We All Fall Down

Chapter 19

Becky

Things were awfully quiet across the street on that last day of school. I imagined Patrice flailing around, rushing in and out as though she gave a shit. Like she actually remembered his birthday for once. Like all the years of nurturing that precious first-born; the scraped knees and snotty noses, hours of sleepless nights and birthday parties...all the memories gone by that would not be enough when that child becomes an adult seemingly overnight.

But Patrice did not care. She did none of the nurturing. She did not place a bandage on the bloody knees. She did not pull a tissue from her purse. She did not wake when her son cried out at night or bring him to birthday parties, nor did she throw one. That had all been the work of Rick and myself. Would she even have thought to include me? Patrice thought of no one other than herself.

I fussed over Eve's hair as I tried to ignore looking out my front window.

"Mom, it's a little tight," Eve tilted her head away from me and placed her hand over her ponytail.

Wordlessly, I adjusted her hair, loosening it just enough without ruining the perfect, smooth base I'd provided her. Eve had lovely chestnut hair that ran down the length of her back. She would be graduating the following year and with each passing month, the walnut-sized lump in my throat grew larger and made it hard to breathe some days.

"Why don't you come out when we walk to the bus? I'm sure he would love to see you," Eve eyed the gift I'd wrapped for him. I'd spent hours at the store touching every fabric. I'd asked countless questions about the integrity of each one, wondering if they would stand against the harsher temperatures of New York's colder months. After I'd finally decided, had it specially wrapped and placed in my car, I suddenly felt silly. What 18-year-old man wants a stupid coat for his birthday? Of all the things I could have gotten him!

"No...I don't want to embarrass him. I'll just bring it over after school," I smiled and gave her a kiss on the cheek.

"He's leaving you know?" she replied, tugging on her backpack. "Roach, Mickey and some of the other girls who are graduating are going to some fancy ranch house. They are leaving right after school."

The words were a shock to my system. Was Rick aware that John was going away with girls?

"That's highly inappropriate," I managed before turning to the kitchen.

"He's going to college, mom. There are girls there," Eve teases. "I'm gonna miss him too. I'm sure he'll come back to visit." She threw me a comforting smile and reached for the doorknob. The morning sun peaked through the thick limbs of our tree, and I squinted through the glare and looked over Eve's shoulder to see Ben and John talking to one another as they exited their home. Rick's car was not in the driveway.

"You think she forgot again? Is that why you're so upset?" Eve paused and leaned against the door frame.

I furrowed my brow and shifted my weight. "It wouldn't surprise me if she did. And now, he's leaving." My lip quivered at the thought.

Eve walked toward me and threw her arms around my neck. I inhaled her scent and inwardly remarked on how it's changed over the years. How lucky I am to have cherished those changes instead of taking her for granted. I'd made myself that promise many years ago. A promise that if God ever saw me fit to be a mother, that I would always put my child first.

"He will come back," Eve reassured me and gave me a peck on the cheek. "I'll see you later," she added before turning to leave for the bus. I hurried to the window and watched as she bounded down the sidewalk to Ben and John, and my heart warmed at the sight of their bright smiles, welcoming her. I miss those moments. Just as they got to the corner, I spotted Mickey and that delinquent, Joshua—who goes by the disgusting name Roach—walk up to meet them at the bus stop. Mickey is a lovely boy, and I knew he would make his parents very proud. Roach was a bad influence however. I couldn't wait for John to be thousands of miles away from him. Eve knows to stay far away from the likes of that boy. I'll never forgive myself for not putting a stop to that trip the moment I found out. Could have saved everyone a lot of heartache. Or maybe not.

Sometimes, shit just happens.