Back Together

❤︎︎ Thirteen ❤︎︎

Practice 1 happened. He did really well. P1. I couldn't handle things well though. I was in the corner of the garage, away from cameras and I was twitching a lot. Some sort of anxiety tics/twitches. I've had them since I was 15. It mainly was neck jolts but I would have whole body jolts too. Lando got out the car and came over to me. My twitches instantly started calming down when he was next to me. He was my comfort person. He squatted down next to me and put his hand on my thigh.

"Hey, sweetheart, you okay? You seem a bit on edge"

"anxiety twitches. had them since I was 15. they're kinda like tics. Doctors said it won't be permanent but I've had them for nearly 10 years so I beg to differ"

"So why did they stop when I came over?"

"You're my comfort person... I feel calmer around you so they calm down and start stopping"

"Aww, that's cute. I should probably be by your side all the time then"

"Yeah... you probably should" I said with a little laugh.

We went back to his driver room and cuddled up. I genuinely felt so safe in his arms.

"Is there anything else I should know about you?" He said

"Well there's only one thing I can think of"

"Yeah?"

"Well you know how I was born in Wales but I grew up in Somerset and now I'm at uni in Cardiff"

"Yeah...?"

"Well I've actually picked up a lot of Welsh while being there. It actually comes quite naturally"

"You can speak Welsh?"

"Enough to get me through a conversation. I'm basically fluent but I still have a few odd words I don't know in welsh yet"

"That's actually so cool. I didn't know you were actually born in Wales. That explains why you loved it every time we went there as kids"

"Yep. remember the time we went to Wales together on holiday as kids and we went to Barry and you fell face flat in the sand on the beach" I said with a laugh

"That wasn't my best move. I got sand in my mouth and eyes" he said

"Was pretty funny though" I said

"I guess it was" he said with a little laugh

We stayed cuddling for ages until we had to go back to the garage. I put my mask back on and stood in the corner.

"Hey, you know I think you're beautiful, right? And I love that smile of yours. So why don't you show it to me again? You don't have to hide behind that mask anymore" he said. He was so wrong. I had to hide from everyone

"not in front of everyone... you're the only one allowed to see my smile..."

"There's no one else here right now, Lexi. You're safe with me. Show me your gorgeous smile, please"

"no... you've seen it before and it's hideous... I've seen the horror in your eyes when you look at my teeth..."

"Lexi, you are so beautiful, inside and out. Your smile lights up your entire face and makes my heart melt"

"They're hideous"

"Listen to me, Lexi. I love you just the way you are. And I want to see your smile every single day of my life. So please, show it to me"

"No..." I said while holding back tears

"Lexi, you're breaking my heart here. I can't imagine living a single day without seeing that beautiful smile of yours. Please don't hide it from me"

"I can't... I hate them too much..."

"Lexi, I promise you, I will find a way to make your smile perfect. We'll go through therapy or whatever it takes. But until then, please don't hide it from me" he said. I was shaking so much but I let him see them just for a couple seconds

"just get it over with..."

"I'm here for you, Lexi. Always. And I promise, I won't be disappointed or disgusted by your teeth"

"I could see in your eyes that you were yesterday..."

"It's not that I was disgusted, Lexi. I just... it was a shock at first. But I promise you, I love every single part of you. Including your teeth"

"You don't..."

"Yes, I do. I promise you, I do. And even if I didn't before, I do now. Because you are perfect just the way you are"

"I'm not... I haven't brushed my teeth in like 2 weeks..."

"Then let's go brush your teeth together, okay?"

"but you have your practice session in like 5 minutes..."

"I'll deal with the consequences. You just focus on taking care of yourself, okay?" He said. He took me up to his driver room and found a spare toothbrush under the sink and he started to brush my teeth for me. I couldn't do it myself. I was crying so much to the point where I had mascara down my face and my false lashes were hanging off. My gums were even bleeding. He finished brushing my teeth and then found a cloth and started wiping my mascara off and he took my lashes off. "You are so beautiful, Lexi. Don't ever doubt that"

"I'm not..."

"You are"

"I'm not and you know it!!!"

"I know you feel that way now, but you are. Inside and out. And no matter what happens or how you feel, remember that"

"I can't..."

"You can. You just need someone to remind you every now and then"

"You need to go for your practice session... I'll stay here"

"As long as you promise me that you're gonna be okay"

"I promise..."