and put them in my pocket.

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