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─ ⊹ ⊱ ☆ ⊰ ⊹ ─
After Todoroki left, you couldn't get out of bed and eventually, a few days passed. No one stepped foot in your room, they assumed you wanted time to grieve, but it was starting to get extensive. Only some people came to your door and knocked, like Yaoyorozu and all the other girls, but when you didn't respond to them, they turned away.
You would spend hours without doing anything in particular—yes, you'd occasionally get up to use the bathroom, but that was it. You would freak yourself out every time you saw yourself in the mirror; a reminder of how faded you looked after escaping the freezer. You'd sleep through most of the day, then lay awake at night, mindlessly watching the sunrise outside your window.
It wasn't until today that you decided to get up and answer the door for the person on the other side. Your tired eyes skimmed the tall figure standing in front of you. Your wild hair almost matched his messy gold tresses. His smile glistened from the light in the hallway.
"Can I come in?" Hawks asked, only keeping his eyes on you and your figure. He brought a brown paper bag out from behind his back, holding it in front of your face, "I brought food."
You hesitated, slightly ashamed your room was as disastrous as it was. You hadn't even been out of bed and it still managed to look like a pigsty. What dignity did you have left to lose? A heads up from Hawks would've been nice, even though your phone was dead—it had been dead for the past two days.
You turned away from the door, heading back to the comfort of your bed as Hawks followed in. He kicked the door to shut behind him and sat at your desk, facing your spinning chair toward you sitting criss-cross on your mattress. Hawks set the food on your desk behind him.
Awkward stillness followed, you were expecting him to be digging in the bag to make things less intense, but the silence was loud. He stared at you, watching you look at anywhere but him.
"I know it's not easy—" Hawks started, but was abruptly interrupted by you.
"It isn't." You stared at your hands, focusing on the scar Dabi gave you a little over a month ago. The ring you once had on your finger was placed on your nightstand, along with several crushed water bottles. "She was right there, Haw—Keigo. If I hadn't followed him she would still be alive right now."
Hawks sighed, moving from the chair to the bed, now sitting next to you. The indent he created caused you to lean closer to him. You sniffed the air, the faint smell of chicken hitting your nostrils. You continued looking forward at yourself in the reflection of the television. You truly felt disgusted with what you saw.
"You didn't know. And that's okay. You've heard this a million times, (Y/N). You can't always save everyone when you're a hero." Hawks' hand slid up and down your back, his nails grazing against the cotton of your shirt. You started to tear up, feeling comforted and regret was not a good mix for you. His voice echoed in your ears as you fought back sobs, "It's not your fault."
You choked, "I know. But it'll still always be something that I regret."
You knew you'd never be able to live down the guilt you felt. Soon it'll bubble over and you'll climb back into a depressive state—the same as you are now.
"It's been a rough couple of days for you." Hawks spoke, which was an understatement. You've been through hell and back yet managed to survive. "I know you left the hospital because of our deal. Kid," Hawks looked into your glassy eyes. Seeing you like this was starting to pull at his heart strings and he couldn't bare it. "we're not going to take you out of school."
You felt more at ease after hearing that, but at this point they should take you out; you couldn't begin to imagine how badly your grades dropped.
"I just need you to promise me that you'll keep going. If you want to keep being a hero, you have to leave your room." You nodded your head in agreement, taking a deep breath. Your fingers fidgeted with one another, stretching and popping throughout the conversation. Hawks could sense the doubt and lack of confidence in you radiating from your body language. "You're smart, (Y/N). It's a hard thing to do, but you just have to move on. Don't let this get in the way of you becoming a hero. You're too good for that."
You gave him a wobbly smile, fighting back the tears, "Thank you, Keigo."
"Of course, kiddo." He brought you in for a hug, wrapping his arms around your upper back and head. Hawks swallowed, starting to become touched by the moment. He quickly backed out before the water works would fire off. "Why don't we eat?"
You eagerly agreed, realizing you hadn't had an actual meal in days. You were surviving off of stale crackers and water that you kept underneath your bed for emergencies.
Hawks stood, using this time to wipe the away the tear that fell down his cheek, hoping you didn't notice. He opened the bag of food, only to pause when he noticed the jar of dead flowers. The drained color only added to the messy aesthetic of your room.
Hawks was almost afraid to ask the question that lingered in his mind, given your previous serious conversation. "Where'd you get these flowers from?"
You instantly froze, your lips dropping to a nervous look. Your face felt warm as you tried coming up with an excuse. You looked in all directions except Hawks' before landing in an answer, "A friend."
Not the best response.
"What "friend" would get you orchids?" Hawks said, using his fingers as air quotes around the word 'friend'. He searched far back in his memories, trying to recall any mentions of a girl or boy in particular. Then, it clicked, "Is it Endeavor's son? The one from the hospital. Todoroki?"
"Well," You looked away bashfully, "kinda."
"When did you plan on telling me about this?" Hawks quirked a brow, standing with his arms crossed looking down at you sitting on the bed. Suddenly, a thought occurred in his mind, "Did Mirko know about this?"
"I mean...yeah. I'm surprised she didn't tell you."
Hawks shook his head back and forth, disappointed in your secrecy. He took note of asking Mirko about it later for details, but as of now, he was just concerned with you. He sighed, "Does he treat you well?"
You gestured towards the flowers, "Doesn't that tell you enough already?"
"That he's lazy and doesn't know how to replace wilted flowers? Yeah, that tells me a lot." Hawks set the vase in its initial spot, casting a scowl at the flowers before unboxing the food from the bag. He held up a fork and knife, handing them both to you, "Ready to eat?"
