Kelly and Stella : Coming Back Together Again

Therapy

Today was the day they were having their first session of couples therapy. Jennifer and the kids haven't found out yet but she will soon and so will the kids. They had just told Jennifer that Stella had something to do before coming to get the kids and Kelly had something too so it would be a little while. They knew if they told her it was something together she would definitely get suspicious

As they walked in and sat down Kelly had asked Stella if she was ready to which she told him yes. She asked him the same thing to which he also replied that he was ready. Not long after they got there they got called back. "Well it's certainly a shock to see y'all both in my office for couples therapy" Their counselor Amy said. "I agree " Stella says. "It's definitely wild" Kelly tells them. "So how long have y'all been back together" Amy asks. "We've been back together for a month now" Kelly tells her. "Ok so not to long. What is it y'all would like to address in todays session and what would y'all like to accomplish in couples therapy" Amy asks. "For me I would like to really make sure that we don't get back to where we were when we split. I would also like to make sure that we don't let work affect us like it did there towards the end right before we split" Stella tells her. "Okay that's a good idea. What about you Kelly" Amy asks. "I would like to really address our issues that we had last time so like she said they don't rise again and then we're just back to square one" Kelly says. "Ok so it sounds like y'all both have the same concerns as the biggest " Amy tells them. "What would you like to address today" Amy asks them. "Talk about his mom and her ways. If we have time I'd also like to touch on fears about our reconciliation" Stella tells them. "I agree or shes going to ruin a good thing" Kelly says

"So what is she exactly doing " Amy asks. Kelly chooses to speak up first "I don't think she intentionally is trying to do harm but it's certainly annoying. She is all the time saying stuff about our relationship and how she doesn't understand why we split or why we aren't back together. Just the other day she was pestering me and Stella at the ball park about it" he tells Amy. "Would you agree or like to add anything to that Stella" Amy asks. "I completely agree with what he just said. I truly don't think she means any ill will behind it either but when she finds out we're back together what's she going to do pester us about getting married again or if we'll have anymore children" Stella adds. " I would say this is on you Kelly as her son. If I was you as soon as y'all tell her that y'all are back together you need to set a firm boundary with her. If you don't even though y'all mostly agree with each other about it don't think it still can't drive a ledge" Amy tells him. "What would that look like though" Kelly asks her. "It could be as little as telling her to stop talking about y'all's relationship with y'all or as big as just don't tell her any information unless it's something big like engagement or remarried if that's something that y'all are interested in" Amy tells him as Kelly gives her a thumbs up. "A question for you both. Would you say that she was like this the first time around or is this a new thing " Amy asks. "No she was not like this at all when we were first together. She at the time lived in St.Charles. She didn't really start doing this until a few years ago when she moved back to Chicago" Stella says. "I'm not really sure why she started but like Stella said as soon as she moved to Chicago she tried to become more and more into our relationship" Kelly tells her. "Do you think she thinks she's doing more good than bad" Amy asks. "She absolutely does and in some ways sometimes she is but not always " Kelly tells her. "Would you agree with that Stella " Amy asks. "Yes" she tells her. They spend another few minutes talking about her and concluded that truly the best thing for them to do about her is for Kelly to set boundaries with her when it comes to his and Stellas relationship

"You also said Stella that you wanted to touch on any fears that's there about y'all reconciling. I'll let you start off Kelly" Amy told them. "Yes. I would say the biggest fear for me is just getting back to where we were. I also fear of what if we do split again will we still be able to be like we were before as co parents. Another big thing is if we do get back to that bad place how can we get out of it without the kids knowing or splitting" He tells them. "I have a lot of the same fears as he does but I do have a few more as well. A big reason that we split the first time is stress. I was becoming a lieutenant as soon as I went back after having Ella on top of welcoming her into the family. He was working doubles all the time going between OFI and being a lieutenant. The stress from it all really pilled and we always winded up taking it out on one another. Another thing is when we have problems Kelly handles it more by shutting down instead of just saying something because he was taught by Benny and Jennifer that speaking up about issues rather internally or with someone else is a weakness. I've even heard Benny tell him before one day when he told him about a tough call and how he was struggling with it Kelly got told to man up that real men don't let stuff like that affect them" Stella tells her. "That last part that you said about his feelings and shutting down is actually something that he needs to work on in an individual session. You can try to help him all you want but that's something that he's going to have to work on himself" Amy tells them. "As for the fears, let's touch on the stress part first. Maybe after shift and when the kids go to bed so it's quiet again you both should do something as individuals to wind down so to say before y'all have y'all's alone time together " Amy said. "Normally we aren't up on the night we get off of shift very late" Stella tells her. "You'll make time if you want to. Y'all both maybe exhausted and I don't say this to be rude but if you truly want to you will stay up an extra hour or two more than you may want 1 or 2 nights a week. Your relationship doesn't just stop needing you both because y'all are tired. In fact that might be when it needs y'all more" Amy tells her. "Oh I know trust me" Stella tells her. "So what are some of the things that y'all like to do individually that y'all could do after the kids go to bed" Amy asks them both. "I personally like to sit in silence scrolling my phone, read the newspaper, or do a crossword puzzle" Kelly tells her. "I like to go soak in the bath, read a chapter or two in a book, or go sit on a porch swing and just take in the air" Stella tells her. "So why don't y'all when y'all are off shift on those nights pick one of those things both of you off of both of yours list and do it. Once y'all are done after 30 minutes or an hour come back together and do something together before y'all go to bed that way y'all are not only connecting around the kids or sexually. Sex is great but it will not make a relationship work. Prioritizing your kids first is great but if y'all don't take the time to recharge one another and connect outside of them once your kids are grown or need y'all less then y'all will be lost as a couple " Amy tells them. "What are some activities that y'all like to do together that would be great for y'all to do outside of the bedroom and with no kids involved" Amy asks them both. " I really enjoy when we sit together and watch TV, when we talk about our days, cooking together, and playing board games" Kelly tells them. "I agree with Kelly. I also love to lay on the couch as the end of a long day and reminisce about our lives now compared to what they used to be just to really remind ourselves of how far we've both came. Sometimes it's nice to have that reminder" Stella tells them. "So after y'all pick one individual activity I want y'all to come together and choose one activity y'all want to do at night together. Could range from 15 minutes to 30 maybe even an hour that's up to y'all but I want to challenge y'all to do that every night y'all are off. I think you both will be amazed with how differently y'all will approach one another when you both come into it calm and relaxed" Amy tells them as they tell her they both agree to do that