Back Together

❤︎︎ Twenty-Two ❤︎︎

I slept outside my dorm block that night in the freezing rain. I hardly slept until the morning where it got slightly warmer. I woke up absolutely freezing. I couldn't feel my body at all. I was back in my dorm room with Lando stripping off my wet clothes and wrapping me in blankets while rubbing my legs to try and warm them. I couldn't stop shivering.

"Lan...? I thought you didn't want to deal with me after last night" I said. He didn't even look at me. He just kept trying to warm me up

"I'm dealing with you right now because you're in danger. You nearly froze to death last night, and that's unacceptable" he said

"That's your fault... you kicked me out for smoking some weed... now I've got hypothermia..." I said. I didn't know if I had hypothermia or not but I was certain about it. He stopped rubbing my legs and looked at me.

"Don't you dare blame this on me. I warned you about the consequences of drugs and you chose to ignore them. Now look at yourself. You're lucky to be alive right now"

"This wasn't even the drugs that caused this. This is your fault!" I whisper shouted

"Don't you fucking dare. If you didn't smoke them then you wouldn't be in this situation!!!" He yelled. I was shaking even more. Not just because of the hypothermia but also because of the anxiety. I couldn't hold my tears. It always scared me so much to hear someone I loved shouting at me. He instantly realised and pulled me into his arms. "Baby... I'm sorry. It's okay. I'm sorry I yelled. I'm just... worried about you. Look at yourself, honey. You're not in a good place right now"

"you're gonna hurt me... you yelled at me..."

"No one's going to hurt you, okay? I promise. I just... I need you to understand that what happened last night wasn't okay. You could have died out there"

"because you kicked me out of my own dorm room... I had nowhere else to go... you didn't even come after me"

"I know, and that's my fault. I should have handled it better. But please don't do this to yourself anymore, alright? You're too important to lose"

I couldn't respond. I was struggling to breathe. Next thing I knew I was in the hospital wrapped up in reflective sheets and I was in one of Lando's warmest and thickest hoodies. Lando was right next to the bed holding my hand. I must have been out all day because it was dark outside.

"Thank god you're alive. It's okay, honey. You're safe now. You were really brave out there. I'm so proud of you"

"I literally died in your arms... I'd say you were the brave one... I don't even know how I'm alive right now..."

"I'm sorry, sweetheart. I failed you. But you did it, okay? You're alive and here with me now. That's what matters most"

"I would like to say it's my fault for smoking weed but you had absolutely no right to kick me out of my own dorm room and let me LITERALLY freeze to death out there and only come and check on me this morning. one minute later and I could have been completely dead"

"You're right. I shouldn't have kicked you out. I was angry and hurt, but that doesn't excuse my behaviour. And for that, I am truly sorry"

"You should be" I said. I stayed in the hospital overnight and then went back to my dorm room. I had to find my weed. I needed it but Lando threw it away. "where is it???" I said while rummaging around my room to find it

"I threw it away, Lexi. Remember how you almost froze to death? Well, smoking that weed was a major contributor to that. I couldn't risk you doing it again"

"are you fucking kidding me??? I need that weed!!! it took me ages to get that big bag!!!!"

"No, I'm not kidding. I don't want to see you suffer like that again. It's for your own good, honey"

"I fucking hate you!! I'm going out" I said as I grabbed my jacket and left. I needed alcohol if I wasn't gonna have any drugs. I got extremely pissed on vodka. Like so pissed to the point where Lando tracked my location, found me, took me back and I threw up all night. I was a mess. A big fat fucking mess.