We All Fall Down

Chapter 39

Rick

My priority had always been to get her well, and I vowed to do anything to make sure that I would have my wife back. If she wanted another baby later on, it would be ours. Not that prick Ted from across the street. I should have been with Becky when I had the chance. Her beautiful soft curves underneath her thin gown she used to nurse in. Her luscious full lips and deep brown eyes. I should have done it, then maybe Patrice would have gotten jealous and realized what she was taking for granted. I knew she had been screwing around. Ted being one of her victims, but I assumed they would at the very least be more careful. I felt so betrayed. I knew she was not well and that we had so much rebuilding to do.

As I mulled over what had so violently been dumped upon me, I knew what I had to do. I had to put aside my pain and anguish to make things better. I was determined to fix her, fix us. I'd placed her in the best facility around and she was getting the best treatment available. The doctor and I had made the right decision to place the baby in more loving and capable hands. A nice couple from two towns over had been wanting a child for years, and I knew anyone who wanted something for that long deserved a shot.

Patrice was on so much medication at the time that it sent her into early labor, but the baby was healthy despite her lack of care for herself. She was a cute little thing, tiny but round and alert. She had Patrice's mouth. I wasn't able to be in the room, but as they placed her in the nursery I watched her eyes roam around. Her limbs constantly moving and waving. I couldn't let myself get attached. This was not our baby. I signed the papers that night. They didn't need Patrice's because she was still considered unable to make rational decisions. The doctor promised that she would never remember. I would get my wife back and we would be happy again. I honored my vows and committed to making my family whole again.

"Are you sure this is what you want to do?" The doctor asked for the umpteenth time.

"I'm not sure about anything anymore. I used to be. I used to think that things were black and white. Simple. That the world worked in this smooth and perfect balance. But, not anymore. Not now. But I have to be confident that this is right. I have to know that I didn't screw everything up. That I didn't ruin my family. That this isn't ultimately all my fault. So, no doc...I'm not sure. But I have to be. For her, for my son and for that little girl right there." I wouldn't look at him. I just stared at the little baby. Not mine. In truth. I wanted that baby far away from us as possible.

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After the big fight, the one that ended in Patrice's final exit through our door, I thought it was all over. I felt relieved. I could finally move on and spend my remaining days only worrying about myself and Ben. John, too, of course, but he was a man now. It seemed like the spell had been lifted, and I was free. Only, things with Patrice were never so cut and dry. Her mistakes were coming back to bite us and she was conveniently gone. Which was probably for the better.