Antwoord - Joost Klein

7.

The drive to my mother's house wasn't far from Joost's friend's house so I was there in no time. The house itself represented my mother: clean, sharp, and modern. It was huge considering it was located so close to the midtown of Amsterdam.

The house was skinny, much like my mother but very tall, also much like my mother. It was three stories high with one too many bedrooms since it was just her living there. She would often have guests over so she wouldn't feel so lonely in the big house.

I got there around 3 o'clock so I decided to go grocery shopping, so I would be able to cook for my mother when she got back. I decided to make a creamy orzo dish with spinach and mushrooms. It was my go-to dish since it was so easy to make and delicious.

I hadn't eaten all day so just shopping in the grocery store made me hungry. I decided to get a few snacks that included peanuts and cola. They used to be my favourite snacks when I wasn't starving myself and since there was no one around, I felt like I could use them as a cheat snack.

When I got back to the house, I turned on the tv as I had a bowl of peanuts on the side. However, I didn't just sit there and watch tv, I was working in the meantime. With every phone call I made, I felt my eyes getting heavier and heavier.

I wasn't even done with the Dutch shows yet, but I had to be done with three countries in 2 days. I knew I should have kept working but my eyes had other plans. I slumped onto the couch and let myself get taken away by the tiredness.

If the phone hadn't rung, then I would probably have slept until tomorrow morning. I quickly picked it up, which turned out to be the venue who was still thinking about wanting Joost and Aggu to play there. The call continued for quite a while so when I was finished, I started making dinner.

I poured a glass of white wine as I cut up the vegetables. I played some The Smiths in the background to make cooking a bit more enjoyable. As I was still recovering from anorexia, I hated it when my mind only had to focus on food, so I silenced those thoughts with music.

The worst part was that I was actually a really good cook, but the eating part afterwards was what I was an amateur at. I kept telling myself it was normal to fear eating because of the calories back in the day, but as I got treatment, I started believing I needed food to survive. I had come a long way so far since when I first checked into the hospital.

I was working 24/7 and with that I barely ate anything. I didn't even intend not to eat but with Aggu's career heading off at 100 km/h I knew it came with demanding work from my side too. I needed to get him out to as many people, so Aggu became my primary focus.

I wasn't selfish; I rarely thought about what I wanted. I thought about what I could do for others to help them to achieve their dreams. The only times I thought about myself was when I had to reach certain levels to help others, like getting an education.

I grew up as an only child but did not live up to the stereotype of not doing anything for others. I always shared my stuff with others; I even paid for things just so I could share. I wanted people in my life to share with since I had spent the first few years being an only child.

I set up the table because my mother could arrive at any moment. I placed the finished orzo dish in the middle so we could sit opposite each other in the huge dining room. The table was able to fit around 20 people, but we only took up a small corner.

I heard a lock being unlocked from the entrance as I heard my mother announce her presence. I quickly finished the last few details by placing some parmesan on the side and filled some glasses up with water.

My mother walked into the dining room and her eyes immediately fell onto me. She scanned me up and down. "Oh sweetheart, how you look. Come here" She had a bit of a sad face as she pulled me in for a hug, but I felt like she was just proud of how far I had come.