Dirty Little Secret/Lando Norris

68. Come you need to get out

Lando left the next day and things was not good with us, I sat on my sofa it was weird being alone after almost a week with Lando here, it was actually so nice being alone at last, I relaxed at home and I cried when I wanted and I just had a day for myself, no one to ask questions and no one to ask me how I am. I just did what I wanted the whole day. I woke up on Friday and I went to shower and for the first time in a long time I dress in something other than sweat pants, I put on some light makeup and then my phone rang. I see Madelyn's name and I smile. "Hey, how are you?" "Hey Bella good and you, what you doing?" she ask and I laugh at her not giving me a chance to answer. "Nothing at home and you?" "Well, I am on my way to you because I am dragging you with me to go on a Yacht today." she say and I sigh. "I don't know Maddie." "Nope I am not taking no for an answer, I am almost at your house be ready." she say and before I can say anything else she end the call and I sigh standing up.

Well I was dressed in a nice outfit I can just as well go. I was busy getting my things together when she knocks and I open the door, she smile and hugged me. "You look good." she says as she walk in and I thank her. She look around, "Where is Lando?" she ask and I smile. "In Austria, he has a race on Sunday." I say and she nods. "Okay so are you ready, you need to get out." she ask and I nod. "Yeah, who else is going?" I ask as we walked to the car waiting for us. "Drew, Odessa, Lola, Rudy, Elaine and some other people." she say and I nod. "So how are you really?" she ask and I roll my eyes. "Just tired of people asking me that." she laugh and nods. "Okay I will not ask again." I smile and look out the window. We arrived at the docks and we walked to a beautiful Yacht. I greeted everyone and they were all happy to see me.

I and Lola stood at the railing as the boat was moving out of the docks. "So, I am not going to ask how you are because I hear you are tired of hearing that, but you look good." she say and I smile at her. "I feel good, I feel better." I say and she nods. "And Lando how is he?" "Pissed off as always." I say sipping my drink, it was the first time in a long time I was drinking again. "Again, Why?" she ask and I laugh at her reaction. "He wanted me to go with him to the paddock, but I did not feel up to it, and the thing is I don't know if I want to go back to what we had." I say and she looks surprise. "Bella, he loves you and you love him why would you not be together?" she ask and I shrug. "I don't know, I just keep on feeling like he would never have come back to me if I was not pregnant." I say and she nods. "Hey you two come we are taking photos." Madelyn shout standing in a stunning bikini and I laugh.

We took some photos and then we just had a great time, no one mentioned my miscarriage and no one asked about Lando, I was so grateful for that. The rest of the day was really great, and I had a feeling that the one friend of Madelyn Adam was flirting with me, he was a law student in his final year, after Nate I was staying away from lawyers. We went back to Monaco just as the sun was setting and I thanked them all for a great day, Madelyn told me she will see I tomorrow and so did Lola, I took a car that Madelyn offered back to my apartment. I was just ready to take a shower, when I see a text.

LAN: Can't go out in public with me, but spending it with your friends.

I frown how did he knew, I went on Instagram and saw Madelyn and Lola posted pictures of us. I sigh and at first I wanted to ignore him but then I decided against it.

Me: Thought you would be happy seeing me out of the apartment.

LAN: I wanted you with me not other people

Me: They are my friends not some random people.

LAN: Whatever Bella,

Me: Why are you mad right now?

He did not reply and after 10 minutes of waiting I went and took a shower, I went to bed and I felt better, of course when I was lying in bed I always cry. All the emotions come rushing in at night when I was alone with my thoughts, I wished I could erase my memory, or bump my head hard enough to forget. I fell asleep like I always did, eyes red from crying, rolled in a ball. I woke up from my phone ringing and I sat up, wondering what time it is. I see it's just after 3 in the morning and I frown, when I see Lando's name. "Hey" I answer and I can hear him breathing. "Lando what is wrong?" I ask and I can hear him crying. "I miss you" he finally say and I sat up. "I miss you too." I confess, of course I miss him. "Why are we not together?" he ask and I can hear he sound drunk. "Are you drunk Lando." he gave a little laugh and I frown. "Maybe I had a few drinks to forget what happened." he say and I kept quiet.

"You know Bella, I would have made a great father, and I would have given the world to that baby and to you." he say and I understand now. "I know Lando" I say trying to hide my sobs. "I am so sorry I fucked it all up, I should have been there for you, I should have watched over you." he say and I could not help but let the tears run. "Lando, even if you were here, I would have lost the baby, it's not your fault." I say the words he said to me so many times. "I should have treated you better, you did not deserved any of It." he say and I sigh running my hands through my hair. "Lando go get some sleep, we can talk tomorrow." I say and he laugh. "I struggle to sleep without you." I did not think it was possible but I was falling even more in love with him. "Try to sleep at least, and Lando I wanted to have that baby with you because I knew you would have been the best father, I never doubt that, now go to sleep please and I love you Lando." I say the words I haven't say in so long and I hear him breathe out.

"I love you so fucking much Bella" he say and I wipe my tears with the back of my hand. We said goodbye and I lay back, I did not think losing the baby would affect him so much, he always seemed like he did not care but deep down I think he was hurting as well and I did not make it easy for him, I was selfish yes I lost a baby but so did he, we both lost a child and I was not supporting him in it. He has so many guilt and I vowed to myself that if he comes back I will make sure to assure him he has nothing to feel guilty about.

So, Bella is softening up to Lando again, will it last we will see.