Trapped In His Melanchony

Life and Death

The next day, Levi asked for a day off at pumayag naman agad ang boss niyang si Zace na ito muna ang magtrabaho sa kanya sa araw na yun. Ang hindi lang nito inaasahan ay imbis na magpahinga ito sa bahay niya ay bigla na lang itong sumulpot sa opisina nila.

"What the fuck? Paano ka nakapasok ditong lasing?"

"Tss. Because I already owned this, obviously?" he hissed as he sat down on the couch.

"Bakit hindi ka na lang mag inom doon sa bahay mo at para doon ka na lang rin makatulog?"

"I can't even fucking sleep, what else should I do?" mainit na ulong sagot nito. "Dalawang araw na akong walang maayos na tulog and my head is aching so bad. Parang puputok na sa sakit."

Zace sighed at tiniklop ang laptop niya upang pagtuonan ng atensyon si Levi. Kahit napaka strikto at talino nitong tao, napakadali parin nitong mawalan ng lakas na loob pagdating kay Addison, that sometimes makes him confused about his judgment to him. Levi is indeed unpredictable.

"She asked your permission but you didn't ever tell me about it." Ani ni Levi na umiiwas ng tingin.

Zace's is guilty, but he did not regret doing it tho.

"Tch. Kahit naman sabihin ko sayo di ko mababago desisyon niya. Levi, sobrang nasaktan mo si Addison. Di ko nga alam kung saan ako kakampi sa inyong dalawa eh. Kahit ako nasstress sa inyo." He sat down on the other couch across Levi. "I thought, you and Rico are getting real so I was thinking na baka nga mas nakabubuti rin kay Addison na iwasan ka na, besides, I kept promises Levi. She asked me not to tell you."

There is no more Levi could argue. May katotoran rin naman lahat ng sinabi ni Zace. When he pushed her away, he felt the pain in her eyes. Kahit siya ay nasaktan sa ginawa niyang yun kay Addi at gusto pa sanang habulin to retract what he said but yeah, napanghinaan siya ng loob non at inisip na lang na mas makabubuting mapunta na lang talaga ito kay Warren. Then he will just be contented to see her working with him.

"Have you seen how that kid looked like? He's like my doppelganger? He looked exactly like me."

"How about Addi? Did you consider her too?" Umayos ng upo si Zace sabay nagdekwatro. "I understand you are overwhelmed especially as you thought baog ka." he laughed. "Pero di pwedeng mawala sa litrato si Addison. There's a rumor na pag daw kanino kamukha yung anak, mas malaki daw ang pagmamahal nong hindi kamukha while ginagawa nila yung bata. It sounds like a shitty myth but for me, it does makes sense. Imagine making love with someone that all they think is you in their head, their contentment and madness. Kahit mahal mo naman siya, mas nilamangan niya. Di ba ang sarap sa pakiramdam?"

Levi indeed believe that it's nonsense but he would risk any to believe on that lie. Addi just said hurtful words to him that she was never happy nor loved him. His mind is telling him that all those coupling they had, she's so drown to him.

"You are wrong. I love Addison more than my son." Tears are starting to form at the side of his eyes. Oo at nainsulto siya sa sinabi ni Zace so he has the right to disagree with him. Ni konti ay hindi man lang nabawan ang pagmamahal niya dito kahit na pinipilit ng isip niyang kamuhian ito, his heart speaks louder. Kahit sa mga panahong nakaratay siya sa ospital, wala siyang ibang hinangad kundi ang makita ulit ito. Kung susulpot man ito sa pinto ng kwarto niya, pipilitin niyang tumayo at lumuhod sa harap nito kahit hindi pa bumabalik ang pisikal niyang lakas. It was a torture but he did  not stop praying and hoping to see her back. 

Simula ng malaman niyang anak niya si Elvi, mas lumaki ang pagmamahal niya dito. By naming him Elvi, by being a good mom to him just made him realized how lucky he is kung hindi lang nagkaletse letse ang buhay nilang mag-asawa.