Surface Adventures +Other Skits & Interactions (UT/DR/UTY & others)

Ep. 9: The Final [Deal] Is Always The Greatest [Spamton EX Arc PT. 4]

*Everything was dark. Completely and utterly dark. Spamton couldn't see anything but this darkness. It was around him and it was cold and silent except for the ringing of a telephone in the distance. The phone sat on a lonely stool, ringing non-stop. Spamton slowly approached the stool, reaching his hand out to answer the call. As soon as he put it to his ear, no voice came through. It was an endless dialtone. That dialtone became garbage noise. That garbage noise then grew in volume and Spamton felt the strings. The strings that pulled at his limbs. Then, there was a garbled voice on the other end. Spamton fought to break free after dropping the phone. He struggled and tugged as hard as he could to snap the strings, still hearing that same garbled voice, garbage noise, and dialtone. He began to wonder if he was truly free.*

*Digger had been sitting close by, monitoring him while the others cleaned dead roaches and tracked where Caroline and Cocker Roach went. She heard him mumbling something strange and immediately checked his battery. He was finally back to a full charge so, she shook him awake.*

Digger: Spamton! Spamton, can you hear me? Wake up! Spamton!

Spamton: NOT THE PHONE AGAIN!! I NEED TO RECLAIM MY [FREEDOM]!

*Spamton jolted awake instantly, taking a moment to collect himself.*

Spamton: Oh... I-It's just you, [Angel].

Digger: Spam, this is serious. You're still having those weird dreams about phones and strings. When are you gonna tell me what all that means?

Spamton: My [Freedom], Digger. That's what it means. I'm not [Free] if there are strings.

Digger: Listen, I know you were literally a puppet before and you probably still feel like one. But look at your arms when they move. No one is doing that. That's all you.

Spamton: [Butt] the phones-

Digger: But nothing, Spamton! You're not a puppet and you don't have to take every call! You are more than that!

Spamton: ...

Digger: This happens every night still. If it's getting worse, just tell me and we can find a way around it. You're not suffering alone anymore. You don't have to do it right now. We don't have the time for it anyway. Cocker Roach and Caroline could be at the vault as we speak. We need to take care of them first and then, we can talk about what's keeping you up.

Spamton: Speaking of which, how long was I [Out Of Order]?

Digger: Long enough to give the others time to explain what just happened to the other guests.

Spamton: I guess we should [Go] find them. I'm the [Limited Time Only] one she wants. Maybe... Maybe getting all these [Upgrades] was a bad idea.

Digger: What? Don't say that, Spam.

Spamton: IT'S TRUE! SHE WOULDN'T BE [Hunting] ME DOWN LIKE THIS IF I DIDN'T LOOK LIKE A [Bishounen Hero]!

Digger: I won't have any of that kind of talk from my Big Shot roommate. That new EX body got you so many sales. Are you sure you'll give them up just to keep crazed women off you? You've been trying to rebuild everything you once had and now, you're just gonna leave it again?

Spamton: THAT'S NOT THE [Main Course] REASON WHY I DID THIS!

Digger: Then, tell me why you really did it! I want the truth, Spamton!

Spamton: ...

*Spamton sighed as his glasses started becoming static.*

Spamton: I did this for you... I did it to help build a [Spacious And Luxurious New Home] for you... For us. You and I were in the same [Boat Shoes]. We always have been. I just wanted to see you [Big]... I wanted to see you [Happy And Healthy].