Kakashi x Reader

31

31

You wake up in his bed and are shocked. How the hell did you end up next to him?! You quickly try to get up, but Kakashi's arm prevents you.

His deep voice behind you. "I'm afraid that you and I in a hospital bed will become a habit."

You swallow and your heart pounds. "You're all right, aren't you?"

"As the situation demands."

"And what is that?" you want to know.

"Well, I'm still half dead, but since you're lying with me, it could be worse."

You frown. And carefully turn around in his arms. His eyes are closed. No mask. But although your gaze immediately remains fixed on his face, it's almost not new anymore. After all, you stared at Hatake almost every day for so long that your eyes bled. In the figurative sense, of course.

"Isn't it a bit too early to be joking?"

His eyes open and meet yours. "Maybe?"

You have to smile. "Is that a question?"

"No?" he replies, and his smile almost takes your breath away.

"Was that a question?"

"Maybe?" His lips turn into a bigger grin and he pushes his head closer to yours. So close that your nose touches his.

"Kakashi?"

"That was definitely a question," he jokes, and his breath, which smells of medicine, brushes against you.

Your smile disappears. "Tell me."

He sighs, gives you a little kiss on the tip of your nose - as if it were the most natural thing in the world - and then leans back a little. "I suppose I can't put you off until later?" When you say no, his hand, which is resting on your back, begins to draw small circles. You get goose bumps. "I thought as much," he mutters, closing his eyes again. "This is not something I like to talk about, (Y/N)."

"But if I'm going to forgive you, I need to hear it."

He immediately blinks at you. "You want to forgive me?"

"It all depends on how honest you are with me now, Kakashi. I already know a lot, but... I want you to explain it to me. And with these words, he doesn't need to be asked twice. Kakashi tells me how he fell into a deep hole after his father's death and how the Hokage at the time wanted to redirect his anger and rage. He told me about the exhausting training, the methods used to turn him into one of the most dangerous ninjas there are. And one of the best. He told you how dangerous and disturbing some of the missions were and how they haunted him in his dreams. How he started to withdraw and only kept friends with those he had known before, so as not to burden anyone with his new, dark nature. He gradually became an Anbu member who no longer knew whether he was the secret agent or a simple shinobi. And then came Akatsuki. And with them, everything got worse. Kakashi did not say what horrors he had to do for this organisation, but you can hear in his darkening voice that the deeds have traumatised him. He describes to you how he used this Hinata as his anchor to the normal world when he was there, so as not to lose himself in the evil and intrigue of Akatsuki. And when he tells you how he could no longer deny what he feels for you and how that scared him more than anything else, you can't take it anymore. You kiss him just as he tells you that he had to push you away all the time so as not to hurt you.

The kiss is very gentle and tender. Your hand rests on his smooth cheek and your heart screams with joy as your lips open and you enjoy this touch together with him. You are careful and move slowly and carefully. You perfectly synchronise your movements and tongue strokes. And although this kiss is very sensual, it is not that it excites you. It's more like this intimacy feels like a timid question. Like a quiet approach or careful steps towards each other. It's simply romantic. And that's despite the fact that you're lying in a hospital bed and Kakashi is hooked up to dozens of tubes and machines that have to keep him strong and stable. This kiss feels like a beginning.

A throat-clearing makes you pull away from each other after a few minutes. For a few seconds you can't open your eyes again because the feeling isn't ready to fade. You know that it's your father who is standing at the foot of the bed now, but you don't care. No one can spoil this moment for you. And Minato wouldn't dare forbid you to be close to Kakashi Hatake now. Not after she knew him so well now.

"Kakashi," you whisper. But both he and your father interrupt you.

"I need to talk to you, Kakashi," your father says. "Have you talked to (Y/N)? Have you told her what you wanted to say?"

What he wanted to say? You sit up and look at Hatake.

He shakes his head. "I was just about to."

"You wanted to tell me something?" you ask, and you think you see a certain tension.

Kakashi looks at you. "I have to tell you something, I... Later, okay?" But then he stops and looks at your father. "When we're alone."

***

Kakashi was discharged today. You and Obito took him home, where all his friends were waiting to welcome him. The official story was that a mission had failed. It wasn't too far from the truth. What remained under wraps, however, were the details of Akatsuki and Kakashi's time as an Anbu member. And here you are glad that the emphasis was on "was". Past tense.

And what else became official, but is definitely true. Is that Kakashi and you are now a couple. Neither he nor you said it, but when Hatake, Obito and you arrived at his house, and everyone was standing in front of his door, he intertwined his fingers with yours, and kissed you tenderly and almost breathlessly. For you and everyone else, that was a statement enough. And when he accepted congratulations on your new relationship, your heart was overjoyed.

Now you are walking to the shops, lost in thoughts of kisses and loving touches, carrying a bag of sweets and holding hands. You and Kakashi! You and him! And that, even though you thought he was-

"Hey! (Y/N), right?"

You turn around to the voice and immediately recognise the speaker. How could you not? She's far too pretty to go unnoticed. You wonder how Hinata Hyuga managed to go unnoticed when she was undercover with Kakashi. But the thought vanishes, because you don't want to think about that time, which was so cruel for Kakashi.

"Hi," you greet her and smile at her in a friendly manner.

Hinata stops in front of you and looks a little confused. "Um," she starts and blinks. "I didn't think you'd be so friendly. I mean..."

You wave your hand - as far as the bag will allow - and continue to smile. "It's okay. I know."

"Oh really?" You nod and she whistles softly. "So Kakashi told you everything, did he?"

"Yep. From start to finish. I know everything. But since he's no longer with the Anbu," you whisper, so that only she can hear. "What happened is no longer relevant. I'm letting the past be the past."

She still looks at you sceptically, but then she smiles shyly at you. "That's a sensible view. What Hatake and I went through, that somehow connects you. I mean, it's not as if we ever loved each other."

Now it's your turn to blink and your fingertips suddenly go cold. "What do you mean?" you ask, and now your expression changes. "What do you mean when you say you weren't in love?"

Hinata doesn't notice that your mood is changing because she is looking down the street. "What I mean is that he and I had fun together from time to time. To relieve stress and stuff. You know, fooling around?"

"Fooling around?" No, you didn't understand. You don't want to understand, but Hinata just keeps talking.

"It was just sex. Just a bit of... well, screwing around. And that was only four or five times. It never really meant anything. I mean, it was good. Damn good, even! But who am I telling? It stopped right after you were standing at the door that time. That was the last time. After you left, he told me how he felt about you and officially ended the joke with us.«

"You slept together that day?" you ask monotonously, noticing how your heart is slowly turning back into an ice block.

Hinata nods. "But as I said, it was the last time. After that, nothing happened. He only talked about you and how much he wished that it could work out between you two. And-"

She goes on and on, but you've stopped listening long ago. You just walk along beside her, like a flavouring, and hear your own heart beating faster. Beating and then breaking for the umpteenth time.