True Form (Avengers x Reader)

-25-

still Nat's pov:

JARVIS, show us the record of our previous mission" Tony demanded and a screen lit up, showing the camera footage of his Iron Man suit.

Tony hacked the cameras of the base that showed y/n with a HYDRA soldier. We all watched in silence as they fought and I felt anger built up inside of me when he shot her, obviously enjoying her pain.

"What a sick bastard" Yelena mumbled. No one corrected her language. We all thought the same.

Everyone held their breath as she managed to push herself up even though she should already be passed out. I never saw this much rage on a person's face, even though it seemed like she had a blank expression.

My eyes interlocked with Bucky's. He looked intimidated and to be honest, I was as well, which was really a rare occurrence.

"Pupils are dilated, heavy breathing, movements are a bit sudden and uncontrolled. Looks like she's having a pretty decent adrenaline rush" Bruce concluded.

"Why's she chuckling? That's creepy as fuck" Sam said with wide eyes.

"Yeah it's because her body needs to deal with the sudden surge of energy and tension. It's indeed pretty intimidating"

"So how are we gonna do this?" Clint asked.

"If she's still in her animal form, try to do what Nat always does to calm down the Hulk. If she's in her human form her adrenaline rush is already over, which would be preferable. Just stay calm, don't make sudden movements and don't push her" Bruce suggested and we nodded.

"Let's go before she bleeds to death"

Y/n's pov:

I was still running, trying to get as far away as possible from everything. After a while, my foggy mind began to clear up and suddenly something inside of me snapped as I regained control over myself.

All my thoughts, feelings, senses came crushing down on me like Clint when he falls out of the vents. For a moment I was just laying there in shock, not able to move anything, but slowly trying to collect myself.

You can do this, just shift. It's okay, whatever you did it can't be that bad.. just.. stay calm.

I took a deep breath, closed my eyes and shifted back into my human form. Unfortunately I forgot all my reassuring thoughts as soon as my eyes traveled down to my hands.

I freaked out.

Is that blood? Why is blood on my hands?! Why am I covered in blood? Why am I covered in blood?! Shit, shit, shit, shit!

Frantically, I crawled backwards until my back hit a tree and I pulled my legs towards my chest, arms wrapped around them. The smell of blood intensified and burned in my throat, making me want to throw up.

Shit, what just happened? What did I do? Did I hurt someone? Where is everyone?- Where am I? Oh no! What do I do? What do I do? Okay, breathe, it's okay, it's- no it's not, FUCK!

My mind was racing at a thousand miles per minute and I couldn't concentrate at one of my countless thoughts, so I just let it overwhelm me and squeezed my eyes shut, hoping against my own sanity that this was just a bad dream.

Why is there blood everywhere? I can't remember what happened- I can't! No, no, this isn't real, this isn't really happening- it just can't. This can't be real!

I took in some shaky, forced breathes, but ended up chocking on air. I was a mess to say the least. Pressing my eyes shut even tighter, not being able to look at myself, I let out heartbreaking sobs as I started to hyperventilate.

Shit, I ruined Tony's suit! I just got it yesterday, he must've spend so much time on it and I just broke it because I couldn't control myself. What is wrong with me?! They did so much for me, what if I attacked them? Fuck, what if I killed them? No, no, no, never, they can defend themselves. They can, they can.

I inhaled sharply, tears sparkling in my already red and puffy eyes, but I refused to let them fall just now. 

Suddenly my rambling thoughts were I interrupted by muffled voices and the sound of footsteps rustling on the dry leaves on the ground.

"Y/n!" I recognized the voice of Natasha. Okay, at least they're still alive.

I quickly stumbled to my feet, leaning against a tree for support. When the Avengers arrived, I saw some eyes widen and a few quiet gasps which gave me the confirmation that I must've been looking exactly how I felt.

"Oh y/n.." Nat quietly mumbled as she walked towards me.

"No!" I shouted and stepped back, holding my hands out in front of me to signal her not to come any closer.

"What?"

"Don't come near me! I don't wanna hurt you" I pleaded, my voice noticeably cracking.

"What are you talking? It's okay-" she tried, but I cut her off.

"Please tell me I didn't kill someone"

They didn't even need to answer, since the glances that were exchanged told me more than a thousand words ever could. I closed my eyes, not trusting myself not to have another breakdown.

"But they were HYDRA, they were bad.." Sam tried.

"It makes no difference!" I screamed, watching some of them flinch. "I killed them because I couldn't control myself!"

I couldn't hold it anymore. The tears fell down freely, slowly carving lines in my already blood stained face and blurring my vision.

"No y/n. They provoked you, it's not your fault" Steve stated.

A wave of exhaustion hit me and I had to lean more against the tree to hold my body up. My shoulder was throbbing and aching like hell, dizziness making me sway and I began to pant slightly.

"No, I did just what HYDRA wanted"

Clint rose an eyebrow. "I doubt they want their soldiers to get killed"

"You don't understand. I just proved HYDRA's experiments successful. I snapped, I became exactly the merciless weapon, the killer they wanted me to be!" I exclaimed.

Unfortunately this was too much for my body and I collapsed on the ground. My eyelids started to drop as some warm arms wrapped around me.

"It's okay, you're just exhausted" I wasn't sure who said it, but I managed to mumble one last thing before darkness consumed my being.

"I'm a monster"