Dempeo: The right kind of wrong

I love you, i'm sorry

AN: thank you for sticking with me on this. Every read, vote and comment means the world to me. This story is coming towards an end soon. A few more chapters to go though. Also a new book is coming soon. So when this is done we're starting over. My ideas for this one was one way at first and now another because of the huge timegap from start to finish.
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"Mom!" Ellen heard Sullivan yell at Jill and saw Jill step back a little after that. "I hate you." Jill said but this time her voice wasn't loud. It was soft but hurt. Ellen could tell she was on the verge of tears. "I'm sorry..." Patrick whispered. Barely audible at this point.

Ellen was still speachless, she hadn't taken in all that happened in these last few minutes. Time had stopped and it felt like a dream. But eventually she heard her name and she knew it was real life.

"Did you know Ellen?" Jillian was suddenly facing her and she could feel her heart speed up at the question.
"I..." she began before Patrick interrupted her.
"She doesn't. I never told her." Patrick turned around and looked straight at Ellen now and she met his eyes.

"I'm sorry Ellen. I never want to ruin our friendship. I tried not to love you. I am so so sorry."
Ellen felt a tear fall. He was taking the blame for her, giving her an out of this. She could see that his eyes told her in was okay. That she could keep lying. But could she?

Chris spoke out of the blue "Ellen I need you to tell me right now. Do you feel the same? Are you in love with him, cause if so..." his voice was breaking, Ellen could hear that. But her eyes couldn't break away from Patricks no matter what right now. She was in their bubble. Her tears flowed now, and she started to sob because what was her response to this going to be.

"Ellie it's okay that you don't love me back. I know you love me as a friend and that's enough." Patty suddenly spoke again and she cried even more.
He was the most amazing man. Taking all the blame.

"Say it mom. Just say you're not in love with him." Stella said making everyone in the room look at her. Well everyone except Patrick and Ellen, they were still stuck.
"It's okay, it's okay..." she heard Patrick whisper to her over and over but it wasn't. She couldn't do this.

"I can't say that." Ellen finally said, softly and barely audible but they heard, everyone heard. "I love you too" she directed this at Patty. She didn't want to face the room but looking into the man she'd loved for the past 18 years, she couldn't break him again. Not after everything.
Patricks eyes lit up a little at that. He wanted to make it easy for her, fearing she'd run from him again. But she had chosen the hard road. And it somehow was a small happiness in what he knew was and would be a night of pain and sadness.

Chris backed up and sat down on the couch as he heard his wifes words. Hearing Patrick confess his love was surprising but not shocking. He always knew. But his wife? He felt the world crumble around him and he had to sit.

Jillian felt like she was going to pass out from the pain if she gave inte her emotions of sorrow, so she chose to lean into her anger instead. "Oh that's fucking fantastic! You both discust me!!" She shouted and left the room. She couldn't stand to be there right now. She needed to breathe. Honestly she needed a drink, or a smoke.

Ellen finally snapped back to reality and broke her gaze from Patrick when Jill left the room. Her eyes landed on her kid. She saw that Stella was confused and shocked. It hurt her so much. She turned to see her husband and felt so guilty. "Chris..."
"I'm going upstairs don't you dare follow me!" He angerly replied and stormed past her into the house. Leaving her and Patrick alone with the kids.

"I'm going to check on mom." Darby said out of the blue and Sullivan agreed and followed him. "I'm going to check on dad. I think he needs time so please stay here mom." Stella spoke with sadness right after Darby and followed the boys inside.

"Talula, are you okay?" Patrick spoke up looking at his daughter. She looked broken and it killed him. "Im not sober enough to talk to you right now. Leave me the fuck alone." She answered with a harsh tone and took the bottle of tequila with her as she walked into the house.

"Well I guess that leaves us alone..." Patrick spoke looking at Ellen. "Patty please... what just happened? I can't... I... what did we do?" She broke down, everything hit her at once and she fell to the floor in a panic attack, breathing fast and gasping for air between her sobs.
Patrick felt his heart break when he saw her, he hated seeing her in this state and wanted nothing more than to protect her. He sat down on the floor and held her close, not really caring at the moment if anyone came back outside.
"Breathe, Ellie please listen to my voice. Focus on it and just try and breathe with me."
She finally looked at him and he took deep breaths in and out to get her to follow. After a minute or so her breathing had slowed down a little and he gave her a big hug.

"I know this wasn't how it was suppose to go baby. But I couldn't deny it. Tal knew and I can't say the words. I can't lie about how much I love you." He spoke as they seperated a little to look at each other. Ellen could see that he was sorry that he wasn't strong enough to follow the plan.
"Hey, listen." She put her hands on each side of his face. "This is not on you. I couldn't lie either. It's just so not how I thought this night was gonna go."

Patrick got up from the floor to get them some wine. Their glasses were far away so this felt like a moment where drinking out of the bottle was acceptable. He took a sip and handed it to El.
"This happened and you know they are angry right now, but more questions are going to come. So what do you want us to say? I'll do whatever you want honey, I don't want you in more pain than you already are."
As the words left Patrick, Ellen gave him a small smile. He was truly the most amazing man to her and she wondered how she even deserved him after everything.
"I don't think admitting to anything else will do any good. Maybe you tell Jillian that you felt and feel this way but never said anything for the good of all of us. Tell her you love her too." Ellen began and at those last words Patrick chimed in. "I do love her but not like you, I love her for being a good mom to my kids and being kind to me. But i haven't been in love with her since the day I met you."

Ellen leaned in to give him a peck on the lips. She already knew this and the fact that he jumped in and said it just made her heart swell.
"I know Patty. I'm not telling you to lie about that, just tell her the truth, minus the things we've done. And then say you never thought I felt the same."
Patrick took a deep breathe. He could easily go back into the mindset of his younger self. Before they acted out their feelings. Because back then he felt just like that, that she would never feel the same.

"I'll tell Chris the same, except I might say I pushed in away and never thought it was real until you said something? Might make it more believable?" Ellen continued and she was met with a smile from Patty.
"Sounds good Ellen. I want to be with you so much. We just have to make this as smooth as we can for our families." But his thoughts were still all over.
"Maybe we tell them I kissed you once? When we were drunk? Because honestly I feel bad that we always told them it was nothing. Made Jillian paranoid." Patrick took his arm and rested on her leg. He knew he couldn't be too intimate right now, if anyone came back it would make things worse. But he was also in need to feel her close.
"You're right. I feel guilty too. Tell her it was at our trailer and someone knocked on the door and we never spoke of it again. But only if she want to know Patrick. No need to say anything if they don't ask." Ellen was calm in her voice, she knew he made a good point and at this point she just wanted to make everyone feel less hurt.
They sat there for probably another thirty minutes before they heard someone inside. Both of them tensed up not knowing who it was or what was going to happen now.
Patty took away his hand and Ellen made a little more space between them. But they remained on the floor with the bottle of wine in between them.