Back Together

❤︎︎ Thirty-Five ❤︎︎

Lando knew I wasn't well. I was smoking weed the next morning and was honestly losing the plot. I was sat on the couch and after a couple hours when I had finally sobered up enough to understand what he's saying he sat down next to me and held my hands in his

"Lex, you're not well. You've not been eating properly and you're still smoking weed. You can't keep going on like this"

"But I can't not keep doing this... I can't eat because I'll get overweight and then I won't be able to do my modelling stuff and I need my weed to keep the bad thoughts out of my head"

"Look, all I'm saying is let's just take things slow. Start with eating healthy and exercising regularly. We can also talk to a therapist about your self-image issues and the weed addiction"

"we can't see someone about my weed addiction because I'll get arrested"

"Okay, fine. But for now, let's focus on the food and exercise. Lets just take this one step at a time"

"you're gonna break up with me, aren't you...?"

"Of course not! Why would you think that? I love you, and I'm committed to making things better for us both. Let's just take it slow and see where it goes from here, okay?"

"your private Twitter vent account got leaked... I saw your tweet from last night where you said "sometimes I regret meeting her. she's always smoking weed and it's driving me crazy""

"Fuck. I'm sorry, Lex. I shouldn't have vented like that. I just get frustrated sometimes, you know? But I never meant any of it. And I'll delete that tweet, okay?"

"no point. it's already been leaked"

"Right. Well, just know that I love you and want to work on our relationship. I'm sorry for my venting session last night"

"but I'm obviously stressing you out"

"Honestly, sweetheart... no. You stressed about your own issues, sure - that's natural. But you've never stressed me out. You know that, right? You shouldn't put that burden on yourself"

"but I'm making you sometimes regret meeting me..."

"I said that out of anger, Lex. That tweet doesn't reflect how I truly feel about you. Sometimes, I just say things in the heat of the moment that I don't mean. But I love you, and I wouldn't trade our relationship for anything" he said. I felt so shit. I ran to the toilet and coughed up all sorts. Even blood.

"I coughed up some blood..." I said as I walked back into the living room

"Oh god, Lex. We need to get you to a doctor. This isn't normal. You shouldn't be coughing up blood. I'm gonna take you to the hospital, okay?"

"no!! they'll find out it's cannabis and I'll get arrested for it!!!"

"Sweetie, the doctors are there to help you. They won't care about the weed. They just want to make sure you're okay. And I promise I won't let them arrest you"

"they will just get past you!!! i don't wanna go to jail" I said as I started crying in his arms

"I promise, love. I won't let that happen. We'll get through this together. Just trust me. Now, please, let's go to the hospital so they can help you feel better"

"they're gonna put me in jail" I said while shaking in his arms and crying even more

"No, sweetie. I promise you won't go to jail. We'll figure this out together, okay? Just trust me. Let's go to the hospital now"

"i can't... I can't..." I said while struggling to breathe

"Alright, alright. We'll go to the hospital, but we're not telling them about the weed. Just focus on getting better, okay? I'll handle the rest" he said as he picked me up in his arms. I couldn't breathe and I passed out. The next thing I knew I was in the hospital in a bed with police outside my room talking to the doctors

"I'm getting arrested, aren't I?"

"No, sweetie. They're not going to arrest you. They just need to question you about what happened. Trust me, I won't let them hurt you"

"I've been smoking fucking cannabis. That's a class b drug. I'm getting fucking arrested"

"Stop it now. You're not getting arrested. I won't allow it. Just answer their questions truthfully, and everything will be fine. You're safe with me" he said. Somehow I got away with it. I didn't get arrested but I would have to start taking drug tests every week until I was clean for at least a couple months. We went home the next day and I honestly felt like death. I was putting Lando through so much. We needed a break.

"I swear to god you'd be better off without me" I said

"Don't say that. You're important to me, and I'm not going anywhere. We all make mistakes, but that doesn't define who we are. Let's focus on moving forward and making things right"

"I think we just need a break... I hate seeing you stress about me" I said. I could see that he knew we needed the break

"I know things have been tough, and I understand if you need space. But remember, whatever happens, I'll always be here for you. You're not alone in this, and I'll do whatever it takes to help you get through this"

"I'll stay in a hotel for the next week and then I'll come back here when you're at your race. give us the space we need..."

"Alright, sweetie. Take all the time you need. Remember, I'm just a phone call away if you need me. And trust me, I'll be thinking of you every day"

"Okay..."