We All Fall Down

Chapter 20

John

Present

It's been a week since my mom has called and I'm left annoyed with my own discontent. I don't want to talk to her, yet when there are long stretches between her calls, I worry that she's disappeared again. I contemplate going down to the atrium of my building, but I decide to try and call Ben. It has been even longer since we've spoken and I feel a pang of guilt. I'm the older brother, he shouldn't be the only one holding our relationship together.

The phone trills once, twice, then goes to his answering machine. His voice sounds both familiar and like a complete stranger's telling me to leave a message after the tone. I don't. He won't call back. I blow out a long breath and tap my fingers on my desktop. The sound of rain pulls my attention to the window and I twist in my seat. I have never liked rainstorms, and for whatever reason, they always give me a deep sense of dread.

Vic loves the rain. She calls it "reading weather" and demands that no matter what we are doing, whatever the plans are, at the first hint of precipitation, we shift gears and curl up on the couch together with coffee or wine and she recites from her latest novel. I love the soothing sound of her voice. The way she expresses the characters' thoughts and feelings as though she feels them the same way. It has helped my aversion to rain. I remind myself that now, I have something to look forward to.

I stand up and walk towards the window now, press my palms to the windowsill and lean my forehead against the cool glass. My eyes close and try to calm my heart that beats faster the harder the drops pelt. Victoria's rainy day demands only help outside of working hours.

The phone rings behind me, and I don't have to pick it up to know who it is. Of course, she will call when I'm feeling anxious. My mom is nothing if not predictable.