Doom's Night || TXT

T H E D E E P E N D [Pt.1]

⚠️ A/N: LISTEN TO THIS WHILE READING FOR THE VIBES ⚠️

Yeonjun didn't have it easy. He collapsed in his room, all alone every night ever since he came back. He could feel the excruciating guilt affecting him endlessly everytime he hurt her. Was it fun? He truly wondered. He did not want to feel even a single positive feeling related to her. She had hurt him, she had made him feel so flawed, so inadequate, so unworthy of any love and affection let alone hers... But hadn't she also provided him that love, that friendship, that bond? A part of him killed to torture her like she did to him, but another part, a significant one, hated it. And he hated himself for hating it.

She deserves it.

As he packed his last of things in the duffel bag, he ran a hand through his hair and walked out with a sigh. "Are we all set?" He asked Soobin who was waiting already.

"The others are still not ready yet. We should set out before the sun is up and shining honestly. It'd be too hot, while hiking up otherwise." He said as he patted his own bag which was a little larger since it carried some of the tent materials.

"I can help with that." Yeonjun said pointing at it as Soobin clicked his tongue and waved it off. "Don't worry about it. It's not that heavy. Beomgyu and Kai would carry the other stuff." He said making Yeonjun nod slightly.

He went around the couch and took a seat. They sat in silence for a few minutes before both started to talk at the same time. "Oh wait, let me go first-" Soobin said but Yeonjun cut him off. "I don't think so. I'm going first." He said holding up a finger making the former huff in defiance.

"Why does Hyun Ae need to accompany us?" He asked with a sigh.

"Because we're going camping?" Soobin said as a matter of fact. "And she's our best friend. We're not leaving her behind." He said and rolled his eyes.

"Yeah right." Scoffed Yeonjun. "Your friend. But pain in my butt."

"Last time I checked you were the pain in her butt-" Soobin said casually earning a glare from the boy. "Watch your tongue!" He exclaimed. "She deserved it."

"She loves you." Soobin said instead. "And you loved her before all your merging shenanigans."

"Yeah obviously. Because I literally sacrificed myself for her. She made me loathe myself!" Yeonjun exclaimed, already feeling his blood boil and Soobin couldn't help but scoff out a laughter in response. "I can't believe you're saying that. She didn't know any better! If anything, you should have explained to her before assuming she'd hate you all her life for being Yang as well. She was only just an angel, how was she supposed to know everything about such a mighty complicated entity such as yourself??"

"So it's my fault now?" Yeonjun said narrowing his eyes, getting angrier by the minute.

"I'm just saying it was a miscommunication and you happened to nurture a petty sentiment such as revenge." Soobin said holding up his hands making Yeonjun scoff in response and sit back, with his arms crossed tight, clear that he was done with the conversation.

But was Soobin wrong? He did have a point, didn't he? He wanted to shake off this feeling - empathy, was it? Maybe if he had confronted Hyun Ae about the truth of himself, of who he was, life wouldn't have come to this point. They wouldn't be here fighting such complex feelings of love and hate and everything in between. He spent years loathing himself but why could he never try to talk it out? Because he was scared. He was scared that he loved her too much and he was scared that he would lose her. He could not have faith enough in their devotion to each other, so he chose to strip himself down and restrict himself to an identity, only suited for herself... And what had it led to? He gambled, he risked his life, and all could have been prevented only if hadn't forsaken Yang. His rational thinking, his logical and firm mind, one that could take reins in a difficult situation. He let himself be solely driven by emotions alone.