UNDER PRESSURE || HUENING KAI

11. When Worlds Collide!

Y/N —

"Y/N, did you have a good day today?"

"Y/N, what'd you have for lunch?"

"Y/N, what are you doing after this?"

"Y/N where are you going?"

Shut up shut up shut up!!! I wanted to scream, recalling the amount of times Kai had called my name today. Who did he think he was, bothering me like this? Was he making fun of me? Teasing me? Did he enjoy pissing me off or something?

Usually, he bothered me a bit and then left me alone after getting the message that I wasn't in the mood to engage in conversation, but on this particular day before our segment he was persistent, appearing in every room I disappeared into, asking me random questions like what he should do for a certain line, asking to practice more times than we needed to—just basically finding any excuse to bug me.

I was exhausted today, too, and was hoping to use the time before our performance to just rest for a tiny bit, but with him buzzing around me like a mosquito I couldn't relax and was on edge. I would've already exploded, but it was Kai. I couldn't yell at him, the most I could do was give him sass and attitude or ignore him which he had seemed to have gotten used to now. And that was dangerous. Why was he so insistent on talking to me despite me being so terrible to him?

"Y/N, I—"

"Kai, please. You're like a dog barking nonstop. Please, leave." I finally sighed exasperatedly, feeling defeated and exhausted. I didn't hear anything back from him, and opened my eyes and looked at the door to see the 6-foot-something golden retriever with a heart-achingly sad expression. "I'm sure there's others you can talk to."

"Well, I want to talk to you. When can we?" He asked me straightforwardly.

I never imagined that he'd become so bold. He wasn't that shy boy I once knew, not even hesitating to say what was on his mind. Was this happening because I was seeing him too often? During our first few sessions at Music Bank together, he avoided me like the plague and couldn't even look at me. But little by little, he began trying to talk to me and becoming more and more persistent by the day.

"What are you saying?" I asked him, slightly flustered.

"I'm saying that we haven't gotten a chance to catch up yet. I've been trying to do that all this time." Kai responded, furrowing his eyebrows. "I'm sorry that you're tired, but I feel like you're just using it as an excuse to avoid me."

No, really. I am just tired. Wanting to avoid you is another whole thing.

"There's nothing to catch up on." I replied coldly.

"There is a lot to catch up on." He shot back.

"Not really. Nothing that you can't just look up about me." I scoffed, turning my chair away so that my back could face him and create a boundary between us.

I knew I was being cruel, but I couldn't let him phase me. I didn't want him to get close to me again, because all those old feelings were probably going to come back. I'd built myself up this far, to become untouchable and to not get hurt anymore, and I wasn't going to risk it. Just like I had changed, so had he. I didn't know him anymore, and couldn't be sure he wasn't going to use me like everyone else.

"I'm not gonna give up." Kai muttered with frustration, and a few moments later I heard him leave. I let out a breath I hadn't realize I was holding, looking at my reflection in the vanity mirror. I couldn't even recognize myself anymore. The person I used to care about the most, I was now hurting.