Antwoord - Joost Klein

48.

"Does this mean I can't cum inside of you anymore?" Joost blurted out after I had cried for about an hour straight.

"What?" I turned around to face him in the bed.

"Yeah, you know, if a man cum inside of a wom-" Joost was about to explain but I put a finger over his mouth in no time.

"I know what happens, you don't have to explain basic biology to me" I rolled my eyes at the man before me.

We were on our way to Hannover to do the third last show of the tour. We would be driving during the night but it was a very short ride so it wouldn't take long. However, we still went directly to bed as soon as Aggu was done with his show. Tonight, it didn't feel like a celebration, or to me it didn't.

As soon as Aggu heard I even shed a tear, he was quick to try to get out of doing his show, but I forced him right back on stage. As sad as I was over disappointing him, I didn't want him to disappoint his fans that came to see him. I knew he didn't want that either, he just wanted to be there for me. Another proof to Zarti that people didn't just leave me when things got tough.

Joost had showered with me, did my skincare for me, dressed me in comfortable clothes, gotten a cup of tea and snuggled me as tears escaped my eyes. I felt so thankful for all the things he did for me but guilty for not being able to give anything back. He was everything you could ask for, and here I was putting him down with my dumb insecurities.

But somehow, he was always able to make me stop my thoughts from spiraling with a weird and dumb question. Most of the time it was also a bit inappropriate but then again when had Joost and I ever been appropriate with one another?

"Alright, alright. I just don't want you to accidentally get pregnant right now since I don't fancy having a kid running around right now" Joost explained himself.

"Me too. I don't want kids" I told him.

"As in right now or ever?" A questionable look made its way on his face. It was easy to tell because his two-coloured eyebrows would squeeze together as a few lines would appear on his forehead.

"Not ever. I already hate the way I look right now, imagine how horrible I would feel carrying a baby and their weight. I don't really find enjoyment in the whole process of being pregnant, too many reasons not to do it" I casually said.

"What? The gift of putting a child into this world with your body is a miraculous thing. It's only a blessing to give birth to a child" he said from his perspective.

"Well, you are a man, so I don't judge you for not understanding" I exclaimed.

"What does anything have to do with the fact that I'm a man to not understand you?" He questioned.

"Most men don't understand what women must go through to even birth a child. How you are putting your whole life on the line to maybe give birth to a healthy child. It's fucking up the body you have, and I don't mean just in the way you gain weight. Your whole body can change, taste buds, you risk ribbing yourself open leaving scars and wounds for it. There is so much more to it than a man would understand because they don't have to go through that pain" I explained to him in small details but there was a lot more to it.

As it is seen in today's society more and more women don't want to have children. Not only because the world is a pretty fucked up place but also because we have realised how fucked up, we get because of it. Putting your life on the line for a man asking for a child, is something this society's women are standing up against.

Women have rights now, unfortunately not everywhere yet but we are closer to getting it than we were 100 years ago. Women have the right to their own body and to say no to birthing a child since it's too much of a risk. Everything we used to know would change, we are reborn with the child as women. And men then have the audacity to complain about why we won't birth more children?