REN and The Heartless Devil

CHAPTER XL

Hindi ko alam kung ilang oras na simula ng pumasok ako sa kwarto. After my outburst on his car wala ng nagsalita pa sa amin at hinatid na nya ako pauwi. My tears have been continuously flowing the moment I laid my back on my bed. Images of me and him together keep flashing on my head. Moments I can never experience again. After the numbness subsides, saka ko lang naramdaman yung sobrang lungkot. Ngayon ko lang nareliazed that he is forever gone. And he won't be coming back.

I was never afraid of dying but rather I am afraid of seeing death. Seeing someone important to me die. Ah! Ngayon pa lang miss na miss na kita Clay. Di ko man lang nasabi sayo na mahal na kita. I thought I've already learned my lesson. I should have told you how I feel. Regrets really come last as always. Why it has to be like this for me?

Yuri never confronted me about what happened last night. She knows me very well at times like this. She had seen the worst in me. Sya yung karamay ko noong namatay si Ken. At sya pa din ngayon. I hope this would be the last. Sobrang parusa naman yun pag may susunod pa.

"Gab, kakain na" I wiped my tears dry and composed myself. I don't want to be a burden to her. Alam kong sobrang nag-aalala na yan sa akin. I walked straight to the dining area pagkababa ko. She smiled at me and gestured for me to sit down. Lahat ng paborito ko nasa lamesa. I've always been like this before and Yuri is spoiling me every time. People lost their appetite when grieving  but not me. I need my strength and you'll know later why. 

"I've found three but those are just small rats but this could suffice your hunger for now" tumango lang ako sa sinabi nya. I can't wait for darkness to come. Killing, I need to kill to calm myself. I know people would think worst of me. A psycho killer, a murderer and a devil  but not Yuri. The whole world would turn their back on me but not her. Tanggap nya kung ano at sino ako. 

"I met the old Lombardini" she stop eating and look at me. "He's blaming me for Clay's death." Hindi ko alam kung ano bang nagawa kong mali simula nung bata pa ako. An unwanted daughter and a sister. My first love died tapos ngayon kung kelan nagmamahal na ako ulit saka naman kinuha sa akin. And what's worst is ako pa ang sinisisi. "Hindi ikaw ang kumidnap sa kapatid nya Gab at lalong hindi ikaw ang nagtanim ng bomba. Don't you dare believe him and blame yourself too. I would really hate you for the first time." her voice is fierce. I know she's not joking.

"That would be the last thing I would do, to make you hate me" I can't, hindi ko kaya na wala si Yuri. If it wasn't for her, siguro isa na ako sa mga pakawala sa Japan ngayon. I saw her smile, I may not be that showy towards her. But I would trade everything I have, even my life para sa kanya. At alam kong alam nya yun.

"Anong sinagot mo dun sa boss ng Black Death? Alam ko namang sumagot ka sa ugali mong yan." I swallow my food first before I answered her question. "Nothing, I just said that he's weak or rather men are weak" sabi ko and just shrug my shoulder. Now that I think about it, ang babaw ng argument na yun. I just lose my cool when he mentioned Clay.

"Ano? Kung ipapatay tayo nun!" she screeched natapon pa yung kinakain nya. "He had bigger problems Yuri he wouldn't waste his time over a small prey. If he meant to kill me you should be eating alone by now."  He had all the chance back there, but he didn't.