ILLUSION || Jason Todd

FIFTY-FOUR

❝YOUR CORNER IN MY MIND IS WELL-ESTABLISHED❞

SABRINA CARPENTER, HOW MANY THINGS

The weeks came and went as fast as the season changed. Lorelei's birthday had passed, her January third day of birth becoming nothing but a blurred moment in time as the weather shifted into a Spring breeze. The young mage was there, celebrating her birthday. She remembers that much. The fake smiles, cheers as everyone of high society danced around her. A faint memory of a cake would flash through, too, along with the argument she had about its existence with her father.

She didn't want a cake. Or the candles. Lorelei left the party at the sight, telling everyone her wish wouldn't come true anyway. She had expectations for her birthday, no amount of planning and organising would bring those beliefs to be true. So what was the point? Birthday cakes were banned around Lorelei on January third.

The past few weeks had been Hell for the ice blonde mage. She hadn't ever, in her entire nineteen years of existence, felt an emptiness quite like this. She was existing, a floating soul fumbling around the world in search of a reason to continue. There was none, she just had to survive once again.

Surviving was harder now. She knew what to do. The years and years of continuing to live through shit had brought the instincts needed to weave through her mission to leave Centia. There wasn't too long left, she would become Archmage soon enough and nobody could stop her from doing what she wanted, when she wanted.

That thought didn't feel comforting anymore. Fate and destiny got in the way of what she wanted; something unattainable. Still, she would be unstoppable. But what was the point in having such victory if the person you were going home to wasn't here?

Home.

Jason was her home.

Everyone was right - she couldn't deny anything anymore. Her feelings were there, strong ones too, but what good did it do now? It didn't. It made her hurt, it brought her fresh tears every day without fail. She couldn't say the word. You couldn't take that back.

Lorelei had spent many days without a home, months without a proper roof over her head and her bed becoming rotten wood. That didn't matter anymore. This was her first time feeling completely and utterly homeless.

She missed Jason and the only way to see him was to visit his grave. She couldn't face that. She couldn't even bring herself to visit Bruce or Dick - letters were enough. She could manage letters.

Her elemental magic was still gone, the blockage growing a frustration from Lorelei as it showed the truth she tried concealing every day. She was not okay, she was not as fine as she pretended to be - and everyone knew it. As much as she lied to herself, saying that keeping to her schedule and eating whatever was plated in front of her, everyone knew the truth.

But enough was enough. Today was the day as Lorelei opened the doors to her father's office, the intrusion into the room heaving as the young mage invaded into the last resort. An eyebrow became raised as Winston looked from his paperwork towards his daughter as Dylan closed the door behind her, the action small yet saying a thousand words; she had moments to explain before she was sent away. And it better be good, worthwhile of his time.

"I wanna do it." The words fell rushed, her heart stabbing against her years of resisting as the sentence became one she couldn't take back. It was now or never. And Lorelei held no choice if she wanted to succeed in life.