Chapter 43: On My Own

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Thomas knew that sneaking out in the middle of the night wasn't his proudest moment. But he also knew that taking everyone else was an unnecessary risk—one that he wasn't willing to make. Having already lost Bellamy and Minho for this long, he didn't want to put anyone else in any danger.

He crept through the rows of his sleeping friends, making sure to be careful as he maneuvered around them. Backpack in hand, he turned the next corner and made his way up a row of stairs.

The moon was high in the sky as Thomas crossed towards the camp. Just as he made his way up from the stairs and towards the car, he found Newt standing there. "Where do you think you're going, then?"

Guilt spread across Thomas's features. "Newt—"

"Well don't be a twat about it." Newt interjected. "I'm already in. Leo's in the back." He said, taking the backpack from Thomas and putting it in the car. "Come on."

Rapidly shaking his head, Thomas just let out a sigh. "No, not this time. Look, Even if we find Bellamy and Minho, there's no guarantee that we make it back from this."

"Obviously, dumbass," Leo called from the back.

"And you'll clearly need all the help you can get, won't you?" Newt said, opening up the front to reveal Frypan at the wheel.

The trio of boys just stared Thomas down—unwilling to back down from this particular challenge that he was setting forth.

"Besides," Newt continued. "We started this together and we might as well end it this way too."

Staring down his friends, Thomas finally broke eye contact. He couldn't deny that going on a one-man suicide mission was going to be his dumbest idea yet. He coouldn't deny that having hisf friends there with him would be helpful.

"Yeah okay," Thomas visibly deflated. "Let's go get them back."

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Bellamy would say that she was becoming a pro at distinguishing between fact and fiction, reality and dreams. At first, it had been damn impossible to even figure out which ones were real. It had always felt visceral.

Just like the simulations in Dauntless. The only difference was back then, Bellamy knew that it was happening. It didn't feel real to her then. She was good at getting out of the simulation—at immediately recognizing the flaws within the design.

Now though—being shoved in and out of fake scenarios day after day in an effort to keep her sedated so they could do surgery after surgery—taking bone marrow, plasma, and other things that were inherently hers.

The fake scenarios ranged from being back in Dauntless—Four would always show up aand she couldn't help but want it to be real. She would see him and Tris—and the first time it happened, Tori was there. And Bellamy had broken out of the sedation and killed a doctor.

They were more careful about things now.

Careful like placing her in the Glade. Making it seem as though her friends were coming for her. But Bellamy found the flaws, it was what she did. So now, sitting in a peaceful meadow and talking to an apparition of Leo, Bellamy knew.

But Bellamy was above all things—tired. She was tired of the constant torture and experimentation. She was tired of waiting to either be killed or to be rescued. Bellamy was ready to make something happen—either in her favor or to take away from WCKD.

It didn't matter much at this point. A win for her friends was a win. Even if it meant her death.

Bellamy shoved through the image ahead of her, mirror shattering. And then she was back to being strapped on the table, oxygen mask over her face. She could barely breathe and her arrms—she was in the straitjacket again and she wanted out.

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