Dirty Little Secret/Lando Norris

67. A week from hell

It has been a few days since I lost the baby and I barely left the room, Lando was at my side the whole time, but I know he needs to leave on Thursday for the Austrian race, we haven't spoken a lot just the occasionally how are you, are you feeling better. We were sitting on the sofa watching a movie when he turned to me. "Please come with me to the race." he say and I looked at him. "I am not ready." I say looking back to the TV. "Bella can we please talk about the baby." he ask and I sigh. "There is nothing to talk about, you are free now Lando no more baby to worry about I lost it what is there to say." I say looking at my hands and I can hear him sigh. "Don't do that, don't act like the baby is the only thing that kept me connected to you." he say and I frown not looking at him. "And I have told you a hundred times and I would do it a hundred times more, it was not your fault I do not blame you." he say and I wipe a tear nodding.

"I want you to come with me, because I will just worry if you are not with Me." he say and I look at him. "I will be fine, I am not ready to go out and pretend that everything is fine." I say and he nods. "Maybe it will be good for you to come out." he say and I sigh standing up. "I am not going Lando, so stop worrying about me, and you are really free to go I am better." I say walking to my room and lay down, I scrolled through my phone and answered some messages from the girls, they did come and see me and so did Drew and Odessa. I just lay there looking at the ceiling, I was not okay, but I have said it so many times, I just wanted to be alone and Lando gave me enough space but his presence here made me more anxious and I just wanted to be alone. I stood up and walked to my closet taking out the clothes and teddy bear the girls got me and I started crying, my little peanut will never be able to wear this or to play with the teddy bear.

I was sitting on the floor when Lando came in and he looked from me to the baby stuff, he came and sat on the carpet with me, pulling me on his lap not saying anything just rubbing my arm and letting me cry it out. When I was done crying he kissed my head and started packing the things away, me still on his lap. "You are not better" he say after putting it back and I did not say anything. "Maybe you should talk to someone." he say and I look up at him. "Maybe" I say standing up walking to the bathroom, I cleaned my face and just went to lay in bed again. I was asleep soon, I was emotionally so tired all the time, and everyone wanting to talk the whole time made me tired. I just need to mourn my baby and then I will be fine. I woke up with Lando talking on the phone, and stood up seeing its dark outside and I walk to the kitchen.

"I have ordered food." he say leaning on the kitchen counter and I just nod. "Do you want some tea?" I ask him and he nods. I gave him the tea and we just stood there in the kitchen. "We need to talk Bella." he say and I sigh, I am so tired of hearing that, I am tired of talking. "About?" I ask and he smile. "I am not feeling comfortable leaving you alone here, so you are going with Me." he say and I was in shock, who does he thinks he is telling me what to do. "No I am not Lando and you cannot tell me what to do." I say walking to sit on the sofa. He was frustrated with me I can see it. "Just listen to me Isabella for fuck sakes." he say and I look up at him, he hasn't used my full name in a while and he hasn't raised his voice to me in a while as well. "I am listening Lando and I am not your problem anymore, I am a big girl I can look after myself." I say running my hands through my hair. He shake his head and we both turn to the door, he open it and paid for the food and then he came back.

He started dishing for us and then we sat at the kitchen counter eating. "You will always be my problem." he say and I frown at him. "So I am a problem now?" I ask feeling angry. He shake his head. "Not what I meant." he say eating his food and I nod. "I want you to understand that I am not ready to travel yet, or to go out, and I will have Lola and Madelyn here." I say and he nods. "So what you are actually saying is you are not ready to be seen with me." he say and I frown, a part of me doesn't want to go out because I am not ready and another part of me is agreeing with him, I am not ready for all that hate again. Yes I have seen the post, people speculating that I went in hiding because Lando was cheating on me, but I don't even know if we are together anymore. I did not say anything and I finish my food. "I need to know what are we?" he ask and I look at him. "I don't know, before the baby and all of that we broke up remember, you left me." I say standing up putting my plate in the sink.

"So what according to you we are not together anymore? and I told you I wanted you back." he say and I nod leaning against the counter. "I don't know Lando, I really do not have the energy for this right now, yes you were good to me this past few days, but you were also treating me like shit before I lost the baby, so is that how you treat someone that you love?" I ask and I can see I hit a nerve. "I have apologised for that so many times I am not doing it again, and I lost our baby too, have you ever thought about that." he shout slamming his hands on the counter and I gasp, I have never seen Lando like this and he is right I have only thought about my pain, my loss and he has also lost the baby. "I know and I am sorry okay, I am so fucking sorry that I am such a useless women that I could not even bring a baby in the world." I say wiping a tear and I can see he looks ashamed for how he acted. I ran my hands over my face and then I looked at him.

"Maybe we just need time apart, we both have lost something and let's be honest before the baby we were not in the best space, so go to your race and I will be fine, I will enjoy the time alone and just heal, because I need to heal." I say and he nods biting his lip. "If you come back we can maybe sit and talk about us, but for now I cannot think of anything else except the fact that I lost the baby." I say walking to my room to take a bath, I need to relax.

So tell me what you think do you think they will get together again?