The Publicist

Masterpiece

"Pic in the m/m.

You couldn't read the other updates because I deleted them, they were notes.

And please read Leap of Faith, this is ending soon. Leap of Faith readers tell them what they missing 😃"

Jazz POV-

"Jazzy why so sad my love?" Nana Efya, Trey's great-grandmother came out on the front steps where I was watching the night sky.

She looked exactly like Cicely Tyson, yet she had an accent and wore traditional garb.

She had to be one of the sweetest women Ive met and it was a pure joy to be here to witness her and Trey's connection and learn about their family history as we shot the documentary.

She was a retired teacher, who lived in the states for a while, but after her marriage dissolved, she moved back here which was her home.

"Nothing just thinking."

"The boys went to the club. You didn't want to go?"

"No. Clubs aren't really my thing."

She sat on the steps next to me.

"Something is bothering you. Tell Nana Efya." She grabbed me by my shoulders, pulling me into her body.

"Nana I'm fine." I smiled.

"I know a liar when I see one." She turned her nose up at me.

I chuckled. "I'm not lying."

"Give me your hands."

I gave her my hands. She grabbed them and brought them to her lips and kissed them.

"Whatever it is. You'll be fine. Okay?"

I shook my head yes trying to hold back tears. She got up and was about to go inside.

"Nana." I called out.

She came back to me.

"I'm confused." I put my head in my hands.

"About what my dear?"

"Just so many things." I started to cry.

"Ahhh child let it out." She sat next to me and pulled my head into her chest.

She held my face and wiped my tears with her fingers.

"You know what I think?" She asked me.

"What?" I looked at her.

"I don't think you're confused. I think the problem is you have not wrapped yourself in love."

"What do you mean?"

She put her arm in between mine, where we were sitting arm and arm.

"When we wrap ourselves in love, self-love, we are not confused about the decisions we make. Because self love chooses every option that radiates our soul. Not choices that chip away it."

"Can I explain to you what happened to me?" I felt what she was sAying, but I felt she needed more info. It wasn't black and white.

"Go ahead."

"So my boyfriend or rather ex-boyfriend, when things were going right I found out some heartbreaking stuff. I mean he had kidney failure and we got through that. And we were just starting to connect and then I found out he got his dancer pregnant. And it crushed me to my core Nana. I loved him with every fiber in my being. I went above and beyond to be the best girlfriend I could, and for him to do that to me. And consistently lie to my face. Trying to make me believe I was the insecure one."I started back up crying.

"And I still love him. I've been out here almost five months and not a day goes by that I don't think about him. All my life I felt invisible. As a child I was living in my sister's shadows. And I excelled at so many things. Playing the piano, school, but nobody cared. And then I had another boyfriend Ant who I loved deeply, but work was more important to him than me. Then I met August. He had thousands of women that wanted him and he chose me. For the first time I didn't feel invisible. He knew that I existed and cared that I did or so I thought and then this news just dropped in my lap. And I just feel invisible all over again. I'm never good enough for anybody. I don't get it." I wiped my eyes.

"Follow me." We locked up the house and I followed her.

We kept walking it seemed like a long way. We stopped where this man was on a corner who had paint brushes, an easel and a canvas.

"Kofi please paint my dear."

"Sit here." He directed.

He told me to sit on this porch.

"I'll be out when you're finished." She went inside his house, I suppose to talk to the woman and children I saw through the window.

I knew for sure he couldn't see me in the dark. It was pitch black. let alone draw me in the dark.

He directed me how to hold my head and to turn my hair to one side. I did, although I thought he was insane.

He went to work looking at me, then painting I suppose.

About an hour later, he handed me the canvas.

Nana Efya handed him some money. I couldn't really see it in the dark. I tried to get glances as we walked back, but I didn't see it clearly.

We went inside the house upon returning and I finally saw it. I was amazed that he drew something so beautiful in the dark.

"Kofi specializes drawing subjects in the dark." Nana Efya said.

"Really?"

"You know why?" She asked me.

"Why?"

"Because darkness is the absence of light. That is the precise definition of darkness. And when light comes he can see. You my child have been searching in the darkness for light, when you are it." She grabbed the sides of my face.

"You are light Jazmine. You don't need anybodies approval for your beauty, your intelligence and your self worth. The only reason you are still holding on to him, is because you are looking to him, to provide the light you can give yourself. "

"But I love him Nana I do." I cried into her chest.

"I didn't say you didn't love him. Or couldn't love him. I'm saying you can love him, but you must learn to love yourself more. And make the choice that honors your self respect."

"Which choice is that?" I looked at her.

"Let self-love decide." She kissed my forehead. Then went to her room, closing the door behind her.

Now I had to try to figure out exactly what she meant because I was still confused. 😩