a new era of me

~absent, yet present~

~Mattheo Riddle~

~October 7th~

God, I woke up feeling like a boy that was going through puberty all over again.  After last nights intense rendezvous with... Adaline, I woke up stiff.

In more places than one.

What accompanied that feeling was guilt.  Not only had I fucked Adaline, I'd obliviated her earlier in the day.  She left without saying anything,  we didn't even talk about it.  About what we did.

Today we had classes, meaning I'd see her, Merlin, help me. I also needed that debrief with Tessa, I was curious about what she was talking about.

I'd tell Adaline eventually.

But I didn't want to ruin what we did do.

Not just the sex, I just—

That wasn't the point, this was a mess that I had created.

And I needed to fix it.

Eventually, of course.

Not now, but when I have the time.

In the meantime, I needed to get ready for the day. 
I extracted myself from my bed, I removed the  sheets off my bed and discarded them into a pile near my laundry. 

My room was a mess.

After that, I undressed. Tossing the clothing I had put on, into the same pile of laundry. To be quite honest, I don't remember changing. The only thing I remember... was vomiting my organs out, taking a scolding hot shower till my skin burned, then waking up.

And those tormenting dreams.

Those were there.

I certainly remembered those.

I wasn't all there.

I felt..

Absentminded.

I really wasn't all there.

I entered the bathroom and turned on the water, this time I settled with a cold shower.  I think they pretty much cancelled each other out.  My body was a bit sore, stiff, and sore.

I've never really felt like this after sex, guilty and shit. 

This was all new to me.

I wondered how she felt.

Well, I'd see Tessa today.  So, I'll ask her to check in on Adaline. 

The water washed over me,  my body chilled in an instant. I calmed down, I no longer felt panicked about all that I did.   

I shut the shower off, and got out.  I dried off, my body felt all weird, I just wanted to stay in and sleep. 

But I couldn't  do that, I got dressed, pulled my shoes on, and got ready to make my way out for the day.