We All Fall Down

Chapter 52

John

"Why didn't anyone tell me?" It's the question I kept asking myself and I needed someone, anyone to answer it.

Ben shrugged and leaned his elbows on his knees, "I didn't know you were trying to screw the girl. At the time, I was worried I'd almost lost my brother, then I was taking care of Dad, and then you left."

"Even if you didn't know about me and Rose, you knew we had a sister, a half sister, and didn't tell me."

"Tell you and what? You'd decide to come home? Start having family dinners with your fag brother and sister you had the hots for like one big happy family?"

"Language!" Becky choked out.

"I didn't do anything with her!" I didn't know why I was defending myself, but I think I felt more of a pull to defend Rose's honor. A rumor like that would be devastating. I wondered if she'd confronted her parents when she got home, or had her mother found some way to brush it off, call us a bunch of liars. She was clearly a very convincing woman. "How long did you know?" I turned to Becky who was staring out across the yard.

"I'd always had a feeling she'd not been faithful to your father. I'd considered each of you being...not Rick's, but apparently he'd done a paternity test on Ben and was very certain that you were his. You were conceived...intentionally, and before she became...what she is." Becky spoke as if she'd had a very long time to digest it all. Which, in essence, she did. She spent so much time with my mother over the years, understanding her likely in a way that even my dad hadn't.

"But how did you know it was Ted's?" Ben asked.

She took another inhale and smiled as she blew it through her lips. "Because your father wrote to him after her stay at the mental facility. Basically a back-off-or-else type of thing. I found it when I was going through the closet to find baby blankets."

Ben didn't appear shocked, but I felt like I'd been physically shoved back in my seat, "Wait...why were you looking for baby blankets? When was this?"

"Oh, a month or so before you graduated. A happy surprise!" she smiled, and it looked to reach every good part of her. Becky was a wonderful mother. "He's a little over a year now. I have a nanny since, you know, I kicked Ted out."

"Where's Ted now?" I asked because I truly had no other words. My mother had effectively destroyed the only people in her life that ever cared for her. And for what? Did it weigh on her conscience at all?

"Not far. Of course he wants 50/50 custody now that he has a son. He showed so little care for Eve in those early years, but now he gives a damn. Imagine that," she humphs and sits back in her seat.

"What did the letter say?" Ben asked. I was curious, too. I knew so little of what made my father tick, what might cause him distress as I never witnessed him angry or frustrated, or anything other than a mild-mannered sap. 

She wordlessly reached beside her, into her purse and slipped out an envelope. "I keep it. I know that seems ridiculous, but it's a reminder that I will never go back to that life."

I never thought much about Becky's personal life, outside of the fact that it was perfect. That Ted was perfect, Eve was perfect and Becky kept their home neat, tidy and smelling of fresh baked delicacies every single day. It never occurred to me that she might have been unhappy. That Ted wasn't a perfect husband. My father had to have been unhappy too, but never showed it either. Is that what it's like being an adult? Do they all mask how much they wish they had it differently? Is every marriage doomed? I can't imagine living another day being miserable because of someone else, and they stayed stuck for years.

Ben reached and took the paper from her outstretched hand and held it between us to read together:

Ted

I understand we all have our flaws. I know that in life there is no perfect person, and we all have to find ways to accept one another as it is the courteous thing to do. What is also courteous, however, is for a man to not take advantage of a sick woman and a good friend. A Christian man to not covet his neighbor's wife. As I sit watching my wife deteriorate before my eyes, I have to be the one to decide how to care for her. How to care for the baby inside of her. The baby that I know is not mine. The baby that I know is yours. She has asked for you several times as she is out of her mind and unaware of where she is or who I am. You had your fun and now I am the one left to clean up the mess you two have made. I think of myself as a level-headed man, a respectful man but what I cannot bring myself to do, is raise a child that does not belong to me. I take it this is not something you wish your wife to be privy to, so I have decided to send the child off to be adopted by a loving family who is in no way connected to this shameless situation. I want to make it clear that you are under no circumstance to come near my wife again. Consider this the last favor you will ever receive from me.

Regards,

Rick

"Wow, he was really pissed. Very may I speak to your manager but like, with adultery," Ben chuckled and handed the letter back.

"Do you think he was only doing that with my mom?" I asked. 

Becky shrugged, "He tried to deny it was even true, saying they were crazy and we always knew it, so why believe this...but, with the letter was a copy of the adoption papers, so I found the date of birth, did the math...there was a solid month he claimed to be working late on some project at the office. That also happened to be a time where Patrice was often leaving the house, leaving you. It just made sense. A woman knows, and I've seen the girl around. She does favor Patrice, but there's so much of Ted in her mannerisms, her chin has the same dimple. It doesn't matter if it were one time or twenty, he had a child with someone else and allowed me to cater to her like some sister wife. It's sick. It's just sick."

"I'm surprised they didn't move away the second they found out. Clearly, her mom did not want Rose to find out," my shoulders were tensing so much that I ached.

"Well, you left. Your father wasn't about to do anything, he wanted nothing to do with her from the start. That only left us," Becky waved her hand in the air. "And Ted wasn't about to tarnish his own image by entertaining this lovechild of his and the crazy woman across the street. Best Rose finish school here. She didn't know any different. Another secret. Another tether to your family," Becky sighed. I wondered how often she'd cursed herself for ever being friends with my mother, how different her life might have been if she'd never gotten close to our family.

"Will you come tomorrow?" Ben asked her.

"Of course. In a lot of ways, Rick and I relied on each other through so much and didn't need to talk about it. I loved you boys so much, as if you were my own. Ha! I guess I am her sister wife..." she smiled again, but this time it was sadder, like reflecting on what a shit hand we were all dealt and survived it anyway. "Of course, I will come pay my respects to Rick."