Afterlife members since the last incorrect quotes was kinda short
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Scott: Joel gave me a get better soon card.
Shelby: That's sweet!
Scott: I wasn't sick, they just think I can do better.
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Joel: *walks into the kitchen, ignoring everyone*
Sausage: Hey, Joel, how was your day?
Joel: *picks up an onion and bites into it, staring at Sausage* Hell.
Katherine, watching this unfold: *whispers* Who hurt you?
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Jimmy, walking into their house: Hello, people who do not live here.
Joel: Hey.
Scott: Hi.
Katherine: Hello.
Sausage: Hey!
Jimmy: I gave you the key to my place for emergencies only!
Lizzie: We were out of Doritos.
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Katherine: If you took a shot for every time you made a bad decision, how drunk would you be?
Lauren: Maybe a bit tipsy?
Oli: Drunk.
Scott: Wasted.
Fwhip: Dead.
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Lauren: Shelby, I am questioning your sanity...
Jimmy: I never questioned it, I knew their sanity was missing from the start.
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Shelby: Katherine is too tall for me to kiss them on the lips. What should I do?
Gem: Punch them in the stomach. Then, when they double over in pain, kiss them.
Oli: Tackle them!
Joey: Dump them.
Scott: Kick them in the shin!
Katherine: No to all of those! Just ask me to lean down!!
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Shelby: Do you know a turtles only weakness?
Joey: No... well, their slowness.
Shelby: Their weaknesss is they can't roll over when they are on their backs.
Shelby: Now I have a plan.
Shelby: If I duct tape two turtles together, they'll be unstoppable.
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Oli: Do you have any idea what you're doing?
Joel: Why start now?
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Joel: You say "Please" and "Thank you" in front of Shelby all the time, and they never repeat it.
Joel: But you call Lizzie "Ass-faced motherfucker" ONE TIME...
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Joel: If you were an ice cream flavour, what flavour would you be?
Jimmy: Vanilla.
Sausage: Vanilla?! You basic bitch!
Lizzie: If I was an ice cream flavour, I'd be pistachio!
Scott: Because nobody likes you?
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Sausage: *running towards Scott with open arms*
Scott: *moves out of the way*
Sausage: Hey, why'd you move?!
Scott: I thought you were going to attack me.
Sausage: I was going to hug you!
Scott: Why would you hug me?
Sausage: WHY WOULD I ATTACK YOU!?
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Oli, texting: Don't worry, I have your phone! Text me when you're gonna come get it!
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Scott: What starts with F and ends with Uck?
Oli: No it doesn't.
Joel: Firetruck!
Lizzie: FUCK!
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Lauren: Hey, do you know anyone who can teach me to play the trumpet?
Scott: Why?
Lauren: I want to wander around playing it to annoy Jimmy.
Scott: Technically, you don't actually need to know how to play the trumpet well for that.
Lauren: Scott, you have opened my eyes.
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Shelby: Hey, Scott? Can I get some dating advice?
Jimmy: Just because I'm with Scott doesn't mean I know how I did it.
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Scott: You can do it Jimmy!
Scott: But if you can't, at least your death will be quick, painless, and really cool to watch.
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Lizzie, T-posing in the doorway: Greetings, Katherine.
Katherine, not looking up from their coffee: Good morning, problem child.
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Lauren: When Joey has daiquiris they get really into how beautiful they are.
Joey: Hey, I dare you guys to dare us to make out.
Jimmy: Hey Joey, you know that's a mirror, right?
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Jimmy: Lizzie, let's go!
Lizzie: Oh, yeah, about telling Mom and Dad, I was thinking about writing maybe a letter.
Jimmy: Okay, you know what? That's it, you had your chance.
Lizzie: What-?
Jimmy: Mom, Dad, Lizzie smoked pot in college.
Lizzie: You are such a tattletale!
Lizzie: Mom, Dad, you remember that time you walked into my room and smelled marijuana? Well, I told you it was Fwhip who was smoking the pot but... It was me. I'm sorry.
Jimmy: And Dad, you know that mailman that you got fired? He didn't steal your Playboy's, Lizzie did.
Lizzie: Yeah, well, hurricane Gloria didn't break the porch swing Jimmy did.
Jimmy: Lizzie hasn't worked for a year!
Lizzie: Jimmy and Fwhip are living together!
Jimmy: Lizzie married Gem in Vegas and got divorced AGAIN!
Scott: I love Jacques Cousteau!
Gem:: I wasn't supposed to put beef in the trifle!
Joel:: I wanna gooo!!
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Scott: Jimmy, you know how much I love you...
Jimmy: Whaddya want?
Scott: A partner with some GODDAMN EMOTIONAL AVAILABILTY!
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There we have it, another oneshot will be up in a few hours
Happy reading lovelies!!
YOU ARE READING
MCYT Oneshots (Written by AI)
FanfictionIt's as the title says, this is written by AI, I feed it the prompts and it gives me stuff and I give it to you guys! I am open to suggestions. This will be ongoing, and I don't have an update schedule! Btw, literally just hermitcraft, the life seri...
